


Insane Love

by Chaos_Angel666



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Dark Knight (2008)
Genre: AU, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Blood, Bond Mate, Child Abuse, Dom/sub, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi-language, Nudity, Obsession, One sided bond, Romance, Taboo Romance, Transformation, metahuman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:18:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 81,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3232580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Angel666/pseuds/Chaos_Angel666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To protect her from Gotham and from herself, Selina Kyle grew up in Germany without the knoweledge of who or what she is. But business drives the Joker into her life and Gotham calls her home at last. Catwoman is born and in more danger than she could ever have imagined.  Kinda Alpha/Omega. Joker x Catwoman.  AU! NC-17</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Page Of Our Story

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Seriously, there is barely anything about these two. It really is a great Ship if you take a moment and think about it! As I started Shipping them it was just because I love both Characters so much but with every new chapter, the more time I spent thinking about this, the more I realized how good this actually would work. Of course, in the Comics and other medias Catwoman was always disgusted by him and his methods and they never really had anything to do with each other. But let's look at it like this: Catwoman is Dominant, very much so. She admires strong men that leave her space to be who she wants to be but care for her and protect her. But she's also drawn to possessive/dominant men that can tame her a little. I mean, take Batman for example. He can deal with the fire in her but he isn't trying to change her, not . And Joker is a mad dog who manipulates others to get what he wants without halting at pretending to be in love. But I can imagine him finding interest in someone that is like her, someone that doesn't allow him to push her around as Harley does it. Someone that stands her/his ground even though he's roaring and threatening. Opposites are often drawn to each other.  
> I'm not saying the Joker/Harley relationship goes completely past me, I adore it. But personally I like her more with Ivy, for several reasons.  
> I know my explanation is crappy but I hope you realize what I mean to say as the Fic goes on.  
> I made my characters all younger than they are because this story will play over a few years and I don't want them to be that old too soon. Some of my characters, or better many of them, are out of the Nolan Movie Verse but many others are out of the TV Series or the Games too. You'll see as soon as we get to them.  
> Through Angeline (Selina) grows up in Germany there will be German sentences in this FF a lot of times and even some other languages because I like putting different languages into my stories but I translate them right next to the sentence so... Why not right? ^^

'' Jetzt komm endlich Angeline! '' (Angeline, come on already!) I turn my head away from the Squirrel in front of me to look over my shoulder. My eyes meet the gray-blue ones of my friend Lily who looks at me with a glare that lets on that I shouldn't strain her patience right now. The slightly wet air made her dyed blond hair become curly in the most funny ways. Needless to say that she is everything but amused about that. With a small grin I look at Bonny who stands right next to her, her foot patting impatiently on the ground while her arms are crossed over her chest to show of her annoyance. In the opposite to Lily's hair, her black hair becomes only straighter but her light-brown eyes don't look very happy about that. After all she spends almost a full hour in the bathroom to get it a little curly each morning. I think about turning my back to them but Bonny would pull me into that bus on my neck if she had to, I rather spare myself the pain. With a last glance at the squirrel I place the rest of the bread crumbles on the ground and walk up to the bus that hold most my classmates. My teacher stands in the door, her shoulder resting on the cool metal frame, her eyes tired but annoyed. As soon as I pass Bonny, a hit to my head makes me wince. Sometimes I understand why Bonny's always slapping the back of my head but at times like these she really likes to overreact. I admit, there are times where I need someone to stop me. She just tries to keep me from trouble, or jail that one time. I think most of the stuff I do really is stupid but I sometimes I can't help myself. There are so many things I'd like to do that are seen as wrong or that are dangerous. I probably should think things through a little more before I act but that would take the adrenaline out of it. The fun, the excitement. It would all be just some boring trip.

With an apologetic smile and my hands up in defeat I jump into the bus and sit down on a seat at the window. Next to me comes Lily while Bonny stands in front of us, her back resting against the window and her eyes closed. That trip counts to the worst we ever had and that really means something. The Museum itself wasn't this bad, Egypt and it's history always interested me but the woman that was supposed to inform us about that culture and its myths was more concentrated on babbling about her love life than about her original task. At some point my teacher eventually interrupted her and asked her to please continue the tour. Unfortunately we had to leave before we got to the part about the grave chambers.

As soon as everyone found a seat, the doors close and the bus begins to drive back to our school. On our way we drive through a small forest when suddenly the bus makes a sharp stop. With a hiss I grab Bonny before she can fall over while holding Lily back with my other hand to pretend her from breaking her nose on the metal bar. I stabilize myself by ramming my heels into the ground but bump my knee into one of the bars. A couple of my classmates actually did hit something because I hear pained gasps and annoyed cussing around me. Questioning voices ring through the bus while I look to the driver who grabs blindly for the button that opens the doors, his eyes wide and focused on something outside. My eyes narrow slightly in confuse and move to the door. 5 large men step inside, clown makeup on their faces and machine guns in their hands that look like simple AK 47. Behind the 5 men, another slightly smaller but still tall man enters the bus, his back a little hunched. Opposite to the others he wears a mask instead of makeup and holds a smaller gun in his hand. Could be a Beretta but all I really know about guns I got from Video games so I can't be sure. The smaller man steps into the middle of the bus so that everyone is perfectly capable to see and hear him,

'' Alle man, uh, alle man _keine Panik_ . Wir _übernehmen_ den Bus _._ '' (Everyone, uh, everyone _don't panic_ . We _take over_ the bus.) There's a giggle in his voice, as if he's trying to suppress loud laughter. I see him licking his lips under the mask, hear how he makes a clicking sound with his tongue. The man has something on his voice that sends an uncomfortable shudder down my back. My stomach clenches uncomfortably. At the same time that familiar excitement runs through my body that I feel if a situation gets dangerous. This time though, there are people here that could get hurt if I allow the excitement to grow which only causes my stomach to clench tighter. Still, there is something on his appearance that rings a bell in my head. I've seen that guy, I'm sure of it. Blame my tired mind and the fact that I got a hit on the head yesterday but I can't remember.

My eyes abruptly move off him as I realize that one of the big guys collects everyone's phones in a plastic bag. As he stops in front of me I hesitated a moment. There are some very private things on it and for a second I play with the thought to claim that I don't have a phone, but with a look at my trembling friends I put it in the bag too so that he backs off. I doubt they want to snoop around anyway, they just want to keep us from calling the cops. My eyes hush to each of the guys, looking if there's any way that I could trick them but I soon see that these guys aren't after money. They are too enthusiastic for that. They don't hesitate to hit whoever is too loud for them. They have a hunger for corpses in their eyes and I start to believe that the man that is obviously the Boss, is the worst one of them. I see him smirking behind the mask while he looks at the crying girls who press their backs against their seats in the attempt to gain as much distance as possible to the men in front of them. I glance down at the guy that one of them hit hard enough to lose consciousness. I don't know what he did but it must have been enough to anger the man who now has blood on the grip of his gun. The man with the mask titles his head, shoulders shake lightly from a cold chuckle. I shiver on the voice. It's so dark, cruel. Like there's nothing kind inside the man, only brutality and sadism. I never once saw someone where it only took the posture and the slightly muffled voice to make me feel paralyzed with something very close to panic. I shake my head and bite my tongue until the pain forces my mind to clear somewhat. I need to focus. None of the people around me have enough control left to keep calm, I need to get us out of this situation. No, not all of us, only Lily and Bonny. I need to get my friends safe, nothing else matters.

I look back at the driver as I hear him screaming out in pain and falling to the ground, blood coming from his bruised nose and split open cheek.

_Did he try to escape? That was stupid._

I stop breathing as I see the Boss suddenly moving from his position to kneel down in front of the older man, this can't be good.

'' That _wasn't_ very, uhm, _smart_ y'know? '' The driver struggles in the attempt to move back but is stopped by one of the other men. He looks downright terrified, his eyes are filled with tears and his body is shaking,

'' B-bitte... lassen sie mich gehen... ich habe eine Familie...! '' (P-please... let me go... I have a family...!) The man chuckles darkly and grabs his face to make the driver look at the mask on his face, increasing the fear even more,

'' Aw, don't worry, we take care of _them_ too. '' I freeze completely and my eyes widen while my lips start trembling as the Boss suddenly flicks a knife out of his sleeve and digs it into the man's eye. I feel my body trembling as I watch the masses of blood flowing down the now red and meaty hole. The screams of the man only overpowered by the screams of my classmates behind me. But that little push is all it takes for the man to suddenly fall back, froth building in his mouth and his remaining eye turning back, his whole body cramping and trembling. I lick over my by now dry lips and bite with a shaky jaw into my bottom lip. This is the first time I saw someone getting killed in front of me. It really gives you a whole different feeling than seeing someone die in a movie. I feel my skin tingling while I only faintly hear the begging voices of those who are still able to speak. Hearing Bonny and Lily scream though rips me out of my trance. Bonny slid down the wall by now and hides her tear streaked face in her hands, her whole body curled to a small ball. Lily moved as close to me as possible for her so that I feel her trembling, her eyes wide and on the body at the front. I quickly cover her eyes and move her head down,

'' Beruhige dich... Es ist wichtig jetzt ruhig zu bleiben. '' (Calm down... It's important to stay calm now.) I know this is the only chance we have to survive this. People don't kill others like this because of revenge or some reason, this was just for his own entertainment. Maybe if I manage to keep them somewhat calm, they will be safe for some time. I just need some time to make up a plan...! I feel Lily moving her head to glance at me past my hand but she winces at a new voice,

'' Hey! Shut up! '' I glare at the man that just screamed at me with a deep, rough voice and watch him taking a step back on the rage in my eyes. This is all it's about. Staying calm and showing them that you're not afraid. Even if you are, don't let them see it. I feel everything in me tingling, fear now completely drowned in rage. I want to hurt those men so badly it feels as if this rage is taking me over completely. But it doesn't even need half a minute for me to figure that I would do more bad than good with this. I am too weak to manage to protect anyone, more likely I would end up making them kill me and my friends. I force my body to keep calm and as soon as the guy turns his back to me I pull Bonny into the seat next to me so that I sit now between my friends. I wrap one arm around her shoulders and whisper silently into her ear, my hand blindly grabbing for Lily's.

'' Ich lasse nicht zu das sie dir weh tun..'' (I won't let them hurt you) She doesn't answer and keeps her face hidden behind her hands but leans into my embrace. I watch one of the men getting onto the driver's seat. Some of the girls begin to cry quietly as the bus suddenly moves again. Silently I wonder where we head to as suddenly the man's eyes meet with mine and he smirks as he sees me glaring at him. On the straight look into his eyes I feel my mouth opening slightly while my eyes narrow in interest. I never saw such a look in a human's eyes before. Such a cruel look with so much amusement and something I can't really make out.

'' Bitte, lassen Sie die Kinder gehen...! '' (Please, let the children go) His eyes move from mine to the ones of my teacher as her shaky voice runs through the bus. I roll my eyes at that, it's more than obvious that pleads won't work with this man. As if to confirm my thoughts, the Boss suddenly pulls the mask from his head and throws it straight into my teacher's face with a loud, almost animalistic snarl,

'' _Can't rememba allowin' ya to speak!_ '' I wince slightly as he suddenly talks in a deeper voice than the one he used before. I close my eyes and take a breathe, this voice isn't normal, this man isn't normal. This isn't something I ever heard about another man than-

_No. No it can't be him. That isn't possible..._

Breathing out slowly I look at the man again, studying him from toes to head. He wears brown shoes that look like he's got them for years and never wears other ones. His purple pants are a little too short and show some blue and withe striped socks. His jacket is the same dark purple and has some dirt and blood on it. Underneath the jacket he wears a green waistcoat with a blue and white striped shirt underneath. But really interesting is his face. He wears white greasepaint all over his face that reaches a few parts of his hair, red lipstick covers his lips and scars messily and dark circles surround his eyes but some of the black smeared into the white.

 _That_ _is_ _the Joker! The Clown Prince of Crime from Gotham City is here! But... why? That's not making sense. There's nothing here that could interest him..._

Silently observing the Joker I remain on my seat but soon feel my fingers twitching in interest. I saw him on TV a couple of times, I sometimes thought about what it would be like to meet him. I imagined it different than this though. By now I can't help but feel more hate for him that actual interest. I always found him to be brutal and completely insane but I was interested in his life, in his way of being. Now I hate him for making my friends feel like this. And yet, if I could just somehow make him lose interest in my class... My grip on Bonny and Lily tightens for a moment before I stand up. As soon as Bonny feels my arm sliding off her back she moves her face from her hands to give me a scared look while Lily seems to play with the thought to kill me.

_I just need to keep him off my friends..._

'' Hey! You sit back- '' One man starts but quickly breaks off as the Joker gives him a glance that clearly tells him to be quiet. I straighten my posture and walk over to the seemingly arrogant Clown and look up into his eyes, my own ones slightly narrowed. His body is not for just one second still, he's either walking around or moving at least his hands. His ticks bringing him a madder look than anything else though. The way his lips twitch here and then, the way his hands move and his eyes shine.

'' Was tust du?! '' (What are you doing?!) My teacher screams at me in panic but both the Joker and I ignore her completely.

'' Why _hello_ beautiful...'' He says while looking me up and down. I watch him waving carelessly at his men that now slowly lower their guns again but I feel them looking at me. Thinking about this, everyone in the bus seems to be staring at me. The Joker circles me a few times, coming closer here and then to check if I move away or wince. I hear him making noises as he sees that I don't move, feel feel his nose brushing my hair on the back of my head a little. I follow him slightly with my eyes and force my breathe to stay calm, my voice neutral,

'' You're The Joker right? The one from Gotham City. '' He begins to laugh loudly what causes me to almost jump. I ignore the people around me and focus on the man in front of me. I know that, if I allow myself one wrong move now it'll be the last move I made. I have to focus, this isn't a game where I can press the restart button, this is real life. If I die here it's over for me.

'' The Clown Prince of Crime at yer service, darlin'. '' He bows in front of me, a laughter coming from his red lips. I narrow one eye a little and title my head on that gesture but before I have the chance to come up with something that convinces him to leave my friends alone, he already is back in his normal position and smirks at me, coming way closer now to tower above me. He wants to intimidate me.

'' Hey, wanna know... how I got these scars? '' His voice changes to a dangerous growl. I keep my face straight and cross my arms, raising an eyebrow at him,

'' Not really, no. '' He looks at me almost surprised a moment and smirks then,

'' 's that so eh? Shouldn't ya sit in a corner, cry yer eyes out and shit yer panties like the other brats then? ''

'' I like my pants clean, thanks. Shouldn't _you_ be in Gotham blowing something up though? '' The Joker starts laughing loudly while a few of his men around me chuckle but keep their guns stay firmly in their hands and pointed at my class mates.

'' Look at that, the kitten got claws! '' He calls out loud enough for everyone to hear. He wants to humiliate me.

'' What if I kill ya? Huh?! Would ya still be this cheeky if I slit yer throat?! '' His expression changes in a heartbeat and suddenly I feel the cold steel of a knife's blade against my throat while his eyes burn into mine. I swallow and stare into his eyes a moment, looking for anything that gives me assurance. Something tells me that he bluffs but I rather not let my mind fool me on this one.

'' Why don't you try it? '' My eyes narrow while I bare my teeth at him in a hiss but with a voice that practically dares him to kill me. I know what I do is risky but if I'm going to die anyway I can at least try to injure him. Get him away from my friends. He laughs again and takes the knife up to my face. I don't break the eye contact on that, I barely even blink. Because if I would, he would probably kill me or worse, he would see how nervous I am about the closeness between him and me. No psychopathic murderer ever threatened me before, I'm not used to that. But if neither my teacher nor my classmates beware a cool head, then I have to do something. Even if I don't like them, I don't want them dead…

_At least I think so… They're all not something I would call real friends but they're not that bad. If they die I get send into another class and have to deal with worse people._

The others look at me, panic and tears in their eyes, their bodies trembling. The Joker seems to see that too because he turns to my teacher and presses the knife to my throat a little harder, grinning widely as he sees her squirming. I smell blood and gunpowder and fire on him together with a musky smell that makes me shudder in pleasure but only for a moment. His body is definitively too close to mine. I feel my hand twitch but I curl it to a fist so that my nails dig into my palm and keep it still. I feel his breathe against my neck, feel his chest moving against my back. People call him a monster but he's just a human out of flesh and bones. He's close, if he slits my throat I may manage to push the knife into his chest before I bleed out.

'' Hmm, seems like someone's worried bout ya ma lil' Rebel. ''

'' She's just acting. '' I replay before I think about it. While my teacher gives me a shocked look the Joker's body starts to shake rapidly behind me as he laughs loudly into my ear. I wince and turn my head away from the loud noise. As the bus stops I sway to the side a little but The Joker doesn't flinch and so his arm stops me from falling to the side.

'' Well, time to get outa 'ere. Boys, tie the brats up and don't be too soft! '' Abruptly they get the others out of the bus before tying them up and simply letting them sit on the cold stone floor. I simply look how everything around me happens and stay a little in thoughts. I can't move anyway, after all the knife is still placed firmly on my throat. Still, I growl as I see them pushing Bonny and Lily to the ground roughly. I take a step to the door but stop as the Joker pulls me back on me arm and turns me towards him,

'' Worried bout yer friends lil' Rebel? ''

'' I swear if you hurt them I'll- ''

'' Yer in no position to threaten me, darlin'. ''

'' If I'm dying here anyway, I can at least say I tried my best. ''

'' _Cheeky_. I like that. ''

'' If I see one of your goons hurting them, I'll kill him. ''

'' Will ya huh. How? '' My eyes move from my friends to him.

_What kind of question is that? How should I know...-_

'' Ya seem to forget that I really _am_ a, uh.. _a_ _killer_ , sweetheart. I can see if someone's capable of that or not and... _you_... definitively aren't. ''

'' You'd be surprised. '' He cocks his head to the side, his eyes studying me for a while.

'' They'll shoot ya before ya reach 'em. ''

'' I'm not afraid of dying, bitch. ''

'' Yer really one fucking Rebel aren't ya? Ya see, I always like a good challenge... What would ya do if I shoot yer friends now? Ya gettin' mad then? Hmm? ''

'' Don't fucking touch them you sick son of a- '' The Joker suddenly presses the sharp blade into my cheek and carves into it. I scream on the abrupt burning pain as I feel the blade moving deeper into my cheek. Moments later I feel blood flowing down my cheek and soaking my shirt _. With a loud laugh h_ e pushes me out of the bus so that I almost slip but before I can fall his hand is around my neck and a few minutes later I sit tied up and pissed off between Bonny and Lily, cursing silently under my breathe, my cheek burning like someone poured acid over it,

'' Fuck this, fuck him, fuck the world, fuck everything...! I quit! Being a hostage is shit! '' With another snort I look around, forcing down the broiling anger inside me. My eyes move from one point of the area to the next, looking for small gapes in the wall or another door or maybe even a window that I could open. There must be a way to get Lily and Bonny away from here... But how do I get them out without being seen?

_I need to get his attention away from them so that they can escape. ...I need to attack The Joker, then they will all be focusing on me._

It looks like he brought us into an old warehouse, at least it looks like that. Most of my classmates are still crying, some silently, some with loud sobs, others simply stare into the empty space with blank expressions. I watch how 3 men position themselves around us and 2 at the large entrance while The Joker pulls a camera out of his pocket and holds it first to himself then to us and back to himself,

'' _Hellooo_ Germany! _Joker's_ _in_ _town_! I know y'all secretly wanted me to show up here too and get your _boooring_ lives a little more _interestin_ _g_. Well! I aim to please! It will _soon_. _Get. Interesting._ '' He says almost with childish excitement into the camera while walking around in front of us. I title my head slightly, wondering why someone that is obviously quit intelligent does something like kidnapping a small school class. Kidnapping some politician or a celebrity would make much more sense. Except...

'' And look who screamed loudly ' _here_ ' the first when I wanted to know who would like _to have some fun_! Ya want the brats? _C'mon_ _and_ _find_ ' _em_! I leave ya... _uhmmm_ , 3 hours time, proof me that yer not as stupid as ya all look like. _Hahahaha haha ahahaha!_ '' He ends the record and carelessly drops the camera in his pocket.

'' I can't remember ever screaming 'here'...'' He quits my comment with a small grin but he doesn't look at me, instead The Joker ignores me while he goes to one of my female classmates who always was easy to scare. By now she's a trembling and crying mess but that's exactly what The Joker likes. I can see it in his eyes, he loves seeing others in pain or totally terrified,

'' Aw, are you scared? Don't worry! The cops will, uhm, come... and save ya! Well, except they don't find the mines before they find them, ya see? '' I watch her tearing up even more.

'' Was sollen wir jetzt tun? Er wird uns umbringen! '' (What now? He will kill us!) Whispers Lily while trying to control her erratic breathing. I look at her for a moment and lock my eyes then with the Joker's,

'' Nein wird er nicht. Wo würde denn der ganze Spaß bleiben wenn nur ein Paar Leute vor Angst schreien anstelle von einer ganzen Klasse? Er wartet bis einer aus Panik etwas dummes tut. Wegrennen, hysterisch werden, vielleicht in eine der Mienen treten. '' (No he won't. Where would be the fun if there are only a few people screaming in fear instead of a whole class? He's waiting for someone to do something stupid. Running away, getting hysteric, maybe step into one of the mines.) I don't bother to lower my voice and keep my eyes on him. I want him to hear what I think, that I know what he wants. I read the reports about him, saw him on TV. I think I can vaguely grasp what he is like. Most of his men point their guns at my head but I don't cut my eye contact with The Joker. My teeth grit, if I'm wrong in my guess, he'll shoot either me now, or my friends. He comes into my direction while signaling his man to put the guns down,

'' Ya got it ma lil' Rebel but yer takin' the fun. Yer not afraid of me. '' He sound's disappointed, pouting even. My eyes narrow a little more and I title my head at him,

'' I'm not easily frightened. '' He laughs loudly and kneels down to my height, so that he can look right into my eyes,

'' Well, kitten, we gotta change this then don't we? '' He asks in a dangerous voice that makes me shudder a moment. A few moments later, he cuts the ropes on my wrists and feet and 'accidentally' a little of my skin too and signals me to come with him. For a moment I think about ignoring but I can't risk that he kills one of my friends in his anger. With a sigh I stand up and walk after him while knocking some dirt off my cloths. He makes in front of the Bus a little bow and gestures for me to go in first. After we're both inside, he closes the doors.

As soon as the doors close behind me I look over my shoulder at my friends. Bonny's eyes show pure terror, her cheeks wet from tears but she's not curling up anymore. She scooted closer to Lily, or maybe Lily closed the distance, I can't say for sure. I didn't mean to frighten her like this, I just want to protect them.

 _Question is if anything I do here really helps them in the end or if I just give him a good reason to kill us_.

Lily has no tears in her eyes but I see her mouthing at me. _'Be careful'_ , I nod and offer a wink before turning back to the Joker. His eyes move from me to my friends and back, his fingers twitching and his grin seems to be a tad wider than before. Which isn't probably a good sign.

_A penny for his thoughts..._

I don't move as he comes closer, pulling a knife out of his pocket and holding it close to my face. I play with the thought to tell him to take that thing out of my face before I bash his in. After the stunt he pulled before I tend to be a little paranoid, but I find my body cramped with anger and nervousness. I may hate him considering what he did to my friends but he's not one of those guys that cross me on the street. He's dangerous, tactical, fast, brutal. He observes every move that I make and so he sees how I clench my hands to fists. He puts the knife back into his pocket and grabs my chin to force me to look at him. I narrow my eyes and bite deep into his hand before I can think about it. I taste the dirty leather of his gloves on my tongue but I know I bit enough to break his skin under the glove.

_If it bleeds you can kill it._

He smirks, glances down at his hand and punches me right in the face. I fall back and hit the ground hard with a loud thumb and a scream. Gritting my teeth I press my eyes close in the attempt to keep the pain down but another pained gasp escapes my lips as I hold my face in my hands, my body curling slightly. One hand moves to the back of my head to find out if I'm bleeding through I hit my head on a seat but except the feeling of dizziness and a few black spots in front of my eyes, I'm not hurt. Instead of getting up myself though, The Joker suddenly grabs me on my throat and pulls me up, holding me a few inches over the floor as if I'm a doll. My hands quickly warp around his arm to keep myself from chocking but I still feel how he presses most of the air our of my throat,

'' Ya know, being stupid's somethin' else than being rebellious. And yer clearly crossin' the line. '' I glare at him as good as I can and dig my nails deep into his wrists before pulling down so that instantly blood is drawn from thick scratches. Instead of letting go though, he only chuckles and crashes me into a seat. I scream out on the pain running through my neck and wheeze as the air finally can pass my now burning throat and reach my lungs. This time he allows me to get up myself. My legs are protesting and my head is hurting. I feel dizzy but try to brush it off,

'' If I'm dying here I at least can try to make sure my friends are safe. Nothing else matters. '' In one large step he's in front of me again, his hand wrapping tightly around my arm until I feel my bone protesting but at the same time his grip stabilizes me so that he can lean down to laugh at my face,

'' Dead ya can't protect anythin' kitten. Yer just a tiny lil' kitty tryin' so hard to protect but ya don't see that yer makin' it worse don't'cha? Ya think yer helping. Sweetheart believe me. _You. Don't. Help_. '' I grit my teeth and look to the side,

'' You're still in here with me aren't you. '' His laughter halts for a moment and silence falls over us. I look up at him again, my eyes narrowed,

'' As long as you're here, none of your goons will hurt my friends. '' I state and his grin widens again,

'' Not bad, ya got brain behind those pretty eyes. The kitten's a tigress after all. But..'' Suddenly the knife is back at my throat, pressing against my carotid artery,

'' If I kill ya now, what d'ya think happens to yer friends...'' His tongue moves swiftly over his bottom lip as he looks past me outside,

'' The left one's bawling her eyes out since we got into the bus.. maybe I start with her. Cutting off a couple of fingers, poking around in her eyes... The other one I leave for my goons. See what happens if I allow them to do what they want with her ass- '' Before he can finish, I crash my fist as hard across the face as I can, causing him to sway to the side. As soon as I see his cheek split open and bleeding under the paint I realize what I did and look down at my hand. A thousand thoughts run through my head, did I kill myself with that? Did I kill my friends? Did I sentence them to torture with that? Beneath those logical thoughts I feel a sick satisfaction. My knuckles ache a little but I know even if he seems resistant to pain, he felt that one. And one thing's for sure, the bastard deserves the pain. Slowly he regains his posture, a burning anger in his eyes.

'' Uh... Oops? ''

* * *

As soon as the doors shut close behind them we are shut off from the 2 people inside the bus. We can see their upper bodies through the windows but we can't hear what they say. Everyone watches how she looks back at Bonny and Lily a moment, it is no secret that she always only cared about those two, never about anyone else. Screams echo through the warehouse as the first hit falls and Angeline crashes against a seat and out of sight. We see her grabbing for the backrest to help herself up but the Joker is quicker and grabs her on her neck, sending another wave of shocked gasps through the crowd. As she tries to free herself he crashes her against another seat. As she carefully gets to her feet everyone sees that the hits to the head did a number on her already. Bonny's tears stop slowly as she watches with fear how her friend gets the beating of her life. Lily's teeth are grit, her hands curled to fists and her body trembling.

The Joker's henchmen watch the play in front of them with excitement in their eyes and a grin on their lips. 2 of them cheer as he holds the knife to her face and a wave of disbelieve and shock runs through the crowd as Angeline's eyes suddenly narrow dangerously and she crashes her fist into his face so that he stumbles back.

'' Bitte nicht...'' (Please no...) Lily breathes out as the Joker now looks at her with nothing else but burning anger.

'' She's as good as dead. '' One of the Joker's man says with glee in his voice.

'' Kill 'er Boss! '' A few people close their eyes, others watch like hypnotized what happens next.

* * *

I watch her taking a careful step back as I glare at her, my back tensing and my hands curled to fists, twitching to grab for one of my knifes or her throat or her hair or her eyes. Anything as long as I can make her scream in agony and curl and beg me to kill her with her fucking arrogant big mouth.

_Who does that little bitch think she is, hitting me like I'm one of those brats out there! I should skin her alive and nail her to the front of the bus! Or force her friends outside there to eat her fingers while she watches! Let my goons have their fucking way with both those girls right in front of her damn eyes! Oh she would laugh, she would laugh until her lungs burst, because I make sure she will!_

Instead of following any of the ideas in my mind I grin at her and grab a hold of her face, making sure to dig my fingers painfully into her jaw. This girls isn't afraid of death but she's just a girl after all, her mind is probably easier winded than the one of a fly.

'' Not too shabby for a girl. Not shabby at all. '' She stays in position but her eyes stay narrowed dangerously, not at all affected by the praise,

'' You keep your hands off my friends! I can hit better than that if you leave me no other choice! ''

'' Don't tempt me kitten. ''

'' I could say the same. ''

'' Yer a fighter huh lil' Rebel? I like that! '' She slaps my hand from her face,

'' What are you even doing here? As far as I know you live in Gotham. What could a guy like you want _here_. '' I look her over a moment, making sure to take in everything visible on her. Her eyes seem so challenging but there's something in them I can't identify. Like she's hiding something important.. But something in me makes me wonder about this girl. _She's not like her little friends, that's for sure. She's not such a little_ _sissy_ _. She's curious, like she has a thing for getting herself into danger. Maybe she's even attracted to it,_ _gets drawn to it._ _I_ _nteresting. The girl sure is cheeky, I even go so far to say she would maybe be a good challenge. It surely would make my boring stay here a little more interesting. I lick my bottom lip_ , grin at her and take a step closer. Her stance abruptly changes into defense and her glare sends exciting shivers down my spine, this country could be interesting after all,

'' What a stubborn lil' one ya are, ma lil' Rebel! '' I say and grab her chin to force her to look at me. She hisses at me and grabs my wrists, trying to get my hand away from her but I tighten my fingers, digging them into her flesh until she gasps and the anger is mixed with sweet pain. I'll make sure that there will be marks on her sweet, porcelain-like skin. I smirk at her while she opens her mouth to release a gasp, her eyes closed,

'' But to come back to your question, darlin', I'm in Germany 'cause some business I need to take care of. Ya know, getting some stuff, killin' a few guys... I'll not stay long, don't worry yer pretty head. '' Her squirming stops and in the same moment where she opens her eyes, she slaps my hand off her chin and kicks me in the stomach hard enough push me against a seat. A cough is ripped from my lungs because the impact knocks most air out of them. As I start laughing, she clenches her hands to fists so hard that her knuckles become white. Even if her fists are trembling of anger, her body is completely calm. As soon as I'm close up, she tries to slap me again but this time I catch her wrist and press tight enough for her to scream out. With her other hand she manages to grab my own wrist to dig her rather long and sharp nails into my skin but as she realizes that this isn't hurting me she releases her grip on me and lashes out at my eyes but luckily I manage to catch that wrist too. I squeeze both of them until I feel her bones aching.

* * *

The pain in my wrists forces me to my knees, the silent scream from before soon followed by another one. He hushes me and pulls me close up to him,

'' Where are yer claws now kitten. ''

'' Here they are, asshole! '' I headbutt him as hard as I can and finally his grip loosens enough for me to rip my arms free. I quickly gain distance to him and rub my aching wrists. He's laughing at me, at my silly attempt to hurt him.

'' Did no one ever tell you that it's rude to hurt a girl!? '' He wiggles his finger at me, closing the distance again,

'' This is a man's world kitten and if ya don't listen ya gotta expect to be spanked. ''

'' You're a prick! '' I hiss but wince barely visible as my hand brushes something behind me.

_Shit…I can't move back any further.._

I look behind me, I just got one step left before my back is pressed against the door in the middle of the bus. There is no way for me to escape, I can't just break open the doors. My eyes look outside the door. His goons wouldn't give me a chance to run, even if I wanted to. But running would be a bigger humiliation than standing through this. My head is pounding, my heart beats faster than before and right now I can't differ if it's because of the hate I feel for this arrogant man in front of me or if it's because of the pain that controls my body. I wince as suddenly both his hands hit the glass at each side of my head, capturing me between him and the door. I feel my hands trembling, he's too close. I hate this.

'' Back off! Don't come closer! '' My voice falters more than I wanted it to so that his smirk grows,

'' Or what? '' I want to push him off but as soon as he sees how I move my hands he catches them and hurls me past him across the bus so that I crash against the wall. Before my body can fall he grips me on my upper arms and keeps me still, shaking me slightly as he speaks,

'' See what I mean? I can do what I want and there's nothin' ya can do against it. '' I feel his hands trembling, his head twitches, his tongue flicks over his lip. I look into his eyes and a sudden wave of hopelessness washes over me. He's right, there's nothing I can do to knock him out or stop him from doing whatever he wants to do. He's not fighting me, he's playing with me. I hold my breathe, his eyes are brown at most parts but I see a tad green in them. For a moment the anger is replaced by interest, there's so much in his eyes that fascinates me. Without meaning to my voice lowers,

'' Just take a step back. '' His eyes narrow in a playful way as he leans his head down to me,

'' _Make me._ ''

_Okay, we both can play this game!_

'' How about a joke? '' I ask, a grin now stretching my own slightly dry lips,

'' Try yer luck, lil' Rebel. ''

'' What has badly green dyed hair and terrible pain in his lower region? '' I ask with a serious expression. Before he can think about it or react, my leg shoots up and hits the sensitive spot right between his legs. The pain forces him to his knees and he begins to laugh hysterically. My legs soon give out through he now stops supporting me and I lower to the ground in front of him.

* * *

'' Fuck, that hurts! '' A goon says as he watches his Boss lowering to the ground. Given the time the 2 people are inside the bus now, many students managed to stop their tears and calm down at least somewhat. The tense, however, remains in the air. It's an open secret that the Joker's playing with her, several of his goons discussed that in between their small fights. The question is, why is he playing with her? It may not hurt him as it should but she's not hesitating to hit him. The Joker's goons wondered quit a lot about that by now. The Joker never was famous for having a lot of patience and the only person he played with this long is the Batman. While the students on the ground still ponder about the answer, some of his goons have an idea what it could be. Before they arrived the Joker announced that Germany is probably the most boring trip that they ever will make and more likely the last one they make. He was not exactly a pleasant person to fly with those 12 hours. He even pushed one guy out of the helicopter because he was annoying him. Most of them know why they're there, for who they're there. But they don't know what's really behind that. Yet, his previous complaining now gives the idea that maybe he's looking for some kind of distraction. Something that makes their stay here a little more exciting. But if he wants to keep her for longer or if he plans on killing her within the next few minutes no one can tell. They were all prepared for a lot of hostages and killings in between their main reason to come here but no one expected such a situation with their first hostages.

'' I kinda start to like the girl. '' One of them says in his chuckle. The teenagers behind them stay quiet, Bonny and Lily exchange a glance. Angeline's risking her live to give them a chance to escape but if they make a wrong move or are caught in their attempt to get away, they will be shot on the spot. Lily shakes her head at Bonny and leans in closer,

'' Wenn sie so weiter macht wird er sie umbringen..'' (If she keeps that up he'll kill her..) Bonny nods her head, her teeth biting into her bottom lip in frustration. Angeline started this thing in the attempt to protect them and now she is beaten up to a point where she can't stand anymore. If the police doesn't arrive soon, who knows what happens. Lily's eyes move around, the other people in her class don't take their eyes off the small glance they still have on the 2 people in the bus. Through they moved to the floor we only see a small part of them, barely enough to see what they're doing. Most of them seem to be afraid for her live which is not exactly improving the fear Lily and Bonny already feel.

'' She'll die before she lands another hit at him. ''

'' Yeah? I bet he keeps her chained in there and sets the thing on fire. ''

'' No way man, he'll cut off something and rip out her heart like he did with that one guy at the bank. '' Some students shut their eyes close tightly at that mental picture. Right now Angeline's the only thing that keeps the Joker from killing them all, whatever she says to him keeps him distracted enough for the police to find them.

* * *

'' You like the joke? '' I ask grinning weakly, trying to force down the nausea. He looks at me and chuckles, his voice now not holding laughter but sounding rather normal compared to before.

'' Tell me yer name, ma lil' Rebel…'' I hesitate a moment, something tells me this is a bad idea. But I don't have enough energy left to fight, my body is aching, my head pounding, my sight spinning.. I need to keep him talking.

'' My name is Angeline…''

'' Well Angel, lemme ask ya somethin'- ''

'' I said Angeline, not Angel. '' I throw in but he simply ignores that,

'' Why are you risking yer butt to save the kids out there? '' I look at him surprised. That question is... civil. No teasing behind his voice, no humor in his eyes. Just interest.

'' Because they're my friends. ''

'' Yeah I got that part, what I mean is... what makes ya think they'd do the same for ya? ''

'' They wouldn't, at least I hope so. I'm not doing this just so that they can risk their lives at the next best opportunity. Was there never someone you wanted to protect? You're older than me and from a city that is famous for their... let's call it _interesting_ population. Surely you had someone you wanted save at some point in your life? '' He looks at me but doesn't answer. Like he's wondering how I can even think that he would ever care for someone else than himself. But as I said before, he's just a human that likes to make himself seem like a monster. We both look up as we hear sirens coming closer.

'' Looks like your game is over. '' I say, not looking at him.

_And I won._

'' Not yet, Angel. '' Right in that moment a loud explosion coming from outside the warehouse causes the people outside the bus to scream. I wince. The Joker grins at me,

'' See. Now, even them should have realized by now that they gotta be careful so I'd say I still have 15 minutes before they get in here..'' Before I can blink, his knife is back at my throat,

'' Still so reckless about losin' yer head? ''

'' No. '' In a heartbeat I jump forwards and press him to the ground, while that I manage to snatch the knife from him and hold it against his throat. To my surprise he's not moving under me. No attempt of his to stop me, to switch positions. He could easily flip me over, why isn't he?

'' Do it. '' His voice is low, daring. He wants me to cut him.

'' C'mon, what are you waitin' for! I _threatened_ yer friends, _cut off_ half yer cheek, _beat you_ against a seat! Where's that _anger from before!_ '' My eyes narrow, the blade faintly cutting his skin as I press it harder against his skin. Before I can make a decision, the doors of the warehouse break open and I hear voices filling the room. I hear cops calling for the Joker's men to lower their guns and release the hostages, I hear voices of relief and Joker's goons screaming for the cops to stay where they are. It's like the world's suddenly started moving again. As if it stopped as soon as I stepped into the bus with the man beneath me. I stay in my position, still playing with the thought to kill him. I'm not a murderer, never was. But I always swore if someone ever does what he did that I'd make him pay. But is killing my way of making him pay?

_Definitively not._

I toss the knife to the side and get off him but don't bother to slide away. His excitement soon changes into disappointment but he sits up quickly and titles his head at me,

'' I expected more. ''

'' I don't live to fulfill your expectations. '' He grins and nods. As we hear how the Joker's goons surrender as more cops flood the warehouse the Joker grabs a dirty piece of paper and a pencil out of his coat and scribbles something down. And suddenly he's close to me again, his lips over my ear and his hand shoving the paper into my palm before closing it with his other hand,

'' We're not done yet, lil' Rebel…'' The doors break open and the police tear him away from me, pulling and pushing the laughing psychopath into one of their cars while one of them slowly kneels down in front of me. I hear him asking me something but I can't understand him, the pressure on my ears makes this impossible. I clutch my fist tightly to my chest, my eyes wide and focused on whatever is in front of me.

_I didn't win this game... It didn't even begin yet..._

* * *


	2. Anyone Ordered A Clown?

Blankly I stare at the spot in front of me, the Joker's laughter still ringing through my ears. The officer that was kneeling in front of me just a few moments before is now gone, where he went I can't tell. But as soon as I hear how the Joker's laughter grows quiet and cars are speeding off I jump to my feet and run out of the warehouse. As I stop in front of the large doors my chest is rising and falling in strong beats, my head feels even dizzier and black spots are dancing in front of my eyes. But I need to see how they drive him away, need to see the car that holds the Joker in it disappearing. Maybe to assure that my friends are save, maybe to make sure all of this really happened. But the cool air in my face and the aching in my body soon convinces me that none of this was a dream. 

__The Joker of Gotham City is here, in Germany. He kidnapped my class, threatened my friends, fought me, humiliated me, tricked me, played with me and... And he gave me something._ _

My eyes move down to my hand that still clutches the dirty paper. I look around and find most cops busy taking care of the of the others so I open the crumbled paper. On it there's a phone number written in messy numbers. My eyes narrow. I quickly tuck the paper into my pocket as I hear footsteps coming closer and take a deep breathe. My hand moves to my cheek and as soon as my finger brushes the deep scar I flinch. I bet my hand that I need stitches for that one. My ribs hurt, my head is pounding like someone crashed me into a brick wall. Slowly I lower to my knees, my body finally able to relax enough for me to realize that I can't stand any longer. Soon I feel hands on me, voices urging me to one of the ambulances. A paramedic keeps my eyes open while flashing a light into it. I follow his instructions and, luckily, pass with a result that shows I don't need to visit a hospital. The cut on my cheek gets taken care of but doesn't require stitches. I want to push the hands off my body as they quickly work on the other injuries but don't feel the energy for it. I close my eyes and try to hold back the sick feeling I always have when people touch me. I hear them saying how lucky I was, that the damage could be a lot worse, that I could be dead now. As if I wouldn't know that myself. As if I'm not realizing what happened there. I hear the paramedic that took care of me say that I have to go to the hospital if my head gets worse or I need to throw up. I agree with a nod and accept the pain killer that he injects into my arm. Within seconds I feel how the medication numbs my body and mind. Silently I watch how the others in my class get each a psychological evaluation. Most of them will need help to get over what happened. The paramedic places a comforting hand on my shoulder and I offer a smile at him. He nods at me and leaves. As soon as I'm alone my thoughts start racing in my head. I call up the whole day in front of my eyes. It started so normal. I woke up at 6am and shut off my alarm that screeched at me to get up. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on my makeup and got dressed. I did my hair and ate a bowl of cereal before making my way to school where the bus waited that brought us to the Museum. I remember spending more time looking around and recalling what I learned online than actually listening to the guide. One of the guys got a warning for touching one of the artifacts. We drank a cup of coffee and I bought a bread as I saw squirrels outside. And then it all started. The bus, the kidnapping, the Joker. The beating, the pain, the humiliation. The hatred. This endless hate that I feel inside me.

I break out of my thoughts as 2 pairs of arms wrap around me and the coffee I got is knocked to the ground. Bonny and Lily cling only a moment to me before realizing that they could be hurting me. They look at me with release in their eyes but neither of them says anything. I cock my head to the side and offer a smile. These two are the only people on the world that I trust, that would stick with me no matter what. Deep inside I'm afraid that they will leave me at some point, I don't think I could stand losing them. But nothing is forever. Sooner or later every relationship, every friendship breaks because of something. You can only push that date away a little longer by fighting for the person you love. But it will never be a 'a whole life' thing. So I enjoy every minute with them as long as they still keep up with me. But I could have lost them today. It didn't take much, he would have killed us all if-

'' Danke. '' (Thank you) I raise my eyes and stare at them surprised. Lily smiles softly at me,

'' Ohne dich wären wir alle...'' (Without you we would all be...) She breaks off but Bonny agrees with a nod. I sigh and stand up but before I have the chance to say anything, let alone think of anything to say, an officer steps over to us and sends my friends away. Both of them seem unhappy about that but leave without complaining. The man explains to me that he has to take me to the police station for a small questioning. I grit my teeth but agree, it's not like I have another chance anyway. The officer leads me to his car and opens the door for me. He offers to help me as he sees me swaying a little from the medication but I decline that offer politely. He doesn't speak to me while we drive but the silence isn't as uncomfortable as it was the last time I was in a police car. As he leads me into a room with a table and 2 chairs he tells me that, what I did back there was a brave thing to do. He congratulates me that I risked my life. As if it was a sacrifice to keep everyone alive. As if I'm some hero. I accept the compliment but don't press it any further. After telling me that my mom was informed of my whereabouts and that soon a colleague of his will come to question me he leaves. No 10 minutes pass and the door opens and a thin, friendly looking woman enters the room. I didn't move from my position on the wall across the door since the officer left. The woman offers me a seat and a coffee. I accept both. She tells me her name and her position. As if that would make me her friend, as if that would change the dislike I feel for her the moment she entered the room.

The conversation is quick and formal. She doesn't dig into my feelings or asks if she can offer me anything. She questions my motives to step in front of the maniac, the things that we spoke about. She asks me why he didn't kill me the moment I hit him or stood up to him. As if I would know the answer to that. I hear a laughing in the back of my head. The medication is making it hard for me to focus but I keep a mask on my face, I have to. I refuse to show weakness to that woman. She's not interested in my story or in the things that happened. She wants me to tell her things she can use to lock him away for the rest of his life. I am not sure what she wants me to tell her but I answer honestly.

'' Hat er dir irgendetwas gegeben? '' (Did he hand you anything?) The laughter in my head grows and I blink, trying to make the mist in front of me go away.

_Not now..._

_' Oh but why not... It's getting really exciting, isn't it? '_

I shake my head and answer with a no. She seems disappointed but sighs then. The woman hands me a card with her name and phone number on it with the plead to call me if anything should come back to my mind that could help them or if I need help. Like she already expects him to break free soon and finish me off. I tuck the card away as she gives me a look and watch her leaving the room. For a few minutes I lean back in the chair and close my eyes, allowing the dizziness to take over my senses for a moment and the sick feeling to push to the front of my mind. I think about throwing up into the sink that's in here but decide against it. At least I hope that my stomach is fine with my decision.

_' What now? '_

_I don't know..._

I jump as I hear a gunshot going off outside, not far from the room I'm in. My head moves up and my eyes narrow, anger pushing the numbness back as my hands clench to fists.

_Don't tell me they brought him here. Don't tell me he's close to me again. I got enough of that selfish son of a bitch._

Slowly I stand up and walk to the door. I open it only a little bit to be able to look outside but right in that moment someone pushes past me, grabs me on my shoulder, kicks the door close and crashes me into the wall next to it. I feel the cold steel of a gun pressed against my jaw, the grip on my shoulder tightening. A surprised but amused snicker reaches my ear and I don't even need to look up to know who the person in front of me is.

'' Didn't think I see ya again that soon kitten. ''

'' How hard is it to just call me Angeline. Really it's not that complicated. ''

'' No need to get all nasty Angel. ''

'' It's _Angeline_ \- You know what? Forget it. Do you want to know what's really nasty though? Thanks to you I can spend a week in a bed! Thanks to you I probably get no peaceful minute anymore! Thanks to you the cops have me now in their data! That, Joker, is _nasty_! '' I push him off me and step away from the wall. He wiggles his eyebrows at me and grins,

'' Uh I love it when ya say my name. Do it again. ''

'' Fuck you. '' He opens his mouth to give a cocky response but laughs as I stumble back and have to support myself on the wall to not fall to my knees. The pain killer is taking over every sense in me. I breathe out heavy and look up at him only to see him close to me again, his finger brushing over the scar on my cheek. It was glued together and a patch is over it now. This time I don't flinch back, the numbness is also overpowering the disgust of another touch,

'' Why'd ya do that! ''

'' What? ''

'' Nurse it! It was pretty before ya let someone stitch it together. ''

'' It was an open wound that was caused by one of _your_ knifes. I don't even want to know inside of how many people that thing was already. If I'm interested in AIDS or Hepatitis, I can imagine more pleasant ways to get that. '' He thinks a moment and shrugs then, obviously accepting that as a reason. At a crash and loud voices outside he checks his gun again while I look at the door. I hear officers screaming, barking orders to find the man in front of me. I could run out and tell them where he is, it would be easy.

'' _Hmm,_ only have _two_ _bullets_ left. That's _one_ of the reasons why I always _use a_ __knife_ _! '' The Joker murmurs to himself while staring at the gun in his hand. I look around a moment, thinking of what to do now. I mean if I get caught talking to him again who knows what will happen. I should just leave and hope that this clings down by itself but I never had that much luck. So I either help him and run the risk to get caught while that or I run out of that door and tell the cops where he is.

_Right now he's still rather civil with me. He knows that I care for Bonny and Lily. If I hand him over he could hurt them._

With a dramatic sigh I ruffle through my hair what brings Joker's attention back to me. His eyes narrow and his hand closes tightly around my upper arm as he sees me walking to the door,

'' What's that gonna be when yer done? '' I glare up at him, my teeth bared in a hiss,

'' You'll see when I'm done. ''

'' Not for nothin' Angel but I don't exactly trust ya. '' I shrug his hand off and push him behind the door. Luckily that thing opens into the room so that he can hide behind it just perfectly. I give my hair another fix to make it look messy and act up some tears. As soon as I hear people crossing the door I rip it open and stumble outside, telling the officers that the Joker run towards the fire exit and that he's heavily armed. I fake my voice into fear and use the effect the medication have on me to get my body all shaken up. It is the perfect act if I might say so. After ordering me to run to the entrance and to be careful they run off to where I told them to. The Joker steps out of his hiding place and looks after them. He whistles impressed and leans his elbow on my shoulder,

'' Not bad. '' I offer a cheeky smirk and lean then down. I grab a slim knife out of my right boot and hold it in front of his face, my voice low and tired,

'' Do your best not to break it or use it on too many people because I really want it back without running the risk to catch... anything else really. '' He studies the black knife with the red blade closely and takes it with a smirk out of my hand, confuse only shortly playing in his intelligent but arrogant eyes,

'' Ya got that in there the whole time? '' I nod,

'' You're not the only danger I threw myself in front of. ''

'' Why didn't ya use it in the bus? ''

'' I was capable of handling you without it and I think a knife wouldn't have added to a good mood. ''

'' Handling me eh? '' I lick over my lips and look then into his eyes,

'' I better go now. Good luck with... whatever you're doing here. '' I turn and walk away but stop as I hear him talking behind me, not louder than before but clear. He wants me to hear what he says.

'' Don't worry, we'll see each other soon enough. Yer part of the business now. '' Another string anger runs through me but the medication is fogging my mind and numbing my body. I sigh and look at him over my shoulder. He sneers, he wants me to react angry. But I'm tired.

'' Lucky me. '' He's not stopping me this time as I walk down the hallway. My head is spinning but I can't say if it's because of the Joker or if the meds are in fault. I shake my head and walk a tad faster, sirens going of around me. As soon as I approach one officer, he grabs me on my arm and urges me to run out of the building. I run until I spot my mother a few meters away from the police station. She's talking to the cop that brought me here but as she spots me she runs up to me. The station is at lock down, people are waiting outside but luckily no reporters yet. But it's only a matter of time until they arrive. I see more people of my class, just a handful really. The others probably were taken to the hospital for further help. Still, how come no one interfered as I was with Joker? The station holds a lot of officers and most of them obviously search the building, someone should have gotten there. Someone should have shot him the moment he was seen with me. My mom pulls me into a tight hug, I hear from the sound of her voice that she starts crying, feel the wet tears on my skin because she presses her face into my neck. She tells me how glad she is that I'm alive, that I'm not hurt that bad and assures me that I'm safe now. I barely hear it. There's a pressure on my ears that's just not going away..

 _'_ _' I love a good challenge. '_ _'_

My eyes fall close but open in a beat as my mom suddenly slaps me, not hard enough to hurt me bad but enough to cause my cheek to get red. I look up into her face, the tears are still clinging to her cheeks, her eyes though are angry and hurt,

'' Was hast du dir dabei gedacht! Du hättest sterben können! '' (What where you thinking! You could have died!) I look up at her, my hand covering my cheek. The slap brought me back a little but not enough to really pay attention to her lecture. Yet, hearing someone finally tell me how reckless and suicidal what I did was makes me happy. People around me by now were far too focused on telling me how brave I was, no one considered screaming at me. It was stupid just as much as it may be brave. She's not pressing me to talk to her on our way home or trying to stop me as I shut myself away in my room the moment I enter my apartment. I look around in my room, it's getting dark by now but I don't want to turn on the light. In front of the mirror I stop and look at my reflection. My cloths are dirty with a mix of dust, blood and sweat. My hair is messy, my makeup ruined and my body trembling. With a sigh I change into a pair of sweats and a shirt and lay down on my bed... 

__' Well wasn't this day productive! '_ _

__Shut up._ _

__' Correct me if I'm wrong but you always wanted to be in real danger once. Your dream came true, you should be happy. '_ _

'' But it wasn't planned like that! '' I sit up and turn my head away from the voice. This wasn't supposed to happen, nothing of it. Not like that. 

_'_ _' Yer part of the business now. '_ _'_

__' Because your friends were there. So? You don't always get what you want, you need to learn to make compromises. '_ _

'' He could have killed them! Could have tortured them or let his goons rape them! I wanted to get into trouble but I never wanted them to be part of it! I wanted- '' A knock on my door interrupts me. My mom enters the room and takes her seat next to me on the bed. I know she wants me to tell her everything that happened and that I'm fine despite the smaller injuries. Which would be the truth, really. So I confirm her silent questions and tell her what happened. That the bus just stopped, that everyone was afraid and that he probably would have killed us if I wouldn't have done something. I know she's tempted to hit me again even though she never hit me before. She was worried and knows I'd do it again the next time, I don't blame her. I tell her that I tried to fight him in the bus but that he was too strong. That I tried to get his mind off the people outside the bus for as long as it took for the police to find us. I'm offered to stay out of school for some time and accept that. Most people won't show up for several weeks so I doubt we really do anything I need later. And maybe, if I give it some time, the rumors will cling down. Because there will be rumors and a lot of people probably will ask me about what happened or come up with the worst they can imagine. I just don't think I want to confront this right now.

 

_\- 1 month later -_

 

I returned to school a week ago as I heard that most of the others are back too. There are 2 that need constant psychological help, the girl that Joker threatened before we got into that bus and Clara, she was nice but I doubt that she'll return anytime soon. She had anxiety before and she missed school sometimes because of that. This probably was a whole new level for hell on earth for her. Bonny and Lily came by a lot as I stayed at home and told me about everything that happens right now so that I could prepare for the first day. As I stepped out of the bus that first day last week every eye seemed to be on me but only few talked to me. Some stopped by to congratulate me and to ask if I'm feeling alright again. Thankfully not many people were on my heels that wanted to know any details and those that were I told clearly that I probably can't tell them more than they already know from reports, magazines and the others in my class. Other than that, constant starring and whispering in my direction there was nothing big that happened. A couple of dicks tried to piss me off with the scar on my cheek but after I lashed out at one of them so that he's now got 3 of those marks they shut up and left me alone. I got detention for that but this time my teacher was nice with me. Instead of giving me work to do we talked. We do that sometimes. Talking while he should come up with some kind of punishment. I guess he's the only person in my school that really cares about his students. Thankfully, for now, there's 6 more weeks that I don't have to come back to school because of summer holidays. My friends and me celebrated the start of those 6 sweet weeks with a blunt and a pizza on a couple of old pipes that we have close to our school. We sometimes go there in between free periods or when holidays start or end. It's kind of a tradition by now. We talk about plans and wishes for the holidays, about things that are going on in school or our private lives. They don't talk much about what happened but as the weed is getting into our systems and our bodies slowly loose some of the tense Lily's the first one to ask me about how I'm doing. I know they would have asked me sooner but they also know that I wouldn't answer sober. Not like they want me to. I lean back and close my eyes, telling them about how I wanted to get into trouble once, how I planned for it to be the best kick I ever had. I also tell them how it was never anywhere near intended for them to be there too once this happens. I don't give them a chance to complain about what kind of fucked up wishes I have, maybe they don't even want to complain, they know me after all for some time now.

When I make my way home it's getting dark and most shops are closed down but the kiosk close to where I live still has open. I grab a bag of Haribo Smurfs, some chewing gum and new tobacco. The lady on the register doesn't ask for my ID as I want to pay, she never does. Most kiosk owners don't do. I stop before I exit the store as my eyes fall on a magazin with a face on the cover that is in my mind for the past weeks. The headline reads 'The Joker and his hostages'. Sounds like a bad movie title to me. I know the story's probably just as bad as the title but that doesn't change the fact that I turn and buy it.

My dogs greet me excited as soon as I enter the apartment. In the kitchen there's a note on the oven telling me that I don't have to take them for a walk anymore. I breathe out released, I really don't want to go out anymore, not today. My mom's still at work, she's got night shift. I'll be alone for around 5 more hours.

_That's good, I need to take my pills._

I watch my dogs lying down for a nap in the living room and allow my body to rest against the door for a moment, my head is buzzing, my hands shaking. I feel cold sweat running down my back as my vision blurs a moment and a wave panic grabs me. The pills are wearing off and that causes side effects to show up by now. I should have known better than to take less than normal.

_I guess this is what I get for mixing up 2 kind of medication..._

I push myself off the frame and get into my room where I toss my bag in one corner and my jacket into the basket for dirty laundry. I stretch, my muscles are sore, another side effect. With a sigh I get out of my shirt and pants and slip into an oversized black sweater with the Loony tunes printed on it. I look outside, it's almost completely dark but that's not unusual for 10pm in summer. I open a window and sit down on the sill. The air is cool and I still got time until my mom comes home so I can just as well sit here for a little bit. After sitting in silence for a few minutes I get up again, slowly this time to not anger the nausea in me again, close the window and kneel down in front of my Stereo-System. I shove a CD into the player that I filled with downloaded music and turn the volume up high. Most my neighbors are Turkish and spend half the year in Turkey so there's no one that bothers how loud it is. I crawl over the black carpet on my floor to my bed and life the mattress. I pull the plastic bag away from under it and grab the small yellow bottle that holds my pills. Sighing while listening to Welcome to the Jungle by Guns 'n Roses I fetch the water off my bed and gulp down 2 of the lightly blue pills. I sit back and close my eyes,

_They'll need about an hour to get into my blood, until that I can work on the laptop Bonny gave to me... But I don't want to move, my carpet's so warm and fluffy..._

The loud and intense bass causes my floor to vibrate softly. I smile and turn to my side, my eyes remaining closed until the song changes into Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC. At that point I stretch again and rise from my bed to grab the glasses I only use for this kind of work and the old Laptop of Bonny. I'm pretty good at this so I repair the stuff of people I like, which is basically just Lily, Bonny and my mom. They get their things back repaired for free and I have something to do. Carefully I place it on my floor, grab a small toolbox and place it next to the broken laptop. Out of some reason it's shutting off by itself all the time, especially if longer used. I guess it's either the HDD or the cooling system. After all that thing's 13 years old and her dad used it for work sometimes. I open the back and check the cooling system. I soon see the tons of dirt and dust on it so I take it out and clean it with Q-tips and a soft facial tissue. In the background I absently hear the songs switching, singing along to every one of them. I reinstall the cooling system, close the back and press the power button to check what she got in her files. I soon find a virus that she probably got herself with her last music download, in her internet history I find a website I warned her about. I roll my eyes and send her a text that says that, if she ever ignores my warning about a website again and her laptop breaks, I'll toss it out of the window. A smirk forms on my lips as I send the virus back to its rightful owner after giving it a bit more kick. Whoever made this sure didn't expect to ever be a victim of it. If he's good at this he shouldn't need more than 12 hours to get this off his PC. I grab a CD and install my security system on Bonny's laptop. I shut it off again and place my head in my hands, the pills start to work. My body's calm again, I can think clear and the voice in the back of my mind did finally stop. I feel the control over my body coming back to me.

'' _Something lately drives me crazy, has to do with how you make me. Struggle to get your attention, calling you brings apprehension.._.'' I sing along louder as it switches to Super Psycho Love by Simon Curtis. I jump to my feet and place the laptop on my windowsill, my own one next to it. I freeze in my position as the feeling of being watched claws on my back. I look outside the window casually, if someone's watching me I can't allow them to realize that I noticed them.

_But who should be watching me?_

My eyes move to the magazine on my bed, scanning the Joker's face. I quickly dismiss the thought again, that guy certainly wouldn't come look for me, way I heard it he's got other things to do. The piece of paper he gave me is in the same bag where my pills are. I held it in my hand every night the past month but never called the number on it. The closest I came was to type it into my keypad. He knows about my friends. If I would decide to contact him and he snaps he would kill them without any regret. Still, there's someone watching me. I turn off the music and want to move to my shoe but remember then that I gave my knife away. I clench my teeth and grab the scissors from the drawer of my bed table, pushing old homework and drawings aside while that. I need to focus, if it's a burglar then he might be armed, if I move to quick and let him know that I noticed him then he could shoot.

'' _Say you want me, say you need me, tear my heart out slow and bleed me.._.'' I keep the singing up, quieter this time. Then I hear it, my wardrobe door is opening. That's not making sense, what intruder would wait for me to notice him to attack? Better question, what kind of idiot would hide in my wardrobe? I grip the scissors tighter and turn on my heels, raising the blade, ready to strike. But before I can attack, a hand grasps my wrist and another hand presses against my chest, pushing me back until I hit the wall. The yelp of surprise and shock covered in a cough at the hard impact. The hand on my wrist has a strong enough grip on me that my hand loosens and the scissors drop from my palm. I raise my head at the person in front of me but my glare falters as I realize who the man in front of me is. He's grinning down at me, his tongue licking over his lip as a high-pitched chuckle comes out of his mouth.

'' Missed me _lil' Rebel_? ''

'' What are you doing here! ''

'' Checkin' if yer still alive. Checkin' if I want to keep ya like that. ''

'' I don't remember ever ordering a Clown as my caretaker. ''

'' Call it yer lucky day. I know you've been looking at my number that past month. ''

'' Bullshit. Why should I do that. ''

'' _Cause you want what I can give_. Yer the kitten that's so fascinated, so attracted to danger that yer willing to do anything to get rid of that nagging boredom in you. ''

'' You're awfully sure of yourself. And awfully wrong. I don't care what you could possibly offer me. I'm fine where I am now, thank you. There's the door, please leave my apartment. '' I rip my wrist out of his grasp and nod to the door. He's not moving from his position but his eyes move around the room, his grin twitching larger and smaller each few seconds. Like tics. I feel the hand on my chest that still presses me against the wall twitching here and now. I silently wonder if he's thinking as he stares at me with a deadly but amused look,

'' Why are you here. '' I repeat, my voice tensed. He pouts,

'' No call, no text. I really feel like we're on a fight here. '' Still no real answer. Maybe he just came by because he was bored, maybe it was an impulse. There's no Batman here, he probably needs something to fight with. But I'm not like the Batman, if he's looking for a substitute he's better off looking in a biker bar.

'' Don't talk like we're friends. '' I say after some hesitation and his pout changes into faked confusion and mocking hurt,

'' W _e're not_? '' My eyes narrow, the same burning anger that I felt in the bus coming up in me again.

'' You kidnapped me! '' My voice grows louder, my teeth grit,

'' You cut me! '' I push him back hard, slamming my palms into his chest,

'' You threatened me! '' Another push.

'' You threatened my friends! '' He's not backing away anymore, he's not even flinching as I hit him.

'' You beat me! Humiliated me! Hurt my friends! Frightened them! '' With each set my palms slam into his chest but he doesn't seem bothered by it. I'm doing exactly what he wants but I'm too deep in my rage to stop now.

'' And you think we're anywhere just close to friends!? ''

'' I think... you're _interested_ in me. '' His grin is making me sick. I feel the inner want to scratch out his eyes.

'' You're an arrogant pig! '' I curl my hand to a fist, ready to slam it into his nose. But if I hit him, he's going to hit back and we'll probably end up breaking something in our fight. My mom will be back in just a couple of hours. I need to get him out of here before she arrives.

'' Aw _c'mon_! It was just about to get _funny_! '' He exclaims disappointed. I rub my hands over my face, almost knocking off my glasses while that and sigh. I take them off my face and turn to place them on the ledge of my window. I think about telling him to get out but he probably wouldn't listen to me. So how do I get him out of here before my mom comes home?I could play along. Maybe he'll want to bring me somewhere, maybe he has something in mind that would make me the perfect replacement for Batman but he needs to get that from somewhere. I don't care what I have to do, as long as I get him out before my mom comes home.

'' _What's in that_? '' I turn around and freeze as I spot him with my pills in one hand, the bag in the other. Next to the medication there's pot, roaches, filters, papers, tobacco and a tiny box in the bag. My heart seems to drop in my chest. I want to scream at him to leave my stuff alone, to get out but my body's frozen. There's not one person on this earth that knows about those pills. And now the man that's famous for using people's weaknesses to destroy them knows about them. I feel fear creeping up my skin as he reads the info on the back of the bottle before looking at the different pills in it. I see him studying the 2 different medications. His face changes into surprise as he seems to realize what kind if pills he holds in his hand. He turns his head to me,

'' Anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers? Ya got BPD? '' My mouth opens as my eyes widen, I feel my body start to tremble. It feels like panic. Like I lost. I try to look threatening at him but I know without looking into a mirror that I don't seem threatening,

'' That's none of your business! Get out! Leave me alone! '' I want to push him again, push him until he's out. Maybe push him in front of a car.

_How could I be so reckless. Why couldn't I just shut my mouth close in that bus, why did I have to get his attention. He knows! He knows and he'll use it against me! That! My friends!_

He observes me but stays where he is. There's nothing in his eyes I can identify except the mock, nothing except the spitefulness. How can he even say so precise what those meds are for? How can he look at the pills and see what they are. They look all the same. While I seem to lose myself in the sudden coldness that pulls me in deeper, he looks through my bag, a grin coming up his face again. Within a heartbeat the fear is gone and anger surrounds me again.

_The meds should keep this down! I hate this! This is his fault! I could control it perfectly fine until he showed up and ruined it!_

I want to hurt him, I want to break his whole body. But I can't. I'm no match for him, he would kill me before I could actually cause any damage. Is that his plan? For a moment I wonder if he's doing all this on purpose. And then I wonder.. just how long is he already spying after me? If he knew about the pills, if he knew I'm taking something against whatever he thought it would be, then he could have planned this all along. Maybe he was even in here already and knows what they're for. What I need them for. And now he's here to use it against me, to break me, to burn me down. I grit my teeth and walk past him, my throat's dry. I need water. My feet move to the kitchen and stop in front of the fridge. I open it and grab for the bottle with lemon water. I hear him walking up behind me as I drink right from the bottle.

'' Y'know kiddo, those things don't always work. '' I give a hollow laugh and turn to look at him, my back leaning against the counter, my arm brushing the fridge.

'' They work good enough to keep me from hurting the people around me. They work good enough to keep my mom from sending me to a psychiatrist, because to her I seem normal enough. ''

'' Oh but what _fun_ is there in being _normal_? Sitting in school, going to work, watching TV... Nononono. _That_ , my dear lil' Rebel, _that's nothing_ for ya! '' Another dry chuckle comes from my mouth. Right now I'm not sure if he's complimenting me or playing with me.

'' What fun is there in sitting in a rubber cell, hugging yourself while drooling onto the floor because the meds they give you fog your mind enough to make you a brainless zombie. '' He smirks at me. My eyes move to the clock that's on our oven. My mom's probably already on her way home.

_When did time pass like that? How long was I sitting on that sill? I thought it was just a few minutes...!_

'' Look, you really need to go. ''

'' _What_ , ya don't want me to meet yer _mommy_? '' This time my eyes don't widen. I don't feel shocked that he knows the reason that I want him gone now.

'' How long have you been watching me. ''

'' Not long. Couple of nights maybe. I gotta say, I expected a bit more _girly_ _stuff_. Walking around at night, smoking and Videogames or comics. _Kids these days_... '' He gives a dramatic sigh but breaks out into loud laughter soon. So he's been watching me for some time now. I knew it, that makes the chance that's he's been in here already high.

'' Great. Murderer, psychopath, really bad Cosplayer and night-time stalker. Your hobbies are wonderful. Please get out now. ''

'' Hm... nope. I don't think I'll go just yet. ''

'' Last warning ringlet, get out. '' He smirks and comes way too close to me again,

'' Or _what_? You wanna repeat the scene we had last time? '' He's laughing at my face again. The same way he did in the bus. That's the last hint it takes to be assured in my thought from before. This is exactly what he wants. He wants me to try to fight him.

'' You go... or I repeat my joke from the bus, bitch. ''

'' You tryin' to make me leave or turn me on? '' I give him a look and growl,

'' Fucking hell... Just get out! You don't even have the right to be her! You fucking broke in! ''

'' Well, that's not completely- _yeah I broke in._ '' He admits with an almost childish innocence in his grin,

'' Wait... How did you get past my dogs? ''

'' Uh... To be honest kitten, I though bout poisoning the beast after they bit me. See, got marks all over my legs. '' He points down at his legs and I notice the part where his pants and even a bit of his sleeves are teared open and full of teeth marks that fit the ones of my dogs. There's a little blood on every mark. In the back of my mind I don't know if I should laugh at this or not but I breathe in sharp anyway, those look nasty. Not that I care, but still.

'' _Buuut_ , before ya grow all _tensed_ again, I didn't poison 'em. ''

'' I sure hope so! '' I exclaim loudly, my mouth formed to a slight 'O'.

'' Gave 'em some drugs though. Won't kill 'em but they stayed off my ass. '' I narrow my eyes at him and storm past him into the living room where I find them soundly asleep on the floor. I think about double checking but they're snoring so I breathe out released. I find Joker still standing in the kitchen when I turn, obviously waiting for me to say something. But in all honesty, I don't really know what to say right now. My eyes move down to one of the still bleeding marks on his legs. Luckily his pants are soaking that up so that it doesn't drop on my floor.

'' You should clean that up. '' I say finally after some silence. My arms crossing over my chest and my head titling to the side. Thanks to the pills my system is calm again by now. Even the hate for him is down.

'' Ya got water? '' I raise an eyebrow at that,

'' No I use a sand-shower. ''

'' So I'm at the Enterprise now. '' My face changes into surprise and a small smile tugs on the corners of my lips,

'' Not bad. ''

'' But you still need to go now. If my mom sees you we're both in trouble. '' This time I grab his sleeve and tug him along until we're at the door but before I can open it to push him out, his palm slaps against the door and he captures me between it and him,

'' Ya got BPD? ''

'' No I'm choleric. '' I answer quickly and try to open the door but he seems to be leaning against it with his hand, I can't get it open and I can't pull harder because I would have to lean back for that and through that into him. I really don't want that. I don't even want to be as close to him as I'm now but if I move away from the door he'll block it even more, I know he will.

'' Don't be so modest Angel. I bet yer both. '' I grit my teeth but force my body to relax. With slow moves I turn to face him but press my back against the door to keep as much distance between us as possible,

'' Look, how about that. I tell you about my brain, you tell me about your scars. Because sorry, _darling_ , but I don't buy the stories you told people. ''

'' What, do I look like a liar? ''

'' Yes. ''

'' Straight up, I like that. ''

'' You won't leave right. You'll stay until my mom comes to give me the heart attack of my life and leave then. ''

'' Pretty much, yep. '' I sigh and push past him. Seriously, what chance do I have to get him out of here.

'' You want to eat or drink something? Or... something to take care of the injuries? ''

'' Food's nice. And a bowl of water's enough. ''

'' Joker, if you want to drink water, you can ask for a glass. I know they call you 'Mad Dog' sometimes but you really don't have to live up to that. '' I flinch as he laughs suddenly loud enough to make my ears ring. I can't help myself but to laugh too, not loud though. I go back to the kitchen with him and point to the fridge,

'' Take what you want. Just don't make a mess. '' He looks around instead of going straight for the fridge, opening every cabin like he owns this place and stops a moment at the baking stuff my mother put away safely because there's flour and salt and stuff in it. I turn to the fridge to grab the Vegan Chocolate-milk out of it and drink a bit of it,

'' Don't even think about it. If you throw that flour at me we'll get in serious trouble. '' I say without even looking at him. I put the milk back into the fridge and close it with a soft kick. I turn to him, crossing my arms over my chest and lifting an eyebrow at him. He smirks but his hand drops from the package with the flour before closing the door. Just as I want to give him another warning to not make a mess, I hear how the light in the staircase flicker on. Every time someone uses that light it makes this loud clicking noise. My eyes widen and I quickly grab Joker just as he wants to open the fridge and pull him into my room.

'' Hey I wanted to- ''

'' I don't care what you want right now! My mom's going to come in any second! Hide somewhere! '' I look around, my room's small. There's no place for him to hide. Behind the door is too risky, under the bed's not enough space. The only option there is for him too hide is my wardrobe. He seems to get the same idea because he walks over to it and opens the door but I stop him before he can get it,

'' Are you crazy? You're bleeding and you're dirty! You'll get all my stuff to smell like you do! I have to hide you somewhere- '' In that moment I hear the front door opening and my mom calls out for me that she's home. Before any of us can say another word I push him into my wardrobe and close the door. My mom comes into my room only a few seconds later and asks if I can make something to eat for myself tonight because she just wants to take a shower and go to bed then. I nod with a smile and watch her leaving the room. I don't know for how long I stand in front of my wardrobe but as soon as I hear the shower turning on I jump to my door and shut it close. I breathe out released.

'' That was close...'' I mutter, not sure if it's to myself or to Joker. I look over my shoulder as I hear the doors to my wardrobe opening and watch Joker getting out, looking back at my cloths a moment,

'' Yer cloths smell nicely. ''

'' Wanna know how they smell like this? You can wash them. You know, with water and soap. It does real wonders and, I tell you a secret here... they even get their original color! Really! No blood left, no dirt or whatever else you got on it. It's all gone! '' With a laugh his hand suddenly moves to my head to ruffle my hair,

'' Blood got a nice smell too. '' He says.

'' I had my heart attack, now please leave. ''

'' I still didn't get my food. Or my bowl with water. '' I want to ask him if he's serious but I spare myself the breathe. I sigh and scratch over my head,

'' You okay with cereals and a coffee? I got chocolate milk and cola too. Or bread or pizza or fries... I think I'll make some fries. I want fries. ''

'' Sounds good to me. I'll take a coffee. '' I nod and get into the kitchen to put a lot of fries into the oven. While they bake I make 2 coffee and grab the chocolate milk out of the fridge. I carry the drinks into my room and place them on my bed table. Joker grabbed my laptop while I was gone and is now sprawled out on my bed. I feel my eye twitching at that but don't comment on it. Instead I walk out of the room again and return with a bowl of water, a washing-cloth he can use and a bandage. He pulls his shredded pants up to his knees and cleans the wound briefly. It doesn't really seem to interest him if it's clean or not. I watch in silence how he messily wraps the bandage around his leg, my arms crossed over my chest. As soon as he's done I get the bowl and cloth away. When I come back I sit down next to him and take my Laptop from his hands. There are a few things I have to take care of, homework from last week is one of them. After some time he sits up and looks around in my room similar to the way he did in the kitchen, opening everything he can and rustling through my stuff. I decide to ignore him, there's nothing he can find that's worse than the pills. After some time he comes back to the bed where he sees the Magazine with him on the cover. Out of the corner of my eye I see him picking it up and flipping around in the pages. I jump as he suddenly starts to laugh. I toss my laptop to the side and quickly cover his mouth,

'' Stop laughing you idiot! My mom will hear you! '' Laughing against my hands he wags the magazine around in my face and waits for me to take it. I look at him confused but accept it and start to read the report about him...

_ ' How it seems The Famous Clown Prince of Crime from Gotham City, The Joker, arch nemesis of the Batman and one of the most wanted men alive, has met his Soul mate. _

My mouth drops open in kind of a grin. I knew this is a shitty magazin but fuck, they really manage to outdo themselves with this! The Joker and some lover? Please. What kind of lover should that even be? Did he break into a mental facility after kidnapping us or-

'' No... fucking.. way..'' 

_ Only a few days after his arrival in Germany, The Joker and his henchmen abducted a class full of High School students who were on their way back to school from a museum trip. The teacher and several students later reported that they took a shortcut through a f_ _ o _ _rest where the criminals seemed to be waiting already. They stopped the bus and entered it where the Joker exclaimed that the bus is under their control now. _

_' ' They took our phones and told us to stay quiet. '' Explains the teacher of the cl_ _a_ _ss, Miss Amelia _ _ Kemper __(42). As the _ _ bus driver_ _, Mike _ _ Heidemann _ _ (63) attempted to escape the Joker stabbed out his eye on what he suffered from a heart attack.  _

_ The panic seemed to grow from then on, no one dared to move a finger as another goon started to drive the bus to an old warehouse. Before they arrived, one student stood up to the dangerous psychopath and got his attention off the other students. It seemed to be that moment that made others realize he's taken an interest in her which went so far that he spoke alone with her. _

_ '' She just.. wasn't afraid. They were fighting but she wasn't afraid, not even as he threatened to kill her. '' Miss Kemper explains further. The student herself refused to give any statement to this or to what they were talking about. _

_ Of course it is only normal to wonder if those two have met before at some point. Theories online even go as far to say that she knew about the kidnapping and made a deal with the murderer that allowed her to play the hero in his game. We don't know what she could have offered him in return but several ideas move to the direction that, maybe, the young woman and the Joker are secret lovers. As  _ _ unbelievable _ _ as it sounds in the beginning, the longer we thought about this, the more logical it sounded. No sane person in this age would be capable to do what she did except she knew it was going to happen eventually. Except she knew he was not going to hurt her bad. Because they discussed this. But, if they really are lovers, is she interested in him or in his fame?  _

_ In case we are mistaken, and for security of the girl, we decide to not reveal her identity. _

My eyes are wide and my mouth hangs open loosely as I read the small article over and over again. This is a joke. I'm dreaming or dead. I took too many pills and this is my hell.

'' Seems like that lady from church was right after all, I'm in hell. '' I say and get up. I grab a lighter, rip out the page with the article and burn it in a small metal box I have in my room. I burn old homework in there sometime and the fire alarm isn't working anymore since I took out the batteries after it went off the first time.

'' Well d'ya like _me_ or is it that yer after ma _fame_? '' My eyes move to him for a moment but I don't answer him. Slowly but surely I have the feeling I'm talking to a child, I see a mischievous sparkle in his eyes too that shows me he's positively enjoying the attention and the current situation. As soon as the fire destroyed every evidence that this paper ever existed I get to my feet and grab my laptop again,

'' Okay let's see... They have a website, let's take a look at that. I mean, how many really would want to see this? This Magazine came out today, I'm sure nobody's seen it… How many people could possibly be interested in you? '' He makes a loud noise of protest behind me,

'' Ya see, _that_ was rude. '' I click on the Article from the both of us and go down to the comments and as soon as my eyes stop on the number of comment I feel the urge to just fall over and go to sleep. Ignoring that the Joker's in my room, ignoring that within just a few hours there's over 20k comments on this article. Just fall asleep and the next time I get up this article never got out and the Joker was never here. The incident is toning down and soon no one remembers it.

'' Well, whole country hasn't seen it. _Yet_. '' He breaks out into laughter again and this time I don't shush him. Instead I run my fingers through my hair and release a sigh,

'' Great. Just fucking great. They'll never leave me alone again. I can just as well change school and move to another country. Dye my hair blond maybe and get a new identity. Probably I'll get a cat or two...''

'' What is it with girls and their way to dramatize everything? It's an article, get over it. '' I look at him and title my head to the side,

'' You really don't get this do you? I mean, of course you don't. You don't have anyone in your life. You don't have friends or a family. I know you don't, your reaction in the bus spoke for itself. But I have all that. It doesn't take much brain to figure out who I am. In school everyone's staring at me since that day and I know they won't stop anytime soon if they read this. ''

'' Didn't think yer the type of girl that cares bout what others think of ya. '' I shake my head,

'' Don't get me wrong at this, I don't care what they think. I just hate that they have to play this up like they do. It's not their life, it's mine. Even if what they write here would be true, it wouldn't be any of their business as long as I don't pull them into this. Granted, if this kidnapping really would have been planned then they would have the right to that. But it's not true and they have nothing to prove me otherwise. ''

'' That's how people work Angel. They make your business theirs. And you... you got yerself to be everybody's business the moment ya got up. Yer ma business now. '' The hint on flirtation he had before is completely covered in the way his voice drops. Not gentle but rough, dangerous. I look aside and silence fills the room.

'' I'll get the food. '' After what feels like an eternity I get off the bed and leave the room. I put the fries into a bowl salt them and go back to my room. Just as I walk past the bathroom I hear the shower turning off. A small sting of panic runs though me again but is soon gone. She wouldn't come in my room again if I tell her I'll go to sleep too now. I knock at the door, open it and wish her goodnight. She smiles at me and nods so I close the door again and go back to my room where I have Joker peeking out of my wardrobe as soon as I close the door.

'' She's not coming in here anymore. '' I place the fries on the bed next to him and watch him picking up a few of them and putting them eagerly in his mouth. I wonder how long it's ago that he ate something that isn't extremely disgusting. I heard his stomach protesting earlier, I wonder if he's been eating properly since he came to Germany.

'' Why the sudden kindness kitten? '' He asks after swallowing. I look at him serious, the faintest smirk on my lips as I lean close to him, my voice only a whisper,

'' I spiced the food with zyankali. It won't take long until it starts to work. I told you, I don't like it when people threaten my friends. It was the perfect deal, really. They get to you without problems, I get money and deleted from their data. '' I watch how his expression drops and he looks down at the fries. Silence consumes the room, I can almost hear the gears spinning in his head. I don't know if he believes me or not but I know that, for now at least, he's stunned into silence. I soon break out into loud laughter. Shaking my head I wave my hand around in a calming manner,

'' I'm joking relax, the food's fine. '' I prove it by taking a fry and putting it in my mouth, chewing and swallowing calmly. He stays quiet for another moment. Then, slowly, a small chuckle comes from his lips that soon grows into a loud, crazy laughter. I breathe out as I watch him shaking on the bed,

'' You fuckin' bitch! You totally had me! '' My grin grows wider as I wait for him to calm. When he does he goes back to the fries. He seems to enjoy them, he's not even mocking me, he's just eating. I title my head at him, right now I can actually bring myself to enjoy his presence. And ignoring the fact that he threatened my friends the encounter with him in the bus was quite interesting.

'' Tell me something about yourself. '' I say after a while, my voice losing the sharp edge.

'' Like what? ''

'' I don't know. I won't even try to ask for your name, I spare myself the breathe. What about you age or your favorite movie though? That's pretty basic. ''

'' _Hmm_... I like a couple of movies but don't have a favorite. '' I smile,

'' Then you haven't seen enough. ''

'' What's yours? ''

'' I've seen too many probably. But if I have to pick I'd say V for Vendetta, Silence of the Lambs and The Devil Wears Prada. ''

'' Never seen any of 'em. I watched a couple of minutes of Silence of the Lambs though, looked good. ''

'' Really? Would you like to see them? I have them both on BluRay. ''

 

* * *

 

 

I look at her quietly a moment. I can't grasp how she works, one minute she's trying to kill me, next she's inviting me for a movie. What's going on in her head? I've seen a lot of fucked up teenagers but there's never been one like her, at least I haven't seen one like that. Granted, I didn't pay much attention to them before either. Only reason I'm here now is because I need something to keep my mind busy while I'm in this country. Still, there's something on her that's confusing. The BPD could be a cause for the mood swings but those meds she has are strong, they should suppress it, make her a drooling Zombie. Except there's something else with her, or something completely different. Maybe nothing of it. There's a hell lot of docs that randomly toss pills at whoever asks for them. I've been in Arkham enough to be familiar with all kinds of pills and what they're there for. They tested on me what they could to keep me at bay.

She stops moving suddenly. As if she only now realizes what she offered. I see worry crossing her eyes a moment but it dies down before it can really grow. The regret to have asked disappears and she looks at me, waiting for an answer maybe. I nod and watch her getting off the bed without another word. She moves to her TV that stands on a small dresser and switches it on before opening the dresser. In it on the lowest shelf are loads of BluRays stacked to the point where they touch the shelf above. On that one is on the left side a PS3 and on the right a Wii with a Wii U, between it remotes and controller. On the upper shelve are neatly ordered PS1, PS2, PS3, Wii and Wii U games. I watch her finger move over the BluRays a moment before realizing that they seem to be ordered by genre and FSK. Now that I think about it, her room seems messy but giving it a closer look it all has some kind of order in it. Her walls each have a different color, the largest one of them is white but covered in newspaper articles about riots, painters, or authors, black and white pictures of actors and in between all kind of quotes with their source beneath it. A smaller one is red with black diamonds over it. The other 2 are black. one with a large red Anarchy sign over it and a Guy Fawkes mask next to it, the smaller black wall is halfway covered in pictures of her and the 2 girls she tried to protect in the bus, animals or other happenings. The bed I'm sitting on is large and black but the covers remind more of the ones of a child. Some small black chubby girl with a blue thing on a beach and some cross-dresser girl on a horse followed by Chinese warriors.

'' That's Lilo and Stitch and Mulan. 2 of my favorite Disney movies. '' My eyes move from the colorful blankets and pillows back to her. She's looking at me, both movies in her hands. She hands them to me and I read the backside to find out about the plot of this V for Vendetta. I hand it back to her when I'm done and smirk,

'' Ya had me at 'brutal revenge'. '' I notice her suppressing a laugh but the small smile tugging on her lips gives her away. She puts Silence of the Lambs back where she pulled it out from and shoves the second DVD into her PS3. I watch her snatching the controller from its place and jumping back onto the bed, causing both of us to bounce up and down a little. The movie begins and she seems to instantly forget everything around her. She crosses her legs and grabs a pillow that she can press against her chest, her back leaning against the wall. For a moment I debate whether to watch her and pick another fight or to do what she does and focus on the movie. I decide to, for now, watch the movie. Thinking about it, it's a long time ago I was watching a movie with someone else next to me, I can't even remember the details anymore.

The movie's good, I understand why she likes it so much. When it's over and the main menu of her PS3 lights up the room so that it gets a tad brighter than before. The movie itself was, saved from the explosions, rather dark so the sudden light makes me cringe. Angel's by now lying on the bed instead of sitting, her legs slightly angled and leaning against the wall, her head brushing my hipbone. I grabbed a pillow myself somewhat into the movie and slid down on the bed, my feet hanging over the edge of the bed and the pillow in my neck, my hands on my stomach. Slowly she grabs for the controller and moves to the TV sign and selects Netflix. I laugh, that seems like her. Comics, Videogames, AC/DC, Netflix. Almost a little too predictable for her but kind of funny. I lean back a little more comfortable, I think this is the first time in what feels like years that I lie in a proper bed in a house that belongs to someone I didn't kill, who isn't afraid of me. I was in a hotel a couple of times but at that time I was hiding. I hadn't had a real home for years and that never bothered me but for this moment it feels comfortable to not lie with anticipation.

'' Do you plan on leaving at all today? '' She asks eventually but doesn't look at me. Instead she skips through several Shows and Movies. I cock my head to the side and look at her,

'' What, yer givin' me the chance to pick? '' Her eyes move to me a moment before focusing back on the TV. She shrugs,

'' I don't usually sleep at night when I've got holidays anyway. I stay up and watch something on Netflix or play Videogames so you can stay for a couple more hours as long as you don't criticize my pick in movies and TV shows. But you have to get out before my mom gets up. That would be in about 7 hours. '' I nod and grin,

'' So if I don't hate on your OTP I get to stay for Netflix and Chill. '' She gives me a surprised look, probably for my choice of words but laughs then,

'' Something like that, yeah. But if I say Netflix and Chill I mean Netflix and Chill not Netflix and Sex. ''

'' Pity. '' She shoves me, causing my head to slack into an uncomfortable angle. I groan and sit up but she doesn't move from her position. Instead she turns onto her back and looks up at me,

'' You watched Breaking Bad yet? I watched the first 3 Episodes, I could watch them again though. '' I shake my head and she nods before selecting the show but before she starts the first Episode, she turns and sits up on her knees to look at me properly,

'' So, how old are you? '' I title my head at her,

'' Why d'ya wanna know that? ''

'' Healthy human curiosity. ''

'' It stopped being healthy for ya some time ago Angel. '' She thinks about that a moment but nods then, shrugging. Instead of questioning me further she gives me a look, waiting for an answer.

'' How old d'ya think I am? ''

'' I'm bad at guessing. ''

'' I give ya 3 tries. Just don't say 40, please. '' She giggles sweetly, some of her dark red hair falling into her face but it doesn't seem to bother her as she looks up at me with a smile and her head titled to the side,

'' I would say... 27. '' I grin and shake my head. That wasn't a bad guess, but not quite right yet.

'' Keep guessing. ''

'' Too old or too young? '' She asks by the way.

'' First. '' Her eyes move over my body, her head titling to the side. She stops at my eyes, studying them closely. I look back at her and notice while that the slight green dot in each eye, close to her pupil. They've got a dark brown, almost black even but that could be the darkness and the makeup.

'' 26. ''

'' 24. '' Her mouth opens in disbelieve as she gives me a look,

'' No way. ''

'' Yes way. ''

'' I thought you'd be older. ''

'' What, 27 's old t'ya? ''

'' _Older_. I said older, not old. For me people get old when they turn 40. ''

'' _Kids_. ''

'' Oi you're just 7 years older than me, keep it low. '' I raise my arms in surrender and lean back against the bed, motioning her to press the play button already. I see the fire in her eyes to give any sarcastic remark but instead she takes her previous position and starts the Episode.

She kind of kicks me out after around 6 Episodes and more food. This took a different turn that intended. I more thought we would get into another fight instead of having some kind of movie-night like pals. Could be worse though.

 


	3. Carousel

* * *

As soon as Joker left I breathe out. He wasn't a bad 'guest', he was actually kind of easy to handle. He shut up, was interested in the show, ate the food I gave him without complaining that I don't have meat in my apartment and he made no move to wake my mom or give me any trouble. We talked, we argued, we fought but in the end he was... almost nice. I shake my head and move back to my bed. I grab my laptop and open up the article again. The comments under it is enough to make me feel sick. People use the internet to hate, to say the worst they come up with because they know they'll be getting away with it. Especially now, in this specific article. They insult and hate and share this and it doesn't seem to end. Every passing minute the page is shared and new comments come in. They have no proof that I'm his lover, they have nothing that could build up on that thought yet they beat me down like they have photos and videos that show that we are anything close to what they say. That we met before this incident. I can feel every muscle in me tightening, this isn't fair. This isn't right. I managed to, despite my way of handling my life, always stay invisible for everyone in this world. No one noticed me, no one wanted to. And now he shows up and ruins everything. I don't want to be seen, I don't want to be famous. I don't want people that don't know me talking about me like they know everything about me. My plan was to get some job I put up in that offers enough money to somewhat live, get into the largest, most ignorant city that exists and do what I do now. Eat my pills and live as good as I can, as exiting as I can. I never wanted for Joker to show up and pull me into this. I know how this is going to turn out. Some reporter wants to become something big and uses the current situation for his benefit. Somebody's going to come for me, find out who I am, make some pictures and write something that'll make his life great and ruin mine forever. Call it paranoid but I've seen stuff like this before. People do something for a good reason and get beaten down for it. I could maybe stand this, I could live with them hating me without any reason but they wouldn't ruin only my life. They'd ruin the life of everyone I love. My mom, Lily, Bonny, their families. They don't deserve this. Yes, I wanted an exciting life, but that was a dream that I never thought would be true because I never made sure it has the chance to become true. Everything I did, every wallet I stole, every fight I got into I always did careful enough to not get busted. But they're not only beating down me. Actually, most hate is directed towards Joker. Like they know him, like they have ever spoken a word to him. But he isn't this horrible monster they think he is. I know it, I've spoken to him. He was with me and he was alright. He's just different but that doesn't mean he's a monster. He's sick, a psychopathic murderer and he's arrogant but he isn't a freak or a monster.

For the first time in hours I look at my phone and find several missed calls from Bonny and Lily. They probably read the article and now they want to talk. I text a quick 'call you later' and grab my earphones. They're asleep now but they probably have their phones on loud just in case I decide to call them even though it's almost 5 AM. But I'm not in the mood for a heart to heart right now to be honest. With a sigh I grab the bag from under my bed and pull out a Joint. I think about going for a walk but I'm not sure Joker's gone now or not so I open the window and sit down on the ledge outside, closing the window as far as possible. I light the joint and allow the drug do once more numb my system. The weed doesn't affect my pills, it just relaxes me so I don't have to expect any side effects. I lean my head onto the stone of the wall and close my eyes, inhaling deeply. 

__What's wrong with me? I treated him like a friend. He was civil for now but the Joker's insane, he can snap any moment and kill me and everyone I care about just because he's bored._ _

My eyes are by now shut close tight enough to hurt. It feels like my mind is fighting me, splitting in 2 halves like I've got a split personality. One side wants to call the cops, the Batman, and get him away from me. To get him locket up so that I never have to see him again. The other side wants to dig deeper into this. He's got something on him, something magnetizing. Maybe it's the danger surrounding him, maybe it's his way of thinking. I don't know why but I want to keep the contact up. He was right, I'm interested in him, in what he projects. I feel like a farm girl meeting the City bad boy for the first time. I want the danger, I want the pain and the hate. I want all of it but at the same time I don't want people to get hurt because of me. But I'm not stupid, I know I can't have both. And if I don't make my decision soon, I feel like I will lose the chance to choose at all. 

 

* * *

 

'' Tighter boys! Pull the ropes _tighter!_ '' I snarl, my fingers twitching around the knife in my palm. I scan the house we're in another time, it's big, fancy, filled with all kind of expensive stuff. It's so disgustingly typical for him. I grin at him, feeling my scars stretch until they feel like they would burst open but the pain left me years ago. There's no pain in a world of fun. My grin turns more insane and my eyes shine with sadistic thoughts, my mind wandering. Oh those opportunities! I could rip him apart, pack him up and send him to a kindergarten. Give those little brats and the idiots that work there the heart attack of their miserable lives! Loud laughter drowns the agonized screaming of the man in front of me. The ropes that tie him to the chair cut into his flesh by now, robbing him the ability to breathe properly. I want to see him squirm, I want to see his eyes plopping out of his head from the pressure. I want every bone in his body shattered. I take a step closer. The effect this one step has on the man makes my laughter grow louder, sharper. He's bawling, snot flowing out of his nose, his mouth wide open.

'' Please! Please please! I'm sorry! I swear I didn't know! I swear to god! ''

'' There's no god here for ya buddy, there's only the devil. ''

'' Please! I give you everything you want! Just leave me and my family alone! '' I cock my head to the side, this is getting better and better witch each second. The idea was to scare him a little and blow him then sky high but let's face it, this is the only opportunity I have for real fun. I'm not gonna let that pass so soon, I'll savor the moment. I give him a fake hurt look and kneel down to look into his eyes, my voice accusing,

'' Y'know, it's _boring_ here. Ye folks really had to run here? Show some sense of community and move somewhere more exciting next time will ya? Everything here 's so... _dull_. '' I look down at myself as my phone vibrates in my pocket. I fetch it out and see a text on the screen that causes my lips to form into a grin again, my tongue sliding over my bottom lip...

__ I want my knife back__ _. -Angel _

'' Well... let's say _almost_ everythin'...'' I say with a laugh and look a moment at those few words. I think she's warming up to me, or she's growing more pissed at me. I don't really care which one it is. I type in a quick answer and tuck the phone back into my pocket. An excited giggle escapes my lips and I turn to look at the new workers. Well, some are new, some are old. Not old of age, they joined shortly after I first came up. I see how Steve gives me a questioning but careful look. He's a cute one, always worried, always trying to keep my mood at the best to keep me from killing anyone. It doesn't work but seeing him try is funny, seeing him shatter bit by bit. Like a battered housewives , just not as annoying. He knows his place. 

__Sure he does, he was beaten into it often enough._ _

Doesn't mean he can't knock a couple of heads together though. I wouldn't keep him if he couldn't do that. The guys that I took with me all have some kind of quality. I wouldn't let some idiots know where my hideout is. Just cause they're working for me doesn't mean I let them stay at my place for nothing. That's why I never have more than 11 people around me. Enough in case I need to make a fast disappearance and enough for what I'm here for. No need to have muscles without brain around me. My eyes move back to the man in front of me, he's turning purple by now.

'' Well, _that's a new one_. Trouble breathing buddy? ''

'' I-I swear… I do-don't… I don't kn-know any-anything about this! P-please! Let me go! '' I laugh and shake my head, putting one hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort,

'' No no _no no no!_ You're not gettin' away, uh _, from 'ere_! Hey, hey, now shush. You wanted to know what's with yer family right? Still wanna know? '' He looks at me, I see panic filling his dying eyes. He's got not much left, I can see that. Gotta enjoy this while I still can. He forces his voice to grow as loud and steady as he can,

'' Please don't hurt them! My boy's just a kid, he's hasn't seen the world yet. Please don't hurt them! '' I frown at him and raise my arms in question,

'' Now what kind of person d'ya think I am! Do _I_ look like I could hurt the kid of a loving parent? What, _do I?_ '' He doesn't answer me, too afraid to say the wrong thing. I chuckle and pat his cheek,

'' _Yeah that's right I do_. Well, _cheer up,_ he's still kicking. Against restrains _but_ kicking! '' I see the smallest bit of hope in his eyes,

'' My... my wife... Is she- ''

'' Well, I dunno if my guys are done with 'er yet... I could knock and ask, which one's the room with the bed again?- '' I look behind me to the many doors but turn my head back as I hear him giving a shocked scream.

'' _What?_ Was it something I said? '' I know what he's thinking about. That's good. He doesn't need to know they're both long dead and cold in the next room. The more fear the better. I sigh as I see him bawling even more than before.

'' Well, so much to 'the man protects his wife' _._ Yer really a _disgrace_ to that _stereotype._ Shh sh sh shhh... Now don't cry, yer taking all my fun! _Hey_ , wanna know... _how I got these scars_? '' I point at my scars and for the faintest moment I see confuse in his eyes but he's not answering me. I shrug my shoulders,

'' I take that as a 'yes' then, 'kay? Y'know, there was this _girl,_ back in High School. _Beautiful thing!_ I really liked her. All the boys liked her, wanted her. Hormones, _you know what I mean_. Never looked at us though. Now I was this quiet kid at school, only lookin' at her here and now but never brave enough to speak to her. Then… _one night_... I followed her home, climbed in through her window. _Watched her sleep._ She woke up and started screaming! Called me a _freak_ and a _stalker,_ said I was boring and that she only liked the funny typ 'a guy, y'know? So I did this to myself, ri _ght in fro_ nt of her. To show 'er I can change, for her! She tried to run but I grabbed her. Snapped her neck _so that she couldn't run anymore_. But she was still _so_ beautiful. '' The man looks with panic at me, tears in his eyes and trembling like I just cut of his balls and threatened him to make him eat them. I grin at him, both my hands cupping his cheeks. I give him a nod and get then up. The others run out as soon as they see me heading for the exit. I look back at him another moment and wave him. I see his eyes widen, hear him screaming for me to not do this but I already have the detonator in my hand. Would be a waste to have all this nice gunpowder and gasoline here for nothing.

 

* * *

 

I turn to lie on my side and look at the text message. It says send, there's no going back now. But giving him my number doesn't mean I want closer contact yet. I really want my knife back and I can't exactly knock on his door and ask for it. This was my only choice. My mom never noticed that I had him over that night, which is good. She would kill me, literally. She would beat me to death. I close my eyes, maybe I should have waited. Or not text at all. I sigh, this really isn't easy. My mind's at war. I want to be selfish and ignore that this could hurt the people I love but it's not that easy. If I get involved with Joker and anger him he could kill them. My eyes snap open as I hear my phone going off.

 

__ Work. Call u later. -J _ _

 

_I doubt he means office work with that._

I sit up startled as I hear an explosion. Not loud enough for it to be close but it can't be that far away either. I quickly look out the window and see a large cloud of smoke and fire disappearing in thin air. That should be about 15 minutes away. I bite my tongue hard, I really shouldn't go there. I shouldn't try to find out what he's doing here. But I can't help the curiosity. A man like The Joker doesn't just come here for one little murder. I need to find out why he's here and I think finding out who he killed might help. My mom's still at work, she won't even know that I went there. I slip into my worn out Converse and start running into the direction for as long as there's still smoke. As I get closer the smoke is out of sight but I still know the vague direction. Around the next corner I already see several ambulances, cops and firefighters taming the last flames. The Joker's probably already long gone. I wince as I hear my phone ringing. I look at the display, it's Joker. I think about answering but then he'd hear the noises in the background. He would know where I am. I slip my phone back into my pocket and get a little closer. I see a reporter, hear her saying the names of the family that was killed. I knew them, well, I knew their son. I met him at the park once not long ago. He was an addict to LSD that time. As I saw him at the park I offered help, asked if I should get an ambulance but he refused. Told me his dad would kill him, that he's only focused on work. I talked to him a couple hours, made sure he has water and doesn't pass out. Just because he's a guy doesn't mean no one would rape him. I got him home but his dad caught us. I could get away before he called the cops on me but he send his son, Alexander was it I think, into rehab. I never saw him again.

I watch the cops securing the area and sending away the noisy crowd. But I don't stay long enough to watch them getting out the bodies. My hand goes to my pocket to pull out a cigarette. This time my steps are slow while I make my way home, smoking calmly. What reason could he have for killing those guys? I know they're from Gotham but they moved here years ago. He could have come for them sooner if he'd held a grudge. I know Alex's father was a politician in Gotham, he kept almost the same job here in Germany.

_I think I'll Google him. Maybe I find out what he did in Gotham that makes Joker come the long way over here just to kill him._

Just as I stop a moment to put out my cigarette and toss it into the trash, a black van stops next to me. I blow out the last breathe of smoke and watch the door open up. Really, I don't know how people in Gotham see that but here a black Van is the worst car they could have picked. White maybe. People wouldn't look two times at it if it was white. For a moment I expect Joker to be inside but the man in front of me isn't him, definitively. Joker's thinner than that guy even if that's hard to see under the jacket. I was a little surprised as he took it off at my place. He was always smaller than Batman but to be fair, everyone is smaller than the Batman. The man in front of me is around 6ft, brown eyes, black short hair and tanned skin. I can see several tattoos on his arms and the look on his face really isn't the most pleasant one. He could use a bath too. I narrow my eyes but take a step back. He's wearing a Clown Mask, plastic with small bits of purple hair and a sad blue mouth with crying eyes.

'' Get in the car. '' His voice is rough, angry almost. I cross my arms and give him a cold look,

'' Hello to you too. ''

'' I said get in. '' My teeth grit as he pulls out a gun. He doesn't need to point it at me for me to realize that he really is angry. I don't know if he just doesn't like it to have to pick me up to get me to Joker or if he's had a bad day but I don't think it would be smart to anger him. Joker maybe doesn't want me killed but that doesn't mean he wouldn't let that guy shoot my leg. 

'' No need to threaten me Rambo. '' I say while getting in. I sit close to the door, if I have to I jump out and make a run for it when we stop at a red light. He growls and aims at me again,

'' Shut up! ''

'' Asshole..'' I mutter quietly under my breathe but lean back in the seat, allowing my eyes to move around. The man at the front that's driving this thing is a dirty blond, he has no mask attached to his face. Probably for the better, if people see him they would call the cops on him sooner that he can say 'Batman'. I see part of his face in the mirror, he's got blue eyes, sharp cheekbones. He's actually really handsome. His eyes meet mine for a moment, they're cold but not as angry as the ones of the man across from me. I like him a lot more already. But I think that's more because he's not screaming or pointing anything at me. I offer a smile but his eyes move back to the street without reacting to it.

'' If Joker wants something from me, why didn't he come by himself? ''

'' I told you to shut up, didn't I?! '' I roll my eyes,

'' Geez… Calm down, chill your base, smoke some weed. It was just a question. ''

'' Watch your tongue little girl! I don't care that the boss got his hots for you, I can't stand you! ''

'' What, jealous that he likes _me_ and not _you_? You know, having a crush on your Boss never works out well. Imagine if you break up. You'd have to see him every day. To that comes that I don't think he'd make the best boyfriend material but that's just my opinion. '' I shrug but look at him with sharp eyes. I don't know if he has a crush or if he just doesn't like the idea to have to drive me around but it's not exactly my fault. I didn't call and ask for a ride, I just said I want my knife back.

'' Shut the fuck up or I fucking kill you! '' He suddenly roars and takes a rather cheap, ugly pocket knife out of his pocket. It looks just as used as the one Joker had in the bus. I narrow my eyes at him but before anyone can make a move, the driver speaks up,

'' Put that thing away dude! The Boss will kill you if you hurt his girl! ''

'' I'm sorry _whose_ girl? Do I have some kind of print on my forehead 'Joker's property'?! '' I snap at the man in front who shrugs but his voice isn't getting louder, it's almost polite,

'' The Boss told us not to touch you. I'm just sticking to orders. '' The driver continues. I smirk at that and wiggle my eyebrows provocative at the man in front of me. His knife instantly is in front of my face,

'' Don't press your luck! '' I sneer at him and shove the blade away with my pointing finger while sitting up straight, looking as arrogant as I can,

'' Or what? You will slit my throat? Do you really want to anger your Boss like that? Because I don't think you do. '' I hear the driver-clown biting back a laugh and smirk with a lot of self-assurance, cocking my head to the side. My grin drops as the guy suddenly lashes out at me, screaming in anger.

'' You fucking bitch! '' I dodge the blade but slide down the seat.

'' Stop it you stupid asshole, you're getting both of us killed with that! '' The driver screams but the man above me doesn't seem to care. I really want my knife right now. That's what I got it for! I press my back against the ground and kick between his legs as the chance offers itself. He falls back with a groan and I use that chance to get to my feet. I make a move for the door but the guy grabs me on my hair and pulls me back, crashing me into the car wall, his hand around my throat. I lash out at his throat, leaving deep marks in his skin that instantly start bleeding. He screams in a mix of pain and anger but his grip gets weak enough for me to break free and I make another turn at the door. This time I'm not fast enough to dodge the attack and he cuts my upper arm open. I screech in pain but swing my foot into his face, stabilizing myself at the wall while that. Through the car stops in the same moment my foot makes contact with his face, he falls back hard against the seat. With a gasp I force my arm to keep working and rip open the door to jump out. I risk a look at my shoulder, the mark is deep, it's bleeding like hell and I have the feeling if I use the arm any more it could open up farther. The adrenaline that's pumping through my veins is probably the only thing that keeps me from going dizzy right now. With a look around I realize that I'm in the middle of a forest and in front of some large house. There are several of Jokers goons around me and every single one of them is looking at me. I press my hand onto the wound to stop the bleeding and run into the house. Joker told them not to kill me, right now he's the only chance on protection I have. If I run into the forest I could get lost easily. With my teeth grit I make a run for the doors of the house, maybe he's inside. The moment I turn to close the door, I see the guy that attacked me jumping out of the car. I shut the doors close and lock it by putting a broomstick between the handles. It won't keep them out long but maybe that's enough time for me to find the Joker. I turn and see a long hall with a dirty red carpet and many doors. The wallpaper hangs down on the most parts and it looks like there is mold too. With another whimper of pain I start looking into every room. I wince as I hear the men trying to break open the door. In most of the rooms are dirty mattresses lying on the ground, one room's full with gunpowder, guns and petrol. There's no sign of Joker. Suddenly the doors behind me break open and the man glares at me. I turn on my heels and make a run for the last door at the end of the corridor. Luckily it's not locked. I rush into the room and shut the door close. There's a lock, it won't keep them out long either though. My heart is pounding in my head, I yelp as I hear them trying to open the door. Slowly I move back, my hand pressing onto the wound on my shoulder again. It hurts like hell. I feel my body trembling at the pain, small tears prickle in my eyes. I feel a few drops of sweat running down my forehead.

'' _Now now,_ look what we got 'ere…'' I hear the Jokers voice say behind me and abruptly turn. I can't help but breathe out, feeling my body somewhat relaxing. I found him, that means I'm at least safer than before. I see him grinning at me as he comes closer but he stops dead in his tracks as he sees the blood on my cloths and the wound I'm desperately trying to cover. Joker's kinky glance changes into a hateful glare and with two steps he's in front of me, towering over me like a building. Without saying anything he roughly grabs my wrist and rips it away to look at the injury, simply pulling the skin apart. A scream of pain rips out of my lungs. I try to struggle free but he doesn't seem to care about that because his eyes are only getting more furious with each passing second.

'' _Who did that?_ '' He asks in a low growl, pushing me back until my back touches the door. I don't like the way he stands over me. Like a predator, ready to tear me to shreds. I open my mouth to answer but obviously I'm taking too much time for his liking because suddenly he punches the door next to my head, causing me to wince at both the loud noise right next to my ear and the fact that he could bash my face in if he'd wanted to. He may act playful and childish most of the time but behind that makeup The Joker is a very powerful and dominant man. And he's dangerous.

'' _Who_ did that?! '' He asks, his voice louder this time, growling. I press my back against the door, looking up into his eyes. It feels like they're burning right through my skull. His usual ticks reduce to a minimum but I feel his arm next to me twitching in anger. His normally slightly bend over back is completely straight but his head is titled down. I want to do something with my hands, push him off, tell him to stop looking like that at me but in the end they stay at my sides, my palms brushing the door behind me. They stopped kicking against it. I don't know if they're still looking for me or if they wait until I try to come out.

'' ...Let's just say, I argued with one of the guys you send to pick me up and he attacked me. '' I say carefully, silently, before moving away under him and going to the desk to gain some distance but he isn't granting me that. He's right behind me as soon as I turn, his hand tightly around my wrist,

'' _W_ _hat happened_ _._ '' It looks like he's about to snap every moment, his body trembles with suppressed anger, a shiver runs down my back. This isn't like in the bus. He's not playing, he's murderous. Bloodthirsty. I don't know if his anger really is directed to me or to the people out there. I'm just glad I'm not the guy that hurt me right now. On the other hand, thinking about it like that, he's not in here, I am.

'' Th-the one with that sad clown mask, the purple one. He was so angry the whole time so I started teasing him a little. I said he's jealous because you like me more than him. He attacked me but I managed to dodge most of the hits. As I tried to get out of the car, he hit me. '' He glares down at me but before he answers he turns and unlocks the door. I was right, as soon as it's unlocked, both men jump into the room but they stop dead in their tracks as they see Joker in front of me. The man that drove takes a step back but the other one stands his ground, the knife still in his hand which Joker abruptly spots. I bite my lip, this isn't going to end well.

'' B-Boss we-'' The driver tries to explain but Joker snaps at him,

'' I _believe_ I told ya _not_ to touch 'er, _didn't I_?! ''

'' We didn't do anything. '' I title my head at the guy that stabbed me. Joker's got the proof right in front of him, instead of lying he should be begging for mercy.

'' You fuckin' stabbed her! '' He roars and that's the point where I feel my heart beating faster again. I look past Joker at the driver, he's looking at the ground like a child. On the other hand, looking into Joker's eyes could just as well anger him more. I bite my lip, hoping Joker won't try to do anything to him. He tried to stop him, he can't blame him. But looking at how things are right now, the attitude the other guy gives Joker isn't exactly giving the man in front of me a better mood.

'' That bitch started it! ''

'' Shut up! '' The driver hisses under his breathe, his eyes moving slightly to his colleague. That's all it needs for Joker to start moving, his eyes burning, his back tensed. As I see that he's not going only for the guy that attacked me but for both of them I take a small step forwards,

'' It... it was my fault too...'' The man that drove gives me a surprised look but the other one keeps his eyes on Joker who doesn't even turn at my whisper,

'' That doesn't _matter!_ They ignored _ma order!_ '' Before I know what I'm doing, my feet drag me right behind Joker and my hand carefully grabs for his arm. This time he turns around, his eyes still having this frightening look of madness and anger in them. He's not even close to what he was like in the bus and to be honest it's scaring me a little. Still, if he kills the asshole that attacked me, he probably won't hesitate to kill the other one too. And he really didn't do anything to be murdered. So it's either both of them or none. I shake my head, my grip on his shirt tightening a bit to stop him from moving any closer to them,

'' Let them go... please. I'm not even hurt badly. '' This time the guy isn't trying to insult me. Of course he isn't, I'm saving his ass here. I stop myself from moving my eyes off Joker's. He grits his teeth at me and glances at the injury on my arm again. The pain didn't stop but my adrenaline is still pushing it all down a little. He glares back at the two scared men,

'' _Get out_ _!_ '' They don't waste a second to sprint out of the room. I breathe out as soon as the door is closed, my body finally relaxing a tad. Still, a wave of nervousness washes over me. I'm alone with him in this room and I'm hurt. The last time he was civil but I have nothing that guarantees me he's going to be this nice again. But even with that chance I feel safer now. He didn't only react like this because they violated his order, he reacted like this because I was hurt. That has to mean something.

'' Swing yer ass on that bed. We're gonna stitch that up. '' My eyes widen in a heartbeat. I can feel how every color runs out of my face as I look up at him,

'' Stitching as in... with a needle? ''

'' No Angel. I snap my fingers and yer gonna be fine. No one ever told ya I was at Hogwarts? ''

'' Funny. ''

'' Nah don't be so whiny. I'll be gentle with ya. ''

'' I.. don't think I really trust you. Especially not if it has anything to do with the meaning 'gentle'. '' He sighs dramatically and points at the cut,

'' Angel, yer lettin' me stitch that up or I'll poke around in it until you break down screamin' and cryin'. Your choice. Now get yer cute lil' ass over there to the bed and shut it. '' His voice lowers a little, giving it a more commanding sound. I sigh in defeat and walk over to the... hotel of germs dressed up as a bed... My lips curl in disgusted but I sit down on the edge. While Joker is in another room that seems to be a bathroom, I look around. It's not a big room but bigger that the others. There is a small dirty window behind the desk which looks like the poor thing never saw water in its life. The desk is covered in papers, guns and knifes. The wallpaper comes down at some parts or is even rotting off wholly.

'' Liking my room? '' Joker asks with a grin and sits down next to me, making me raise an eyebrow at him,

'' I've seen worse. Doesn't mean this is exactly good though. You know, a couple of hours work and this could actually be a nice place. '' I really saw worse. Nothing's worse than living in a small apartment in the middle of Berlin. The floors were smelling like piss and blood. I probably saw more cop cars in my childhood than any cop in his career. Even living on the street would be easier sometimes.

'' Good ya can do that. '' He says and takes a few things out of a first aid kid. Plasters, a bandage, scissors, a bottle. I eye the stuff a little skeptical but remain silent. The last thing I need is Joker getting angry again. He seems to be rather calm again, like he was in my room. My head titles to the side, my lips turning up in an amused smile,

'' You let me decorate your hideout? '' He smirks,

'' I trust ya that ya don't use pink or orange. ''

'' What? But those are my favorites! '' I don't even think I ever owned anything that's orange and if I did I probably gave it away. I break out of my thoughts with a yelp as I feel Joker tugging at my shirt to push it as far up as he can to have access to the wound. I gulp as I see the dirt in it and how red it is. The pain causes me t push off Joker's hand but he soon as a tight grip on me. He moves his fingers a moment over it, as if the dirt that's already in it wouldn't be enough. He seems to be looking at how deep it is and how he has to work the best that it can heal properly. I hiss at the burn of his finger on the raw skin.

'' I got some good and, _hehe, bad news_ for ya…'' I look at him nervously, mentally already deciding that I'm sure I don't want to hear it.

'' The _good_ one is, I don't have to stitch it up. The _bad_ one is, uh, the only thing I got to _disinfect_ it, is _rubbing alcohol_. '' I don't fail to see the amusement in his eyes about the situation. That sick son of a bitch is enjoying that. I'm too shocked to snap at him though and try to back off instead, laughing weakly,

'' You can so forget that! Don't even think about putting that stuff on my shoulder. I'm sensitive! '' He clicks with his tongue and grabs me before I have the chance to escape.

'' Sensitive? I call that chicken. ''

'' Just because you're a masochist doesn't mean I have to be one too! '' He sighs, seemingly in defeat and turns to put the alcohol away. I give him a skeptical look but slowly relax a little, I'm sure water will be enough to clean the wound, no need for that torture. Suddenly he throws himself at me but before I have the time to squeak in shock, he has me pinned to the bed, his knees securing my arms and his weight holding me down without much trouble. I growl and toss under him but that doesn't seem to bother him because he calmly grabs the alcohol and a rather clean cloth.

'' That's unfair! Get off me! ''

'' Shut up and count to ten or somethin' like that. '' He briefly says while pouring the alcohol onto the cloth and pushing my shirt out of the way.

''...Ten. '' He stops an inch above my skin to give me a look,

'' _Countin_ ' Angel. 's not that hard. '' I close my eyes and take a deep breathe,

'' One, two, three- eep! Shit! Four, five- Fuck! Six, Seven, eight- Ouch ouch ouch! Nine, ten- Ah there I said ten! Stop it! '' Finally able to push him off I sit up and lean my back against the wall, breathing out released as the, by now laughing, Joker takes the in alcohol soaked cloth off my shoulder and tosses it carelessly over his shoulder. I allow the burning pain in my shoulder to fade before eying the rug and give him a look,

'' You do realize that this exact behavior made the place become so dirty in the first play? ''

'' Weren't you in pain or somethin'. '' He murmurs while wrapping the bandage around my arm tight enough to keep it together but not too tight to hurt me.

'' I am... I think I need a plaster with doggies on it...'' My lips curl into a pout, giving him a kicked kitten look,

'' Ya want a kiss to make it better? '' He asks with a chuckle, a smart ass grin on his face. My eyes narrow but I don't answer him. Instead I push him with my foot off the bed. As soon as Joker lies flat on his back he starts to laugh, shaking on the ground,

'' I guess that was a 'no' then. ''

'' Pretty much, yes. '' He shrugs but makes no move to get off the floor. I close my eyes with a sigh,

'' I'm fucked. ''

'' How so? I didn't even touch ya. '' I open one eye so see him smirking at me.

'' How do I get home and past my mom without her noticing I've been hurt? Last time I got into a fight she told me I'll get house arrest the next time I start something. Even though it's not exactly my fault this time but I can't tell her that. I don't even want to know what I look like right now and don't get me started on the way I smell. -What are you doing…'' I shrink back slightly as Joker suddenly jumps to his feet and pushes his nose into the curve of my neck, sniffing at my skin,

'' Lil' bit trees, lots of strawberries, a lot of blood and… uh, well- ''

'' You. '' I finish with a groan. He smirks almost proudly and hums. I think about explaining that smelling like a homicidal psychopath is nothing good but shake it off,

'' Do you have a shirt I can borrow? '' Without answering he pulls a suitcase out from under the bed and opens it. There's not much normal cloths in it which tells me he mostly wears what he wears now. I could have guessed that one before but I thought even he would walk around in casual cloths when he's not out as the Joker. But thinking about it like that, I would say there's nothing else inside him than that. He's not someone else when he's out of that suit, he's always the Joker. Now that I really think about it, he's got nothing except himself. No secret identity, no hidden family, no friends, no one that cares about him or the other way around. The people out there are afraid of him, they're not his sidekicks, not his friends, they're just workers. Even if they accept him on a basic human interaction level, there's nothing more than that. My eyes narrow in a sudden wave of sympathy as I watch him looking for something he can give me to wear.

'' What? '' My eyes widen again as he notices me looking at him. Quickly I shake my head and offer a smile,

'' Nothing just… thinking. ''

'' Well, nothing will fit ya but I guess ya don't really care bout that. ''

'' Thank you. Uh… turn around? And no peeking. '' He grins in a way that makes me want to go somewhere else but I doubt you can lock that bathroom. With my teeth grit I pull my shirt over my head as soon as he's facing me with his back and grab for his shirt. I glare at his back but slips then into his shirt, closing my eyes as I pull the collar over my face. As soon as my eyes open I see him looking at me. I scream in both shock and surprise before glaring at him,

'' What the hell- '' I break off as I see him giving me a strange look. Before I can ask what his problem is, he lifts the shirt up to my ribcage, his eyes moving down to my side and in that moment I realize what he saw and my body freezes. Out of habit I try to flinch away but his hand grasps my arm to keep me in place. I try to get his hand away but as his grip on my arm tightens I stop the struggle. I'm not in the mood for another fight and he wouldn't just drop the subject.

'' Where did ya get that? '' I feel my chest tightening as his finger roughly rubs over the rather thick scar on my side. I don't look at it if I don't have to, it only brings back bad memories.

'' I... I fell into a glass table once, I was 9. And a piece of it got stuck in my skin. ''

'' Who pushed ya? '' His eyes meet mine but his finger remains on the scar, gliding over it in a steady beat as if he enjoys the feeling of it. I feel my defensive mode kicking in,

'' What makes you believe someone pushed me? ''

'' I know a thing or two about scars Angel. So, _who pushed you_? '' His voice is getting lower again, demanding, commanding. I want to look away but find myself forced to keep looking into his eyes. I don't want to tell him. It would give him the one thing that can still hurt me even if I don't want it to.

'' No one pushed me. I fell. I was playing and slipped. It was an accident. ''

'' Don't. Lie. To me. '' Suddenly his fingers dig into the skin of my jaw, pulling my face closer to his. My teeth are aching at how tight I press them onto each other. My eyes narrow in something similar to pain. As his fingers sink deeper into my skin and press the skin of my cheeks uncomfortably into my teeth I start to tremble,

'' My dad. '' I almost wince at how raspy my voice is but continue,

'' It was my dad. He was drunk and I was being an annoying child. Happy? '' He looks angry again, probably because I didn't react abruptly, spilled the whole story to him. I don't know. As soon as he releases me I look to the side but his voice soon rings through the room again,

'' My shirt suits ya but it would look better without _that._ '' He points at my pants with a somewhat serious expression and his eyebrow raised. I feel a blush creeping up my neck and tug the shirt lower, how can he jumps between those topics so fast?!

'' You're a pervert, you know that? '' I narrow my eyes as he starts laughing and push him but his laughter only grows louder. With a growl I turn on my heels and make my way to the door, ready to walk out. I stop a couple of steps in front of it and turn, my lip between my teeth,

'' Hey, can I ask you something? '' He gestures with his hand for me to ask away,

'' Where do you get that greasepaint? I mean, I don't really think you just buy it at the Halloween or the drugstore but if you do I'd like to take a picture of it so I don't have to make one. '' He cocks his head to the side in confuse, one eye narrowing slightly,

'' Make one? Why should ya do that? ''

'' Revenge for the kidnapping. I could make one but like that it would be easier and funnier considering it's true. -Maybe I'll add a pink makeup-bag to it though. ''

'' Thanks for tryin' to ruin ma reputation. ''

'' Well you got yourself into that. No kidnapping, no revenge. Easy. ''

'' Should have shot ya right away. ''

'' Yes I really pity you. '' He pushes me but I don't think he's angry.

'' C'mon, I'll show ya the place. '' He says and walks towards the door, I watch him walking past me and opening the door, a smile on my face,

'' You actually plan on having me here more often? ''

'' Like I said, yer part of the business now. '' Still smiling I follow him. The rooms are small and rotten. I catch myself silently wondering how they can consider living here. Leave alone that it's bad for your health, it's pretty disgusting as well. Maybe they're used to worse in Gotham, the city seems pretty dark and not only because of the people running around there. There's more self-called Vigilantes on the world but nothing is as dark as Gotham. The kitchen has a table and a couple of chairs around it next to some cabins, a sink, an oven with a stove above it and a fridge. There's not really mold here, not the black one. But the wallpapers are rotting off what gives everything an even worse look. I still think that it would only need a couple of hours work. New wallpapers, colors, a little cleaning. While Joker waits in the door I dare to peek into the fridge but close it quickly with a gag. No wonder people here are hungry. On the working surface's a coffee machine and a microwave.

_If I really come by more often I bring along some food. Maybe I convince Joker to send the driver from before to go color and wallpaper shopping with me. He seemed quite alright and I could never carry everything we'd have to buy. Let alone pay it._

We don't look through the rooms of his goons but he shows me a storage room that's filled with weapons, gasoline, dynamite, fireworks and pretty much everything he might need. The last stop is at the room I passed first. It's the biggest one. I don't know what this building was before but this room is as big as a movie theater. In the middle is a large table with chairs and a blackboard in front of it that was messily wiped clean. I see board games, books, magazines and cards on the table. They're probably entertaining themselves with that. There's also an old TV in front of a huge couch. Some of the men are sitting on it, wearing the kind of civil cloths I thought Joker would wear and watching a movie. They don't look as threatening right now as they did in the bus but I guess the lack of ripped, blood drenched clothing and makeup is bound to take some of that danger. They're all muscular though. The men that aren't watching TV or playing card games are training. Through one of the windows I see a couple outside, doing pushups or boxing. As soon as everyone notices us in the door they stop at what they're doing and look me up and down. The biggest one of them gives me a dirty look, I think that's the one I gave my death-glare as he screamed at me in the bus. To my surprise no one else of them looks at me with any real expression at all. No hate, anger, amuse, nothing that looks like a rape-face. Maybe it's because of the way Joker stands next to me, his arm around my waist and our sides touching. Almost protective but thinking about who the man next to me is, I'd rather call it possessive. I look to the side, silently wondering about how to react now. I think introducing myself wouldn't be that good of an idea. Joker takes me out of the room again but stops a few steps away from the door,

'' They _know that yer mine_ , they won't touch ya Princess. '' He whispers, his breathe tickling my ear. A shudder runs down my back but I take a step away, breaking the contact. He smirks at me, like he knows that I didn't exactly shudder of disgust like I'm supposed to. I narrow my eyes at him, my hands curling to fists,

'' I'm not yours! '' He wiggles his finger at me.

'' _Yet_. It'll change _._ ''

'' Trust me, it won't. '' I hiss through gritted teeth at him but an embarrassed blush creeps up on my neck. How can someone be so sure of himself. I wince as the tension suddenly breaks as my phone gives a 'Bing'. I lighten up the display and see the missed calls of my mom and the rather angry WhatsApp message asking me where the Hell I am. I curse and grin at Joker,

'' Can you drive me home? My mom's pissed cause I forgot to tell her I was kidnapped. Again. ''

'' How rude of you. '' He shoves me lightly but nods then to the door. We get into a rather small, old-looking car. The forest the house is hidden in is, opposite to what I thought, very familiar to me. It's a nature reserve only about half an hour away from Cologne. I've spent a lot of my time here, I still do. I didn't know there's a house here though. I heard of this reserve a couple of months after we moved from Berlin down to Cologne and since then I've been here a lot of times. Mostly alone but sometimes with Bonny and Lily. We never went that deep in though, there's been people lost in here already. At day you get through quite easy but as soon as it's dark it becomes a labyrinth. I wonder how Joker found this house, and who built it in the first place.

'' I know where we are. I'm here sometimes but not that deep into the forest. I mostly stay close to the street. ''

'' So ya know how to get here? '' He asks but only briefly glances at me.

'' Yeah, it's pretty easy when you know the bus line. ''

'' Good to know, that means ya can get 'ere on yer own then. '' I don't answer. Instead I sink back into my seat and look out of the window. As soon as we leave the safety of the forest I see Joker growing more careful. More controlled. He's a surprisingly good driver. He watches the lights, doesn't drive faster than he's supposed to, sets the signaler every time he turns. I eye the whole thing a little skeptical. He knows how to behave to not attract any attention.

'' You need better food. Real food would be a start. And someone that renovates the house. It's pretty and if you stay longer it's worth the work of a day. The men that work for you could do that probably. Peeling off and gluing on new wallpapers, maybe putting some color on them, cleaning the place and buying food. Maybe a blanket or two, a pillow and sheets. ''

'' I'll send a guy that takes ya shopping tomorrow. I'm out but I'm sure you'll manage your way around. ''

'' Wait what? ''

'' Ya know what to do, so do it. ''

'' I didn't mean that I'll do it. ''

'' Then why did you offer? ''

'' I didn't- You're doing it again! You try to get me to do what you want! ''

'' Worked the last time. And that time in the bus. ''

'' I didn't try to kill you, that's not exactly what you wanted. '' He grins but looks back at the street. I feel my jaw aching again and open my mouth widely to stretch my muscles. What kind of game is he playing here? He's not acting the way he acts with the Batman. I thought he was after a replacement, not something new.

'' Don't color the walls pink or orange in yer rage. ''

'' I will not renovate your hideout. ''

'' You get money. ''

'' Deal. '' He groans,

'' How can ya be so _easy-minded_ Angel. I thought yer better than that! Not everything's about money. ''

'' For you maybe. You don't have a mom or a, well, normal life. I do. And she's working her ass off to pay the bills. Least I can do is support her. I have jobs here and now but no one takes a freshly 17 years old and pays good. ''

'' Easy-minded and boring. _Why are you in here?_ ''

'' Because you _kidnapped_ me you insensible _asshole_! ''

'' _There it is_ ! _That's_ what I want! '' He suddenly yells, his body turning to me slightly, a wide grin on his face.

'' Then get it from someone else! I'm not your replacement for the Batman! ''

'' Who said yer a replacement? No. No no no, Angel. Yer not a replacement. Yer a new piece. Une nouvelle opportunité en direct! '' (A new opportunity in life) I title my head and point at him,

'' Je veux commencer à coups de pied votre âne! '' (I want to start kicking your ass) He laughs loud but shakes his head,

'' Must be _true love_ then. Didn't think it would go that fast. '' My eyes narrow again,

'' The only love you'll ever find is your hand. ''

'' Thinking about my hand a lot Angel? ''

'' Except it's slapping your face I don't care about it. ''

'' _Shot in the dark_ but I'd say ya got as much _sexual experience_ as an _infant_ so don't give me any talks about ma hand, lil' Rebel. '' My mouth opens in a scandalized manner,

'' How did this go from renovating an apartment to my sexual experience?! ''

'' Ya made it easy for me. Don't be shy, that makes things more fun for me anyway. ''

'' That's sexual harassment. '' I hiss and turn my head to look out of the window with a huff but look back at him for a moment to growl,

'' And just so that you know it I've had a boyfriend before, thank you very much! ''

'' Holding hands doesn't count. '' I feel my cheeks reddening a little of anger and kind of embarrassment but I don't feel the need to inform him about my status so I keep my mouth shut.

'' I didn't just hold hands, I wasn't 12. Aside from that it's none of your business and I'd like to change the subject. ''

'' Why, feeling shy? Humiliated? You could just- '' Before he can finish I make sure that there's no one in sight and grab then the wheel. I had some driving practice, I know how to make a circle. I spin the wheel 180° and the car makes a sharp circle, screeching as the tires slide over the ground. Joker crashes against the door of his car and I fall into his direction but stop myself in time. As he straightens again he looks at me in silence while I smirk with my eyes narrowed,

'' How about that bitch. '' He gives a quick 'heh' and suddenly throws himself at me. In my attempt to move away my back crashes against the door and my head hits the window. Adding that to the injuries I got since I met this guy really should be reason enough to look for the handle to open the door and run. But as his body suddenly leans over mine, his hands on the seat touching my hips and his face closer than ever, I find myself frozen with anxiety, nervousness and anticipation.

'' See that's what I mean. Ya have it in ya Angel. Just let it out. '' His voice isn't loud, it's quite even. No ticks in it. He's looking into my eyes, taking my ability to blink.

'' Let what out…''

'' The _true_ you. The _real_ one. Not the faked, concerned one. You _want_ this, _all of it_ . The _danger_ , the _fear_ , the _adrenaline_ . You wanna be _different_ than those boring people around ya that live their lives with a house, married and a kid or two. ''

'' I'm not like that. I'm different in some ways but nothing like you. And I never will be. '' He looks a little disappointed at my answer. Is he expecting me to agree with him? To just snap and do what he wants? To hit him? Kick him off me and scream? Maybe run away? I think in the end he's not seeing a replacement for the Batman in me, he wants to make me one. To my surprise he backs off and returns to his original position. I stay in my position a few seconds longer, my muscles are so cramped that they need time to loosen up a little. I slowly slide back into the seat as he starts driving again. Luckily that's a pretty abandoned street and there's barely anyone passing by. I look out of the window and bite my lip,

'' I can renovate. I did with the past few apartments we lived in and helped my friends with it. It was cheaper to do it myself as having my mom order someone to do it. I can cook too. I do it in my free time sometimes. I'm bad at baking though so don't expect a cake. ''

'' Ya ever killed someone with yer food? '' He asks soon. I shrug,

'' Well no, not yet at least. I burned myself a few times but that's pretty much it. ''

'' I would probably kill someone. '' He says with a grin. He would probably do that on purpose.

'' You can help me some time. I'll even buy a pink apron with orange letters, just for you.'' I laugh at the mental image of a pissed off Joker wearing an orange apron with 'Kiss the Cook' in orange letters printed on it.

'' The day yer seein' me in that's the day the world goes to hell. ''

'' Isn't it there already? '' I ask and he glances at me before nodding with a shrug, his lips twitching. We stop in front of my apartment building and I get out of the car. Before I can turn to say bye and close the door, I hear him getting out too.

'' You can't come up again, she's awake and waiting for me. ''

'' Just walkin' ya to the door. ''

'' Gentleman much? What a surprise. '' He smirks back at me and bows in front of me, pointing me to go first,

'' There's a lot I can surprise ya with. '' I pull out my keys and unlock the door but open it only a gape. I turn and give a halfhearted smile,

'' Thanks for getting me home and, you know, taking care of the injury…'' I shift a little awkwardly, not really knowing what to say now to the insane serial killer in front of me. Normally I should be afraid of him, disgusted even, but I'm not. Despite the sudden outbursts he has I somehow feel safe around him. Alone the way he reacted as that guy stabbed me is proof enough for me that I think I have a safe-card with him. He knew it was my fault and still he was furious. And the scar on my side, he looked angry as I told him. Maybe I should make sure he never finds out where my dad is. On the other hand, it's not like I could really do anything.

'' No problem-o. '' His ticks are back too, his tongue's clicking, getting me out of my thoughts. I look up at him and smile softly, my cheeks a little red because I'm tired,

'' Good Night- '' I stop as he suddenly leans down and kisses my cheek, his lips pressing against the scar of our first encounter. It healed quite well but it'll never really fade. I feel his scars touching my cheek a moment and shudder. He leans down to my ear but I hear the smirk in his voice,

'' _You know I'm right_ _._..'' Only the noise of him entering the car and driving away gets me to break out of the small trance. My eyes widen instantly and I run onto the street, looking after the car until it disappears around a corner and everything goes quiet around my. Slowly my hand comes up to cover my cheek,

_What have I done?_

 


	4. Casual Affair

I bolt upwards in my bed, the loud laughter still echoing in my ears, my heart pounding in my chest, my hands grabbing tightly onto the sheets beneath me. I look around but don't spot him close to me. The room is empty, not even my dogs are here. Slightly shaking from the dream, I swing my legs over the edge and walk with quick, unsteady steps to my wardrobe. It's empty. He's not here. My eyes close and I sink to my knees in front of it, my forehead pressing against the wood. Dreams have the power to make you see the worst, to be afraid of things you can control or deal with in real life. But having Joker haunting me in my dreams would probably scare everyone. He's not exactly Johnny Depp, he's not the person people want in their dreams. It felt all so real and yet it was distorted. His voice seemed to grow louder and quieter, like an echo. His laugh wrapped around me, I could feel his hands on my arms as they squeezed my bones and left marks on my skin. I remember the pain, I remember the warmth of the fire that burned behind us. It was my house. My apartment was on fire. I wanted to get in, get my family out but he held me back, forced me to watch. I remember the trembling in his body that the laughter caused as he pressed my back against his chest, one arm wrapping around my wait, the other hand grasping my chin tightly to force me to look at the fire,

_'' Just let it out. Allow it. ''_

It felt so real, my throat still feels raw from screaming. The way he leaned over me yesterday in the car, the way he changes from child to killer is, even though I'm used to sudden mood-swings, almost frightening. He's dangerous, even more than I thought in the beginning. I can't predict what he's going to do next and that's the worst. If at least I'd have an idea about what he's going to do next I could find a way to react but I can't. But despite all that I still get into contact with him. I had no choice, I was forced into the van but I fear that if I would have had a chance, I still would have gotten in. He's right, I want to be different. I want an interesting life, want to abandon rules and morals but just not like he does. Not quite. Slowly I pull myself up and shamble into the kitchen to get some cereals and a coffee. I give each my dogs a treat and pat their heads. I eat with some Netflix running in the background, cuddled up in my blanket and pillows. I check my phone but I didn't get any message except the one from my mom. It's the usual one she sends when she's leaving for longer than a night.

I left enough money for Pizza or fries but there's still food in the fridge and vegetables too. If something's the matter, call me or go to Lily and Bonny. Enjoy your holidays, see you in a week. -Mom

_Lily's still with her parents in Spain and Bonny's busy. I got nothing to do, I played every game a dozen times, read every comic a million times… I could watch Netflix and just relax a little…_ _Do nothing sounds like a wonderful idea. But maybe..._

I look down at my phone again. Joker said he's going to send someone to pick me up. Did he mean that? Because that would be something to keep me on my feet right now. If I stay in my room for too long I'll only get worse again but if I keep myself occupied I won't have the chance for that. I sigh and nibble on my cereals, my mind wandering back to Doctor Who...

As soon as I'm done with breakfast I check if I have to wash my hair but it's still okay so I get dressed in a pair of simple black pants, a Grey shirt with a cat on it and a thin, black jacket. I slip into my combat boots, put on some makeup and wash my hands another time. Before I leave the house I put my keys, phone, some money and my cigarets into my pockets. I don't usually carry bags or purses around with me. I take the bus to the store that sells colors and wallpapers. I got some money but long not enough to pay everything I need to buy so I sit down in front of the building and call Joker,

'' _What_?! '' I roll my eyes as I hear him barking aggressively at me and run my fingers through my hair,

'' Bad day? ''

'' _Angel_! _No. Yes. I dunno,_ _didn't decide yet_! _Hahahaha_! '' He breaks out in maniac giggling. I raise my eyebrow at that but shake it off with a smile,

'' Didn't you mention sending someone to take me shopping? Because I'm sitting at the color store but I don't have enough money for everything I need. '' A small pause.

'' Wow. I gotta say, I didn't think you actually do it. ''

'' My mom is gone for about a week. She's taking business trips here and now so she travels around in Germany. I got nothing else to do so I thought, why not. '' He hums, I hear the smirk in his voice,

'' I'm sending someone by. '' He ends the call without goodbye and I turn my phone to play 'Crossy Road' before anyone gets here. When I die the first time I pull out a cigarette and lighten it. Some time passes until a familiar van stops close to me and a man with dirty blond hair, blue eyes, a strong face and a well-trained body steps out. I narrow my eyes a moment, he's wearing jeans and a shirt but I recognize him on his eyes and the scar on his upper arm.

'' You're the driver from yesterday, aren't you? '' I get to my feet, take the last pull on my second cigarette and toss it then to the ground before stomping it out. He eyes me silently but there's not as much hatred in his eyes as in the ones of the other guy. He nods,

'' I'm here to take you shopping for…'' He trails off, obviously not even knowing what we're shopping. I point up at the sign of the building behind me,

'' Colors, wallpapers, blankets, pillows, sheets and real food. I mean, I don't know how long you'll be staying but the house you live in is rotten and a serious danger to your health. '' He raises an eyebrow but shrugs accepting,

'' I'm just tagging along. ''

'' Is the money stolen? '' He gives me a look and that's all on affirmation that I need. I didn't expect it to be somehow legally earned anyway but as long as no one notices we're paying with stolen money I can't say that I care much. With a nod I grab a cart and enter the store. The man silently walks after me, his hands in his pockets, his eyes wandering around in curiosity. I fill a whole cart with wallpapers and we both glance down at it,

'' Do you think we need more? ''

'' I dunno. ''

'' How big is the house? ''

'' No idea… around 400 sq. m. maybe? ''

'' So… there's 20 rolls of which each lasts for 10 sq. m. ''

'' We need another cart then. '' He states and crosses his arms over his chest. I nod,

'' And another for the colors. Can you get another cart and we just buy the wallpaper and come back in after we put it in the car? '' He nods, turns and returns with another cart a few moments later. We put in another 25, just to make sure and pay. After we put everything in the back of the Van we get back inside to put in buckets with color, brushes and a couple more colors to mix the colors. We only buy decent ones though. Gray, powder-blue, dark-sea-green and cadet-blue. For Joker's room I add purple though and I buy a small bucket with dark red in too. The man eyes that but isn't objecting in any way. The last thing we put in the cart are blankets, sheets and pillows and I swear I see some release in the guy's eyes. He does like sleeping clean then too even if he wouldn't admit it. I bite back the smile and look around another time. With a nod to myself I declare that this should be all and we make our way to the registers. After we pay another time and get an amused smile of the cashier lady we finally get to leave.

'' Next stop will be the for food then. If you still have money that means? '' He nods but I see him wince as his stomach starts to rumble. His hands grip the wheel tighter and he forces himself to look at the street. I laugh,

'' You are a lot more sympathic to me than the guy from before. '' He snorts annoyed,

'' Yeah we all hate him. Son of a Bitch thinks he can play Boss as long as J's gone. He's reckless and a fucking asshole. ''

'' Why would Joker keep him alive then? ''

'' Cause, asshole or not, he's a Doctor. And a genius one to that. Nobody's better. ''

'' I'm sure if he would put a little effort in it he could find someone better. ''

'' I think J soon will. Latest after the Boss hears how he's talking about ya, he'll kill 'im. '' I title my head to the side in confuse,

'' Why would Joker care if he insults me? ''

'' I dunno, really. Fact is, ya got the Boss on yer side. And if ya got the Boss on yer side, you're God. ''

'' You all really fear him. '' He huffs a laugh,

'' Ya haven't seen him in action. That's not a man sweetheart, that's a Monster in flesh and blood. He pays good, doesn't bother ya if you keep yer mouth shut and he allows us to pretty much do what we want. But if he's set to kill you, you can just as well end it yerself. Cause no matter how far you run, he'll always find you. '' I look at my lap, my voice a tad more silent now, my lip between my teeth a moment,

'' What does he want from me? ''

'' Who knows. '' I nod and look back outside the window.

'' Thanks for yesterday. '' I look at him surprised,

'' You're welcome. Really, I didn't think he would let you go just because I asked him to but I thought it would be worth a try. ''

'' Told ya, he's on your side. That's an advantage. You can have the guy killed. ''

'' What do you mean? ''

'' If I get this right, and I think I do, then all ya need is one word and the Boss will end the guy. ''

'' Why don't _you_ tell him about this? ''

'' Cause yer the interest and I'm the employee. '' A moment of silence passes. None of us really moving.

'' He's dangerous isn't he…''

'' More than ya could imagine. We all are but he's… different. '' My eyes close but I refuse to let a thought cross my mind. This isn't the time to grow afraid or to think about getting out. This isn't the time to allow the excitement to grow. I have to stay passive. I open them again as the car engine stops and we're in front of the grocery store. I grab another card and we both head inside. I put in pretty much everything that I find from canned food and frozen junk food to vegetables and fruits. I put in what I already used when I cooked or what I saw my mom use. Like before, the man follows suitably and eyes everything closely. I stop at some point and turn to him,

'' What do you like the most? ''

'' Nothing. ''

'' Oh come one! Everyone has a favorite food. ''

'' I don't. ''

'' I know that you're lying. I can see it in your eyes. '' I make sure to not blink. Sometimes it's easy for me to know if someone's lying to me but that's always more of a feeling than something I see. Shot in the dark but a good one because I see his defensive state easing a little.

'' Steak and mushrooms. '' I smile,

'' I have everything for that in the cart. Any dessert wish? '' He only grumbles something what sounds like 'pudding' but I'm not sure. I shrug my shoulders and put everything that looks like pudding and cakes into the cart. I add ice cream, chocolate and fruit gum and head to the register.

'' Somewhere else you have to go? '' He asks as soon as we're back in the car.

'' No, that's it. '' Wordlessly he drives back to the hideout. We don't talk most of the time but as we enter the forest I look at him again,

'' What's your name? ''

'' Steve. ''

'' Thank you for picking me up Steve, I'm Angeline. ''

'' The Boss told me to. '' I give him a look,

'' Ouch…'' He shrugs.

'' Where's he? ''

'' He's got something to do, I don't know what. ''

'' You're lying again. '' I state with a smirk. He glares at me,

'' I'm getting into trouble if I tell you. ''

'' I promise I won't tell him. '' Steve eyes my smile suspiciously but after a while he sighs,

'' He's getting something for you I think. ''

'' What? ''

'' I don't know, all he told me is that he wants to get something, I think it's for you. I don't know what though. '' I slide further into the seat and watch the trees passing by. As soon as the car stops and Steve turns off the engine, every eye seems to be on me. The men that stand outside stop in what they're doing, only few at least pretend to be still working out. I slide out of the car, my eyes moving around. The last time Joker was with me, the time before that I was busy with the injury on my arm. My hand instinctively moves to my shoulder so that I can rub over the scar.

'' Steve how many interests had Joker had already? '' I ask silently. I hear Steve stopping behind me, his voice strange,

'' Yer the first. '' I bite my lip and force myself to walk up next to him, focus on the things we bought. Before we can make up how we get everything in and where to put it, I look over my shoulder.

_They want to stare huh… Curiosity it is then._

'' Hey! Everyone! '' I raise my arm over my head in a wave. The ones that pretended to still do their own shit turn to me and the place becomes dead silent.

'' What are you doing? '' I hear Steve asking confused. I smirk,

'' I think most of you know who I am and why I'm here. If you know second, you probably know more than me. So the thing is, I thought, considering that you all kind of live here, that house could use some… renovation. So Steve and me here bought colors, wallpapers, blankets, pillows, sheets, and most importantly _food_. '' I take a step away from the car, allowing them to see the many bags of food. Within a second they all seem a lot more interested and a couple of them step closer. I take a deep breathe,

'' I take a guess and say you're all hungry. So how about a deal. You work with me on that and within 5 hours your place looks like a comfortable home that has food and beds you can actually sleep in. …This is a nature reserve around you. It's one of the cleanest and most untouched places in Germany. There will never be anyone coming close to this place so there's no reason to not get comfortable, no? You're not in Gotham, you're not on the run. People here aren't used to people like you. They're slow and never make connections to this place because there's no information about this house. '' For a long time they're just looking at me, none of them moving. I don't know if they'll laugh at me, shoot me or actually work here with me but fact is that if they help this will be done with a lot sooner. I hear Steve shifting behind me but I don't turn. Steve by now seems like a silent observer that has an opinion he doesn't talk about unless you ask. I almost wince as people around me start moving.

'' Hell, it's food. Fuck it. '' One of them says loud enough for everyone to hear and walks up to me. He stops in front of me a second, looking into my eyes. My eyes narrow as I look straight back at him. Without another word he grabs as much as he can carry and gets it inside. The others soon follow his example and carry the bags and colors inside.

'' You're good at talking, anyone told you that? '' Steve's voice rises as soon as everyone's inside. I tun and shrug, my muscles still tensed,

'' That's the only reason why I didn't go to jail yet. I wasn't a nice kid. ''

'' Killed someone? ''

'' _N_ _o_! I stole a lot. And fought. I don't kill. ''

'' Then maybe you're at the wrong place, honey. '' Another man behind me says. I recognize the voice, he's the man that screamed at me in the bus as I tried to calm Lily and Bonny. I turn to him and cross my arms,

'' It's not exactly like I have much of a choice, do I. I'm making the best of the situation. '' I walk past him and head straight for the kitchen. They placed the food here, everything else is in the corridor. This place needs a clean up but I think getting the old wallpapers off and everything that's behind it will make more dirt so first we get the walls done before everything else. I nod to myself and look around but as soon as I turn I see most men behind me, looking at me,

'' Tell us the plan. ''

'' I thought that first we could get these wallpapers off. I got everything we need in one of the bags. ''

'' Just cause yer fucking the Boss ain't meaning ye _are_ the Boss. '' I stop in my movements and look up at the guy that stabbed me. He's leaning against the door, glaring at me, his arms tightly crossed over his chest. My eyes narrow a little,

'' Just because you want t to play the jealous lover, doesn't _make_ you the lover. If it wasn't for me you'd be dead right now. I stepped in front of him. You were just ready to cry. How about you finally, just for once, do something useful or at least shut up and leave me alone. '' He seems to be broiling with anger, his knuckles turn white from the force he's pressing his hands into fists. I lean back against the counter and cross one foot over the other, my arms crossing loosely over my belly as he comes closer,

'' You fuckin' whore! I'll- '' I pull out my phone and call Joker's contact up,

'' See that? That's Joker's number, I just need to press 'call'. Do you really want to run the risk of getting killed again? Because I won't stop him this time. You attack me and I'll call him. Is that worth it? '' Even he is afraid of Joker. I can see the tingle of fear in his eyes behind the anger. He wouldn't attack me knowing that Joker would kill him for it. I have to admit that it's a funny feeling to threaten someone with Joker. And the fact that he's backing off means Joker made it clear that he wants me to stay untouched. My innocent expression turns into a cruel smirk,

'' I can ease your jealousy a little though. I'm not sleeping with him, you still have a chance. '' He makes another move, like he wants to grab me but he stops shortly before my face. He leans down to me, his face close to mine,

'' This isn't over Bitch. '' I title my head to the side,

'' I think it is. '' With a growl he turns on his heals and leaves the kitchen. I hear how he's cussing under his breath. I raise an eyebrow at him and look at Steve, giving him a smirk. Most of the men around me are grinning, some laughing. The man next to Steve holds his hand up for a high five which I slap in to laughing.

'' Wallpapers off then. '' One of them says and I nod. Without questioning any more they grab what they need and spread out in the house, getting wallpapers off in every room after pushing the stuff in it either out or into the middle of the room. I pick the job to do all that in Joker's room. It doesn't seem like one of the others wants to get in there. I gag a little as I peel off the wallpaper and find bugs or mold under it. I can scrape off the mold easily though so it was only on the paper. If they keep the place clean from now it shouldn't come back. To that comes that this house probably was empty for some time so that the mold had enough time to grow. As soon as every paper is off the walls and I scraped them clean I get outside to find the others already putting on the new ones. I watch how two are trying to cover a corner, one of them on a ladder, holding it straight against the wall, the other one adjusting the long stripe at the bottom. I see the man on the ground looking around and soon realize that he needs the brush with the glue.

'' Need a hand? '' I say and hand him the brush after dipping it in the glue another time. He takes it from me,

'' Thanks. '' He offers. They all give me small side glances but they seem unsure.

'' I won't bite your head off you know? And I don't call Joker onto you either. I just said that to Freddy because I felt seriously threatened _and_ annoyed. '' They don't look exactly convinced, I sigh,

'' What did he even tell you that you're all so afraid of him or of what I could possibly tell him? ''

'' We got told not to touch ya, not to look at ya or talk to you. '' A man behind me says. I turn to him confused, he shrugs. Joker gave them strict orders but no explanation?

'' Boss said he'd skin us if we get close to ya. '' I give them a confused look but they don't seem like they know why either. I think about asking anyway but shake it off. We attach the lasting Wallpapers together. I mostly end up handing things to them. They may not look so happy about this specific kind of work but I can imagine that being here is boring the hell out of them. After all they come form a city that never sleeps, where you can go out and find something to do. It's not quite like that here. Not even in our big cities. Of course we have clubs that are open at night but those men are killers not because they're forced to be one but because they want to.

'' Can somebody help me do Joker's room? ''

'' We're not allowed in there. '' They say in a matter of fact. My eyebrow raises and I cross my arms,

'' I'm allowing it. '' Steve sighs and grabs a couple rolls wallpaper, nudging another man's shoulder in a silent gesture to follow. The man gives him a skeptical look but joins then.

'' While we're in there you can just let that dry off. It shouldn't take long until we can add the color. If you want color that means. I got decent ones, so no worry for pink or anything like that. I thought that you can just pick the colors you like for your rooms. '' They come together at the buckets and open each one to look for a color. Steve, the other man and me don't wait for them to pick one. We get into Joker's room and start gluing the wallpaper onto the wall.

'' I'm Angeline, by the way. '' The other guy looks up at me. He's kneeling on the ground, straightening a stripe of the wallpaper while I put glue onto the next stripe.

'' Mason. '' I smile at him and hand both men the next stripe. This is all going so much faster when there's so many people helping. I remember that I needed days the last time and there the it was just my small apartment. On the loud clatter of a ladder and a guy hitting the ground we run to the door and look outside to find a guy on the ground, the glue-covered paper all over him, sticking to his face.

'' Yo, had an accident Logan? ''

'' Shut up Liam! '' He hisses, peeling the paper off his face. The men around them start laughing in what Steve, Mason and me join in soon enough. I walk laughing into the kitchen and grab a towel of which I also bought plenty. I kneel down next to Logan and hold the towel out to him. He wipes his face off with it and glares at me,

'' Havin' fun kid! ''

'' Yeah. '' I answer grinning. Without any warning he pushes me over easily so that I land on my butt. I glare back at him, pouting,

'' Now you're just being rude. ''

'' _Yeah_. '' I stick my tongue out at him.

'' You two done flirting? We still gotta finish this. ''

'' Don't be a party-pooper Matty. '' The man flips him off while Logan's getting back to his feet. He holds his hand out to me before I can rise myself. As soon as I grab it he pulls me up with enough force to get me stumbling right into him.

'' Yer lighter than I thought. '' He mentions smirking, I give him a look,

'' I'm sorry, did you just call me fat? ''

'' Nah. Ya got big boobs and curves. That's makin' ya heavier. Least I thought so. '' I give him a look, my mouth open to say something but I decide against it, just shaking my head.

'' Okay. -I uh… Okay. '' I shake my head and walk back into Joker's room. Steve's grinning amused but he and Mason follow. It doesn't take long for us to finish the room. The private rooms of the guys are done too soon enough and the floor is dry already. We paint the kitchen in a light sea green that looks more blue than green but I like it. The others start to slowly like the cleaner place too. The more dirt and trash we take out in big bags, the more optimistic they grow. Most of them were talking to me here and now by the time we get done with painting. Nothing deep, just basic conversation that was mostly about the house but I take that as a hint that they don't think I would call Joker on them any moment.

'' If you're up for it, I thought I could cook something. Anybody wants to help? ''

'' My brother's a cook, taught me a few things. I can help. Name's Matthew. '' He and 2 other men step up to me.

'' Andrew. ''

'' I'm Daniel. ''

'' Great. Thanks for the help. I'm Angeline. ''

'' Man yer cookin'? Last time I ate something self made I was a kid! ''

'' Me too. '' I smile at the sudden enthusiasm.

'' What's planned? '' I grin, remembering Steve's words,

'' Steak, Mushrooms and Mediterranean vegetables. Pudding for desert. ''

'' Alright, I love ya. Ya can stay. ''

'' We're getting self-made pudding bro! I didn't eat that for years! ''

'' Me neither. Even forgot the taste! ''

As soon as everything's cleaned up and the last bits of colors are drying Matthew, Daniel, Andrew and me go into the kitchen where Mason accompanies us. While they start cutting the vegetables and the mushrooms, I stuff everything into the cabins that I cleaned out a little. I made Mason clean the fridge though. There's nothing I find more disgusting than rotten food with maggots in it.

'' How's that sweetheart? '' I look over my shoulder to see them done with cutting everything. Matthew was right as he said he's okay at cooking. His vegetables are the only ones that are cut nicely. The others look a little poor but that doesn't foul the taste.

'' Ha! You guys are terrible at that! '' Matthew exclaims loudly, laughing. Daniel hits him across the head while Andrew throws him a death-glare. I shake my head smiling, peel another mushroom and take the knife out of Matthew's hand,

'' Here, next time try to hold the knife a little at an angle. Like that you manage cleaner cuts. '' I say and quickly cut the mushroom into slices. They nod but I see Andrew still flipping off Matthew behind my back. I get a pan out of a cabin and wash it off another time.

'' Okay, so next you put the vegetables and half of the mushrooms in that pan here. I'll mix the dressing together. Andrew you can start on the steak. That one and the lasting mushrooms are made with the sauce in the same pan. We gotta make more though, you're a lot of guys. Try to keep the rest warm on another stove. I'll quickly go and finish Joker's room. '' They do as I say while I put vinegar and several spices with a couple of herbals into a small plastic tin and shake it for a minute to make sure everything's mixing together nicely. Next I put the dressing onto the vegetables and stir the whole thing. I watch over my shoulder how Mason gets the steaks out of the packing, I wonder how long it'll take him to realize that this is vegetarian. I grin to myself and leave the room. I find Steve in one of the rooms close to Joker, adding a blue to his walls. I grab another brush and help him with the last bits.

'' Help me again in Joker's room? '' He nods and we grab 2 buckets with color.

'' So I thought we make two walls purple and the other two green. '' He barks a laugh, looking around,

'' Yeah I can see 'im likin' that. Back in Gotham Boss made half an amusement park out of the hideout. ''

'' Really? ''

'' J can't stand simple things. ''

'' Yes I can imagine that. '' We grin at each other a moment before getting color onto the walls. As I color the wall with the window green I realize that I must have dropped a paper as I shoved the desk away a little. I drop the brush in the color and pick the paper up. It's a drawing of the Batman in a trap, several spears going through his body. It's not as detailed but it kind of reminds me on the drawings that you see in Hannibal's cell. On the desk are more papers scattered, I didn't have the time to order them a little yet. I see more drawings of Batman or cops in traps, of burning buildings. He really is obsessed with the Batman. I already noticed that in the video I saw on YouTube that somebody managed to film while they fought. He flirts with the Batman where he can, even asks him out, tells him he can't function without him. I don't know if he means it or if he just wants the Batman to believe that. But I can imagine that the Batman had some kind of impression on Joker.

'' I'm the second interest. '' I hold up the paper. Steve's eyes narrow a little and he too drops the brush to look at it.

'' Didn't know the Boss can draw. '' He drops it on the desk again,

'' We shouldn't be looking through his shit. '' I nod and put every drawing neatly in a staple onto the desk. I grab for another paper to put it on the staple too but realize it's not a drawing.

'' Why are there names on it? ''

'' Did you even listen to what I said? ''

'' I did nod. -Look there's 13 names but 2 are crossed through. Didn't you kill those 2 guys? '' He groans but focuses on what I said then,

'' Yeah. The Boss didn't tell us why we kill them but those are the people we're here for. ''

'' Why didn't you let someone else do the job? Instead you leave Gotham? ''

'' I dunno sweetheart, really. Boss didn't tell us anything. He just said we will come here for a job. '' I nod and put the list with the names next to the drawings. The laptop is covered in dust from ripping off the wallpapers. I wipe if off through what I see the corner of another paper inside the Laptop. I open it,

_ Name: Angeline Ebbing _

_ Birthday:  _ _ February 2 _ _ nd  _ _ 199 _ _ 3 _ _ (1 _ _ 7 _ _ ) _

_ Place of Residence:  _ _ Köln _ _ , Germany. _

_ Student of the Gymnasium, 1 _ _ 1 _ _ th _ _ grade. A-Grades in English, Biology, Literature and Chemicals. B-Grades in History and Russia. C-Grades in Music and Arts. F-Grades in Math,  _ _ S _ _ ports and Religion. Extra taken classes for English-literature.  _ _ Internship _ _ absolved in the  _ _ emergency department _ _ and in the Police's-IT-rooms.  _

_ R _ _ ebellious student that likes to get into fights with teachers and students and hates listening to rules.  _ _ Several _ _ visits at the principle, several hours detention and 2 critical parent-calls after attacking  _ _ various _ _ students. Insulting teachers after small incidents like confiscating pencils or  _ _ disciplin _ _ ing _ _ her. _

_ Strong involvements in Peaceful Demo _ _ nstrations _ _ for Freedom in the medias, against corruption, for the protection of Animals and the Nature. Involved once in terrorizing acts against 3 people that were set onto free foot after torturing and murdering several animals. Attack onto a  _ _ laboratory _ _ that tested medications on animals,  _ _ Arrested once for  _ _ Burglary and assaulting a police officer. _

_ Dedicated member of _ _ Comic and Gamer society.  _ _ Visiting every available  _ _ Fan  _ _ C _ _ onvention. _

_ Smokes cigarettes in stress situations or in boredom, takes cannabis against Borderline and for fun.  _ _ Possibly addicted to Morphine _ _. _

_ Borderline, p _ _ ossible psychoses and the strong urge to protect Bonny Reinold and Lily Bachler. _

I feel my muscles tensing at the amount and most of all the detailed information about me. Did Joker write this or had he someone following me for that? It's bad enough he knows about my mental state, I don't need his spies to know about it too. I thought he didn't see the morphine, he seemed quite occupied at the pills. The Laptop screen lights up and shows several pictures of me in school, at home, outside smoking or just strolling around. I look at Steve but he seems just as surprised about that,

'' I didn't take those. ''

'' Yeah… thought so…'' I shake my head and put the paper with the information about me back onto the keypad of the laptop before closing it. Why did he write that down? If it wasn't one of the guys who found out about this it must have been him. He said he was just watching me a couple of days but he wasn't just watching me in my room. He followed me to my school. How did no one see him? Was he in a costume? I try to shake it off but still find a shiver running down my back. Watching me or not, how can he know about the laboratory? I know that the people I've been with wouldn't talk openly about it. We barely got away with that, there's no chance anyone would talk.

I take a deep breathe and look to the window,

'' I need to clean that after we're done here. '' Silently we go back to work, a small tension in the room. That one loosens though as a big splat of color I didn't brush off drips down on my shirt. My mouth drops open in shock and a small noise escapes my lips. Steve abruptly laughs at my expression and the fact that my shirt is ruined forever now. I glare at him but smirk then. Before he can stop me I dip my hand into the color and splash it into his face.

'' You didn't. ''

'' I did. '' He wipes the color off his face and smears it into mine, his hand tightly around my arm to make sure I don't escape. I push him off raising my hands,

'' Okay I give up! I give up! ...Hug it out! '' I quickly wrap my arms around his chest and bump my belly against his to have the color on my shirt get into his.

'' You bitch! That's not giving up! '' He smears the lasting bits of color on his hands on my back and I lean back a little to smirk at him,

'' It totally is. Hug to make it better, hug to end the fight. '' He chuckles but pushes me off to look down at himself. Luckily we didn't hit the wall so that after a few more brushes we're done and get out again after cleaning the widow and pushing the desk back to its original place. I get back into the kitchen to find most of the food done by now. I put a few more spices on the prepared steaks and check the Mediterranean vegetables again. I put a few more spices onto them but leave them to fry some more.

'' We can give everything ten more minutes and eat then. '' They high five each other, all of them seem pretty excited. I smile, it's incredible how happy they are about something simple as food. Especially considering at how fucked up they are. If you see them in TV they always seem to satisfied with hurting people, in the bus they were bathing in the fear the others felt. And now they're like completely different people.

'' This is actually pretty cool. ''

'' Yeah. Was a good idea honey. '' The tall man from before ruffles through my hair.

'' Anyone got speakers I can connect my phone to? You know, for music. '' They give each other a look,

'' Any idea where we put it? ''

'' Nah. Didn't the Boss break it? ''

'' No he broke the chair cause he kept hitting the guy with a crowbar. '' One of them laughs at that,

'' Yeah, popped out both his eyes with that. '' My eyebrows rise as I listen to their conversation. Joker managed to hit someone on a chair hard enough to break it? I should make sure to not get hit by him. He doesn't look that strong but I think there has to be another reason than just his personality that make the guys here fear him like they do.

'' Yeah and while that he broke the speakers. ''

'' No he broke the stereo, the speakers are fine. ''

'' Guys I got them in my room. ''

'' Told ya. '' The guy next to Matthew gets a large speaker out of a room and places it before my feet. I kneel down in front of it and connect it with my phone.

'' Any objections to AC/DC? '' As no one says anything I turn on Shoot To Thrill.

'' You hear rock? ''

'' Actually I listen to kind of everything. Except Justin Bieber and Helene Fischer. ''

'' Helene what now? '' Some guy asks. Logan pats his shoulder,

'' So better off not knowing. My wife loves her. Horrible. '' I give him a surprised look,

'' You're married? '' He shrugs his shoulders while nodding, like it's completely normal,

'' Yeah. ''

'' Me too. Got a 2 year old boy. ''

'' You're kidding. Do your wives know where you are? ''

'' They know who we're workin' for if ya mean that. I told Sienna I'd be gone for a while but didn't mention details. '' Logan says on what the other guy nods,

'' I told Erica the Boss got some plan and that we're tagging along. The less they know, the better. '' I grin at them but don't dig deeper. Maybe I will later. I didn't think they would actually have this kind of private life, let alone a married one.

For now I got something else planned though. The song shifts and I hear Back in Black going off. Soon the tallest of them grabs my phone and scrolls through my list. It doesn't take long before Eminem's Lose Yourself begins to play.

'' Good choice. '' I mention and he smirks at me,

'' Good collection. ''

'' What happened to you two, by the way? '' Mason asks, pointing between Steve and me.

'' We hugged it out. ''

'' Why don't get _I_ a hug? '' The tall one asks, I really should find out his name.

'' Cause the color on my shirt's dry by now -And don't you think about getting new one there! '' I point my finger at him as I see him looking to the bucket with color. He raises his hands with a grin. I look around on the wall and spot a white dot close to the ceiling,

'' You missed something. '' I say and point at it. They give each other a look and before I can argue, the tall one lifts me onto his shoulder as if I'm a small kid while Steve gets the brush. I squeal in both shock and nervousness and wrap my legs tightly around him,

'' Air. Air! '' I release my grip on him a little as he slaps my legs. I must have cut off his air supply. I'd say I'm sorry but my hands are still tightly holding onto his head,

'' Why didn't you warn me! ''

'' Why do you try to choke me to death! ''

'' Cause I was shocked, bitch! ''

'' Shut up and paint. '' I take the brush Steve gives me but the moment it's in my hand, another big splash of color drops down on my hand. Out of instinct I let go of it with a yelp,

'' Whoa that's too much col- _Ah_! '' I scream loud enough for the forest to hear as the man tries to avoid the brush, steps back too fast, looses his balance and falls backwards. I again cling to him but while he hits the ground hard, Mason catches me in the fall, keeping me in the air like I'm a feather lion-king-style. The man on the ground groans and sits up,

'' Why didn't someone catch me! ''

'' Yer ugly already man, she's still hot and worth savin'. '' Liam says grinning but helps him up. I smile at them,

'' Oh thank you. '' Mason now lets me down too but before we can do anything, the sound of clapping at the door stops us...

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing I notice as I get out of the car is the music. My eyes narrow a little in both confusion and annoyance. My eyes move to the trunk of the car but I decide to ignore that for now and get inside to check what they're doing in there. Angel wanted to renovate the house, I wonder if she's still at it or if she gave up doing that on her own. As soon as I'm in the door I stop a moment, taking in the change of atmosphere. The rotting, colorless walls are now in a nice gray shade with red stripes over it that looks like someone was killed and thrown against it. The place is clean from what I see and I smell something really good. Anthony got Angel on his shoulders but she seems more shocked about that, screaming at him why he didn't warn her. I grin. I told them not to touch her but I doubt it was them that did the first step. They're idiots but they do what they're told. I step into the house but no one notices me at first so that I get a look at the 'living room'. It got cleaned too, new wallpapers, new color, window's are cleaned, couch was cleaned. The table in the middle is clean too and the chairs stand rather neatly there now. I look back at Angel, she's smiling, almost excited. But before she can do whatever she planned to, she drops the brush that Steve hands her with a screech, Anthony tries to avoid it and both fall. I feel my fingers twitching, my teeth baring but Mason catches her before she can fall while Anthony hits the ground hard. Angel's eyes are wie, her mouth formed to a pouting 'o' as Mason holds her up in the air.

'' Why didn't someone catch me! '' I roll my eyes. So big, such a pansy. Liam grins at him, pointing at Angel a moment,

'' Yer ugly already man, she's still hot. '' While Liam helps Anthony to his feet, Mason puts down Angel who smiles,

'' Oh thanks. ''

_Sure, there she can take a compliment._

I shake my head but lean my shoulder against the wall, how the hell did she get them to help her? I gotta keep an eye on her, the girl can talk. My lips turn into a grin and my hands rise. As they hear my clapping, they stop dead in their tracks. Mason abruptly takes his hands off her and everyone takes a step away from her.

'' Oh _now_ yer rememberin' the _order_? '' I ask, my eyebrow slightly higher. They look to the ground like children that were caught eating candy. _My_ candy. Angel gives me a look, her arms crossing over her chest but she holds her tongue. For now. I see something in her eyes, she's angry about something. I wonder what it is. I get close to her on what the others take a small step back.

'' Uh… We done here? '' I hear Liam asking carefully. Angel turns carelessly away from me and smiles at him,

'' Yeah we are. If somebody could help me with the food a moment, that would be great. '' I watch Mason nodding but instead of calmly walking there he, Anthony, Logan, Matthew, Andrew and Daniel are pushing their ways into the kitchen so that Angel laughs,

'' With help I meant putting everything on the table, not eating it! '' She calls after them. I hear them groaning but the following sound of dishes being handed around lets on that they're doing what she says. Everyone that didn't run to the food is getting the lasting bits of dirt and the empty buckets with color out. I laugh at that,

'' You bitch got 'em wrapped around yer finger! '' She gives me a dry look,

'' They helped because I asked, I didn't wrap anyone around my finger. '' I raise an eyebrow at her but nod then to the kitchen,

'' Food? '' Her expression grows softer again and she nods,

'' We were cooking something while the colors dried. Way I heard it most people here didn't eat something self-made in years. And they were all hungry. You know, I thought that you guys would just eat the food of people you killed if you're already in their homes. ''

'' We do, sometimes. There's just not always time for that. 's different in Gotham, with Bats. '' She gives me a look I can't quite define. A heartbeat later she looks around, her eyes glimmering with excitement again,

'' What do you say? Like it? ''

'' A little dull, but nicer than before. Lil' domestic. ''

'' That's why I added the red here. If you want jacks in a box, you have to put them in here yourself. And like I promised, no orange. ...Wanna see your room? '' I nod at her and follow her into my room. She's careful around me, more than she's around the others. Can't say I hold it against her but there's a small, annoying peeking at the back of my mind because of it. In front of my office she stops, gesturing me to go first. I smirk at her and walk past her, saluting. I don't fail to notice the small smile of amusement on her lips. This is going my way, slowly but surely. I whistle impressed while letting my eyes stroll through the room. It's clean, the papers and my laptop are neatly put on the clean desk, the window is clean, the chair is, the bed has sheets, pillows and a blanket. It smells like fresh colors and cleaning chemicals. I turn around to see she hasn't moved from the door yet. She's giving me a self-assured look, the faintest smirk turning up her lips. Not leaving her the chance to object, I throw her over my shoulder, kick the door close and let her down on my desk while taking my seat in the chair.

'' I feel like a doll, people are carrying me all the time. '' I feel my eye twitching a little, my fingers curling.

_Which is exactly the opposite to what I told them!_

'' How long was this takin' ya? '' She gives me a surprised look but shrugs then her shoulders, a smile on her lips,

'' A few hours. The others really helped a lot. ''

'' And why exactly were they helpin' ya? What did ya do to 'em? ''

'' Nothing! I made a deal. They help me get this done, I guarantee that the place will look great and they get all the food they want. I told them that they're not in Gotham, that this is a nature reserve here and that no one will ever connect this place with you. You got no reason to live in a rundown hotel for germs and mold. You can get comfortable for the time you're here. The cleaner this place got the more enthusiastic they grew and as soon as I mentioned the cooking they were pretty happy. Beside the fact that you all are sadistic killers, you have quite the charming side. ''

'' We _all_ , eh? ''

'' I'm not convinced of you yet. '' She quickly replays. I lean back laughing but fake then a pout,

'' What's there to consider? '' Suddenly she leans down to me, her voice lower,

'' You were _stalking_ me. I saw the pictures and the papers in your laptop. ''

'' So? ''

'' _So_? You were at my school, close to my friends, _spying_ after me. You broke into my apartment, looked through my stuff while I was gone and took pictures of me without me knowing. That's a serious damage to my privacy! That's not exactly charming! ''

'' Like I said, I only watched ya a couple of days. ''

'' You said _watching_! Not _following_! ''

'' There's not a _real_ _difference_ in that. Both 's got the same outcome. Me finding out about _what_ _I_ _wanted_ _to_ _know_. What I needed to know. Things that confirm me in ma thinking. '' A frustrated smile distorts her face,

'' You needed to know about what I take? About my mental state? For me that sounds like you plan to play with my mind. ''

'' _Who_ _says_ I'm not doing so _already?_ ''

'' Who says I'm not considering it? '' I smirk and lean back,

'' Ever thought about that maybe the _considering_ is making it _so_ _much_ _worse_? The _paranoia_ that's coming from the _permanent_ _suspicious_ _thinkin_ '. The _fear_ that comes from the paranoia. _Considering_ is making my job easier. ''

'' Maybe it is. But I think there's always a certain kind of danger around you. If I consider or not, it ends the same. ''

'' Then why d'ya do it? ''

'' Personal satisfaction maybe. '' A wave of laughter rumbles through my chest. What the hell is going on in her head? She's considering this too much but not enough. Confusing, multiple, almost, too much, not enough, maybe enough.

'' I'm not the Batman, you know that right? '' I title my head at her, seriously confused for a second. She picks up on that and lowers her head, her eyes narrowed but not in anger. Like she wants me to realize something.

'' I'm not going to fight you until your bones break. I won't tell you to stop hurting innocent people. I'm not like him. So if you're looking for an exchange while you're here, you should look somewhere else. '' My own eyes narrow now bemused,

'' Yer really thinkin' I wanna make Batman 2.0 out of ya? _Batgirl_ , maybe? ''

'' I don't know what you want. All I hear since I got into Steve's car this morning is that there isn't anyone interesting you but yourself. I'm trying to find my place in your mind. ''

'' I'm lookin' for nothin' in particular. Yer interestin' me, that's all. ''

'' Okay. ''

'' What, no further questionin'? I really think we're going somewhere. ''

'' No. No questions. -Wait. I got one. Why did you hire that one guy? ''

'' Which one? ''

'' The Doctor. The one that stabbed me. He's reckless and he's got some huge issues, isn't he some kind of danger to your group here? ''

'' He's good at what he's doin'. Always handy to have a surgeon. Why are you asking? ''

'' No real reason. Just curiosity. '' I look at her suspiciously,

'' Anything I need to know about? ''

'' Nothing huge, really. We had a small argument and he run out. I don't know where he went. ''

'' What was the argument about? ''

'' As the others agreed on helping me he got mad and said a few things, I said things back. It was simple. Just a small fight, really. ''

'' Angel. Tell me. What. He. Did. ''

'' He said he wouldn't let me push him around just because you're fucking me. I said that he shouldn't act like a jealous lover and he left. That's it, really. '' I don't believe that this is all but the girl seems to be against telling me the truth and if I threaten her she'll leave. I allow silence to consume the room and watch her looking to the ground before her eyes move up to meet mine again,

'' Where have you been the whole day? ''

'' Curious? '' She sticks her tongue out at me of which I quickly grab a hold,

'' Yer lucky I'm in a good mood. Normally I don't like it when people talk to me like you do. Now swing yer cute ass off ma desk and come along Princess. '' I get up and walk out of the room, hearing her follow close behind me before getting to my side,

'' Please, the next time you pull something like this, wash your hands. What's that even? Dirt, blood, gunpowder... Is that flesh?! ''

'' How d'ya know what human flesh tastes like? '' I grin at her teasing but she just smirks coldly at me,

'' If you really want to know, I had contact to a cannibal in the US until about half a year ago. I was kind of obsessed with Hannibal Lecter so I wanted to know more bout Cannibalism. And I bit into some guy's throat once. ''

'' Where the hell did ya find a Cannibal? ''

'' Google? ''

'' 'kay... that's strange Angel, even for me. Anyways darlin', _y_ _a know_ that I got ya somethin'. And they're still in the trunk. ''

'' No I don't- wait, _they_? Like in, more of... whatever? '' I open the trunk and see her face changing through several emotions in only a few seconds until she ends up with her mouth open and her eyes wide but full of excitement. Her hand suddenly grabs my arm, her nails digging through my jacket into my skin, her other hand making wild movements in front of her face to suppress the squeak which comes a few seconds later, her eyes never leaving the 2 small Hyenas in the trunk that are waking up slowly. As soon as they see her properly they start growling at her, trying to bit her. She titles her head amused a moment before leaning down, her eyes flashing dangerously,

'' Down. '' Without another word they stop growling and relax. She holds her hand out to them, allowing them to sniff it before carefully petting them. It doesn't take long until she climbs into the trunk to cuddle them. I look from the 2 meant-to-be-dangerous beats to her and back a few times, rising an eyebrow,

'' That's not what they're supposed to do. '' As I take a step closer, they snap at me but Angel soothers them quickly, her voice low,

'' Hyenas always listen to the toughest female in the pack, not the male. Call it good instinct. '' She smirks at me while both Hyenas climb into her lap and cuddle against her. I knew I shouldn't have taken babies but women love everything small so I thought why not, they'll grow.

'' I've always had a better wire to animals than to people. Before we had the dogs I had a cat, Luna. She was great. She was biting people at the shelter but she never hurt me. '' A sad smile comes to her face for a moment but it's replaced with true happiness as she looks up at me,

'' Why did you get them? ''

'' I like Hyenas. Funny things. Got 'em in small cause I thought they'd be a nice present. With you here for a week and all. Gives ya somethin' to do. ''

'' A week? You think I stay the week my mom's gone? ''

'' It's not like there's anything more interesting keeping ya up, is there? ''

'' Well no but… I can't do that. I got dogs at home too. '' I want to argue with her but she squeals laughing as the smaller Hyena licks her face. The noises seem to attract the others because when I look over my shoulder I see them coming outside too to look why she's being so loud. As I spot Steve with them my eyes narrow. With another look at Angel I get inside the house, motioning Steve to follow me. He can explain me what really happened with Marcus while I was gone..

It doesn't take a lot of talking for Steve to tell me what happened. I kicked him out with the order to tell me as soon as Marcus' back from wherever he went. Stabbing her wasn't enough, no. If he fucks up then in all glory. Acting like the Boss while I'm not around, insulting my playtoy, trying to fucking hurt her again, threatening her, taking risks for nothing. I think he needs a small reminder about who's in charge here.

I look up as the door opens without a knock and Angel comes in with a tray on her arm. She's smiling, her cheeks have the faintest red shadow over them that lets on she was laughing. She's waiting for the Hyenas to come in behind her and kicks the door close. As soon as she realizes I'm watching her, her smile widens again and she holds up the tablet.

'' I was pretty sure you don't want to eat with the others so I thought I get this here. No one of them noticed yet that this isn't meat, I must be better at cooking than I thought. '' A diabolic smirk replaces the smile as she walks around my desk and places the tablet right in front of me. She hops onto my desk, one leg crossing over the other, her hands on her leg. I barely glance at the food before leaning back,

'' Ya should have told me. ''

'' About what? That I'm a vegetarian that refuses to cook or touch meat? I thought you know that much about me now. ''

'' I know the vegetarian part. I mean bout Marcus. ''

'' Marcus? Oh, the Doctor. That's why Steve disappeared. You scared him into telling you. ''

'' That wouldn't have been necessary if ya would have told me yourself. '' She looks to the side a moment before meeting my eyes,

'' I can deal with that myself. It's not the first time someone called me Whore or tried to attack me. And to be honest I don't want you to kill someone for something meaningless as starting a fight. ''

'' It ain't meaningless if I told them specifically _not. To. Touch. You._ Now, I won't say anything to your sudden BFF relationship with the others out there but there's a _difference_ between the touching between them and you and the way he wants to _touch_ ya. ''

'' I know that. I just… You can't kill anyone that threatens me. ''

'' Pretty sure I can. ''

'' That's a long list. ''

'' I'll be here for some time. ''

'' Yeah about that, I won't be. I can't stay the week. I don't have anything to sleep in, a toothbrush or clothes for the day. Nothing. And I can't just leave my dogs to themselves. They need food, company and- ''

'' They'll survive if ya leave them alone for a couple days. ''

'' I could explain this rationally to you like the Animal rights activist I am but I really doubt that you would listen or care about my explanation so I'll make it simple: No. ''

'' What's the big deal about it, they'll get along. ''

'' How would you react if you're for days on without food, water, company and a toilet? '' I smirk at her,

'' Like I always do when I'm in Arkham. '' She rolls her eyes,

'' See, that's why I made it simple. ''

'' Ah, well... c'mon then. We get yer pets and some cloths for ya if that's so important. '' I get out of my chair and walk to the door but stop as I realize she's not following. I give a look and gesture to the door. Slowly she slides off the desk and follows me to the car again, the Hyenas tailing her nicely. I didn't know that they listen to the female in the 'pack'. I thought they would be more like dogs, liking everything they see but listening to the Alpha. I can almost feel Angel throwing me doubting glances. I open the trunk and get the Hyenas in. Angel isn't saying anything until she seems to be sure I'm actually driving to her apartment,

'' What if my dogs and the Hyenas don't like each other? ''

'' Angel, the house is _big_. Ya can put the D _ogs_ in one room and the H _yenas_ in the other one. Besides, ya don't, uh, _know_ if they _like_ each other or _not_. ''

'' I hope they do…'' She whispers softly while sliding deeper into the seat, looking out of the window. Around 15 more minutes and I pull up in front of her apartment. After checking that there's no one around us we get out of the car and upstairs. She fumbles with her keys a moment before unlocking the door and letting us in. As soon as the door is closed, her dogs greet her happily. She kneels down a moment to pet both of them but goes then into her room without any other word. Suddenly the dogs turn at me, their teeth bared dangerously and their tails up in the air. I glare at them and grab for a knife-

'' If you hurt my dogs we're in serious trouble! '' I hide the knife behind my back as her head peeks around the corner to give me a threatening glare. Her eyes move to her dogs,

'' Behave! '' As if nothing happened they sit down and wiggle their tails at me, giving me a look that almost looks like a silent plead to pet them like Angel did.

'' Forget it. '' I walk past them and get into Angel's room to find her jumping up and down in front of her mirror, obviously trying to reach a suitcase. I laugh as she takes some distance and jumps onto it. The wardrobe shakes a little in that process but it doesn't look like it'll fall together anytime soon.

'' I should quit the smoking… Or maybe start jogging...'' She murmurs while grabbing her suitcase and tossing it to the ground.

'' You realize ya could've asked me to get that down? '' I ask with one eyebrow raised while pointing up to her. Her face falls and she looks around helplessly,

'' I... wasn't thinking about that... You could help me down though. I think I'm stuck here. '' She holds her arms out to me.

'' Nah, I'll just leave ya up there. Like a Kitten trapped on a tree. ''

'' Fine, watch me jump into my death. '' Suddenly she turns her back to me and allows her body to fall down. In one large step I'm at the wardrobe and catch her before she can hit the ground.

'' What was that supposed to be when yer done! '' Innocently she opens her eyes and grins at me, no sign of regret in her eyes what only makes me angrier right now.

'' I was pretty sure you would catch me. See it as some kind of trust-test. '' She easily jumps off my arms and starts tossing some clothes and a toothbrush into the suitcase together with her phone charger. After that she wraps collars around her dogs throats but makes no move to also attach the leashes. I watch her looking around again, probably to check if she'll need anything else. I groan silently, my hands running through my hair. Just why the hell am I even doing this? I really should reconsider this whole 'I don't kill Angel' thing I set into my mind. This girl's scratching at places that shouldn't exist. It's better if I kill her now, take my time and enjoy it and then it's over with her. That I should do, I will just get to her, bound and gag her and let her suffer-

'' Are you sure it's fine if we take them? I mean you don't seem pretty fond of them. I don't need to stay at your place, I can just as well come by more often and get home at night, that's not a problem...'' She looks at me worried, suspicious. Not buying it that I really mean it. I grit my teeth and smirk,

'' C'mon let's go back. '' I grab her suitcase and carry it into the car. Angel tells her dogs to sit and finally puts them on a leash. Before I can get back into the car, she pushes the leashes into my hands and opens the trunk. She puts the leashes around the Hyenas' necks that I got for them as I picked them up in Hamburg and slowly allows the 4 animals to get closer. I watch how her face splits into a released smile as they sniff at each other calmly and the elder dogs lick the young Hyenas clean like parents.

'' See, told ya they would get along. '' I say as the 4 animals begin to play with each other.

'' Yeah you were right… I'm glad...'' She's calm again but happy. Almost in a tired way.

 _She didn't_ _put the pills into the suitcase and she's got no other bag where they could be_ _… Did she leave them in her room on purpose or_ _did she forget about them_ _?_ _I wonder if she'll go on withdrawal if she stays clean for some time. She showed symptoms that could have been a part of that the one day I was watching her. I guess I'll find out if she does soon enough._

My eyes narrow carefully as I look down at her. Her head's resting against my arm now while she's watching them play along. I shrug my shoulders and we slowly make our way back to the hideout. While I get back into my room, Angel takes the task to inform the others of her dogs. They don't look pissed when I cross them, not at all.

_That lil' minx isn't only having a bad influence on me, she's making my henchmen all gooey._

This time it doesn't take long until Angel gets back into my room, closing the door softly behind her. She still looks happy, nothing's changed about that. Yet. If she's getting into withdrawal, this will change soon enough. I lean back against my desk and cross my arms over my chest. Slowly she walks up to me and stands up on her toes to press a kiss to my cheek,

'' Thank you...'' She whispers. She leans back to smile at me but goes then straight for her suitcase to grab a pair of black sweatpants and a gray shirt out of it. While that one of her dogs, the smaller one, comes up to me and presses her head against my leg, calling for attention.

'' Told ya: No. '' The dog lowers its ears and looks up at me with round eyes and a small whine.

'' No. '' I look at Angel who watches me amused with her head titled and her hands playing with the fabric of her shirt. Another whine from the dog makes me look down at it again, by now she flickers her tail a little, making me snort,

'' Go away! ''

'' Her name's BabyDoll. You know, like the girl from the movie Sucker Punch. His name is Hannibal. From Hannibal Lecter. I name my animals after movie characters I like. I named my cat after the cat in Sailor Moon. That's an Anime I loved as a kid. ''

'' Get off BabyDoll! '' I say strictly but the dog isn't backing off. Opposite, I swear I can feel her pressing her head harder against my leg.

'' BabyDoll, better get off him. He's like the Grumpy-Cat from YouTube. '' My mouth falls open as the dog abruptly moves away from me and lies down next to the other one close to the bed. I give Angel an indignant glare but she carelessly walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind her. I look from the door down to the dogs and the Hyenas. I wanted the Hyenas, I didn't want the dogs. I don't like animals, I just like the Hyenas because they're big, scary and for their laughter. But I guess as long as I got Angel here, the dogs won't go anywhere either.

_That's what I get for having some kind of interest in a kid with an animal-fetish. I should have checked that before I got close to her. Considering, I probably would have reacted the same. She's just too much fun. And really pretty to look at. She sure has some curves that she can show more openly. I wouldn't mind putting her into one of the outfits Sionis' noble-whores wear from time to time-_

My thoughts freeze in my head as the bathroom door opens and Angel comes out, the pants hanging loosely on her hips and the shirt ending barely below her navel so that her stomach is exposed as she slides her fingers through her hair absently. I chew slightly on the scar on my right cheek, my tongue sliding over my lips quickly. Her hair is messier, probably because of the changing. Her eyes have a lighter touch due the lack of black around them. Her skin seems a tad paler without the makeup but not any less marvelous. Without looking at me she bends over to drop her other cloths in the suitcase.

'' Is everything alright? '' She turns to me surprised as she hears the dull thunk echoing through the room after I let my head hit the desk,

_Karma's a bitch... A really damn fucked up bitch..._

'' Nothin'. ''

'' I would ask but I'm sure I would regret it. Where do I sleep? ''

'' There…'' I say and point at my bed, looking up at her just in time to see a blush filling her cheeks. With a nervous but fake-annoyed huff she crosses her arm over her chest,

'' I refuse to sleep in this small bed with you! ''

'' Shy? '' I ask challenging.

'' No! ''

'' Where's yer problem then? Afraid I slip and fall into yer vagina? '' Her eyes narrow,

'' Ha ha. Funny. It's called personal-space. Heard of that? ''

'' Depends on what day it is. If yer feeling more comfortable you could get into the bed of one of my men. '' Her eyes move to the side in a thinking manner before she nods,

'' Ok bye. '' She turns on her heels and makes her way to the door,

'' Where are you going? ''

'' To Steve. '' I glare at her smirk and point at my bed again,

'' Get yer ass in there, Princess. '' Still smirking I watch her climbing into the bed. She faces the wall with her back so that I see her face but she's not saying anything. Her eyes close and soon her breathe becomes slower. After some time, in which I thought she would already be sleeping, she suddenly sits up and looks at me,

'' Don't you... want to sleep too? '' I look up from my laptop and grin,

'' If ya want me to join, all ya need to do is ask. ''

'' Don't flatter yourself, it was just a question. ''

'' I can calm ya, got work to do. ''

'' Work or playing games? ''

_How does she..._

'' Angel I'm getting' in there...'' Her grin drops at that and she turns to face the wall.

At about 7 in the morning I look up from my Laptop again, the sun's up but I hung a towel over the window in the night to keep the sun out. I guess everyone else did the same because there wasn't any annoyed yelling for the sun to sink again. I hear the soft snoring of Angel's dogs and watch the Hyenas' legs twitching in their dreams. Angel's breathe is completely soundless so that the blanket rising and falling softly is the only proof that she's still alive. I lean back and watch her for a moment, she's calm and deep asleep. I don't think I would wake her if I slip in next to her now. My eye lids are getting heavier and my mind's shutting off slowly. I wonder how long I'll sleep. I don't have a number of hours that I need. I always sleep as long as I have to and as long as I can. It mostly depends on where I am and how safe the place is. I can't exactly say I enjoy sleeping, I'm rather awake and do something. Anything, really. There's enough time for me to sleep as soon as I'm dead.

With a small noise she turns around in her sleep so that I can see her face again. I shut my laptop close and get out of the chair to kneel down in front of the bed. Her body's curled up, one arm stretched away from her so that her hand hangs over the bed, the other one close to her body, her hand faintly touching her nose. Her eyelids twitch here and now. She's looking so innocent like this. Like a precious doll, breakable, something to hide behind a glass. Slowly I rise back to my feet, kick off my shoes, socks, jacket and vest and slip in behind her, my chest faintly touching her back. I look down at her but my eyes close as her scent comes to my nose,

_This isn't good is it?_

Her eyes flutter slightly and for a moment I think she wakes up as I give in to the urge and pull her closer after a few minutes, pressing her to my chest and burying my nose in her neck, taking in her smell more intensely. But instead of waking up she simply moves her head to place it on my arm, the hand that was hanging over the edge now softly grabbing my arm. I feel my lips twitching a little....

_No, this ain't fuckin' good at all._

* * *


	5. How To Safe A Life

As soon as I wake up I smell Joker in the sheets, feel the warmth the thin sheets and blanket radiate. The pillow under my head feels a little harder than I remember it but it's warm and comfortable. I could easily fall asleep again. I sigh dreamily as I cuddle deeper into the warmth, enjoying the peace I feel inside me. I don't always wake up this comfortable. The fog in my mind clears a little as I move my body closer to the warmth and suddenly feel something sliding down my back undtil it stops millimeters over my butt. My eyes open a little in confusion and I soon realize that the pillow isn't a pillow but Joker's chest and that I'm not clinging to the sheets but to him. My eyes widen but I don't sit up. Maybe he's still asleep and I can move without waking him. If he finds me sleeping on him he'll never let me live that down. Carefully I peek up to find his eyes still closed, a rather relaxed look on his face. It has nothing of the usual tension in it and that alone somehow makes him look more handsome. The next thing I notice is the condition his greasepaint is in. It's almost completely gone what gives him a somewhat younger look. I feel a certain curiosity bubbling up in me _._ But before I can think about wiping more of the paint off, Joker's face twitches and his breathing changes. He's waking up. I quickly lie back down and pretend to be asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

On the feeling of something moving close to me, no, on top of me, my mind wakes up in a heartbeat. There's a small pressure on my chest and something's grabbed a hold of my shirt. My fingers twitch for one of my knifes, I always have one or two close to me in case something like this happens. The smell of that something on top of me though, makes me halt in my movements. It smells like strawberry and the forest. My eyes open to find Angel sprawled out on me, her hands holding softly onto my shirt, her head on my chest and one leg slightly angled. How cute, she sweetheart-cradles me. But she's awake, her body's tensed the tiniest bit and her breathing is too flat. I woke up because she moved on me. It doesn't take long before she falls asleep again though. I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling. One of my hands is on her back, the other one's stretched away from me so that my knuckles brush the wall. _A smirk stretches my lips as an idea crosses my mind. Carefully not to wake her again I grab for my phone and take a picture of her,_

'' _You'll hate me for this…''_ I whisper and smirk down at her but she's not reacting. I stay in position for a little longer but get then up and dressed, not in my usual stuff. I go for a black hoodie and simple jeans. I wash off my makeup and put my hair back. No one else is up yet. No door is open, no noise is audible, no movement somewhere in the living room or the kitchen _._ No surprise, it's only 9 in the morning, I only slept a couple of hours. If I would need anyone for what I got planned I would wake them up without any mercy. But I don't need them. They would only get into my way. With a last look around I grab the keys for the car…

 

* * *

 

 

The next time I wake up it's rather dark in the room. I grab blindly for my phone and wince as the light of the screen seems to be punching me in the face. I see a text message from Joker and a pic attached to it. Before I open it though I look at what time it is. It's a little past 8 pm. With a yelp I sit up straight in the bed, my eyes wide,

_What I slept through the whole day?!_

I run my fingers through my hair and breathe out slowly. It's not like there would be any place I need to go. The dogs and the Hyenas are by now calling for attention, they probably need to pee. It's a real miracle they held out for this long. I stretch and for the first time realize that I'm alone in the bed. Joker's gone and there's no noise reaching my ears. Maybe they left, or some are asleep. I should probably read the text but I don't really want to. I feel lazy, tired. I slept so long and still all I want is to turn around again and go on sleeping. But the animals need to get out or they'll end up peeing onto the floor. Joker wouldn't like that and I wouldn't like having to clean that. _With a sigh I open the text message,_

 

 __ Work. Get comfortable _ _ __. -J. _ _

 

I lean back against the pillow. I wonder if he found something that keeps him on his feet or if he kills someone else from the list. I guess I'll find out as soon as he comes back. I open the picture and lean forwards again, my mouth dropping open and my eyes wide,

'' No way…! '' On the picture I see myself cuddling whole-heartedly with Joker in my sleep, my face in his chest and my hands grabbing his shirt. His arm's loosely around my back and even if half his face isn't on the picture I see the grin on his lips. I know that I lay on him like this but that gives him no right to make a picture of that. I curse under my breathe and toss my phone aside. Next to the bed on the small commode is a dark red, almost black rose with a note attached to it,

 

__ Don't be mad _ _

 

It's not dry, he must have gotten it here not long ago. A small smile turns my lips up before I can stop myself. He's playing with me again but I can't say that I dislike this one so much. As long as he's not cheating and we both get our turns this is good. I don't usually like getting flowers, it's sappy and a waste of money. They dry and end up in the trash. But Joker is playful, charming if he wants to be. A true psychopath. Maybe it's to keep my mood up, maybe it's a joke. That uncertainty behind it is giving this a nice touch. With a sudden boost of energy I get out of bed and stretch again, this time with more enthusiasm than before. My eyes abruptly move to the Hyenas and the dogs, they're looking at me urging. I laugh and don't bother to dress any other way or put some makeup on. All I do is wash my face and grab an apple out of the kitchen before getting outside with them. I don't bother to run after them as they take off together. The Hyenas seem pretty attached to my dogs and my babies never run off before. I follow slowly into the forest until I find them at a lake. I knew that there's one here, I just never was this deep inside.

'' No wait don't- '' I try but the four animals already jumped into the water and are dripping wet,

'' Get in there… Damn it…'' I sigh and sit down at the water. I guess I'll just stay here a while until they're dry and exhausted. If they get everything wet back at the house Joker will be mad. To that comes that wet dogs smell horrible. I lay back into the grass and look up into the sky.

_I can't believe that I'm really doing this… I should be more afraid of him, I should run or try to contact the Batman. Tell him where Joker is so that he can drag him back to Gotham. Why isn't he here anyway? I mean, sure there's a lot of other dangerous criminals in Gotham but isn't he sort of high priority? Especially considering that we have zero heroes here. Maybe he's here already, looking for him. If so he could storm into the hideout at any time and take Joker away._

I turn to my side and close my eyes. My stomach suddenly cramps in an uncomfortable way and my back tenses. Joker's brutal and dangerous. He could snap any moment and do god knows what. His methods are disgusting. He's a sadistic, slightly sexist prick. But he has his charming side. Even though a lot is faked I know there's something deeper than just a psychopathic criminal that likes to murder people and bring chaos wherever he goes. He's poetic, in a way. Despite the ticks and the seemingly uncontrolled anger he's interesting in a way no one else is. I don't want him to hurt my friends but I don't want to stay away from him. If he really snaps I'm sure I still have the chance to call the Batman or the police in Gotham. But for now I want to explore this some more. At least a little. I've never been this relaxed and excited at the same time before. It's pushing my adrenaline up every time he's just close to me. And if all of this comes to an end, whether it's him leaving or me calling the Batman, I can say 'Thanks for the Memories' and go back to living the way I always did.

_Except of course, somebody finds out about this. I have the be very careful of this will end far different tha n I hope..._

With a yelp I sit up as BabyDoll licks through my face, the water from her fur dripping onto me while that. I push her off with a hiss and wipe over my face,

'' Oh come on! '' I glare at her and glance then up at the sky, I must be here for a while now. It's getting darker slowly. I get to my feet and whistle to attract every animal's attention. Rather slowly we walk back to the hideout… until I realize that I'm not coming any closer to the house. It's gotten rather dark by the time I stop to look around, my eyes wide. 

_Where am I…? Which tree leads back to the hideout?_ _How could I get lost so easily…?!_

I look down at the Dogs and Hyenas that look expecting at me before sighing in defeat. I trained my dogs to find the way home if I command them to but I'm not sure if they see the house as home. If I tell them to find the way home now… will they try to find the way back to my apartment? 

__It's not like I got much of a choice..._ _

'' BabyDoll, Hannibal, home! '' While the Hyenas look around between me and the dogs, the two older animals abruptly start to sniff around until Hannibal starts running as soon as he picks up a trace. I do my best to keep up with them, even if they're small, the Hyenas definitively have a speed I can't hold up to and don't get me started about my dogs. To that comes, I never liked running except I do it under adrenaline. I stop running as I finally see the house in far distance. I breathe out released. I don't even want to imagine the scenario of having to call Joker and tell him I got lost in the forest. He would never let me live that down. Never.

In the dark I can barely see the house . I still wonder who built it, this is a nature reserve for many years now . On the other hand, the house looks old. It could have been built here centuries ago for all I know. I smile and run my fingers through my hair,

'' That was great! Good dogs, you get something nice for the effort. '' They happily follow me into the kitchen where I hand each of them some vegetarian sausages. I watch them chewing everything for a moment but stroll then into the living room. It's still rather tidy and clean. The plates and pans are nowhere to be seen and the table was wiped clean. 

__I hope they cleaned the pans too instead of just putting them dirty back into the cabin._ _

I decide against checking that and get comfortable on the big sofa. Maybe the house was built long ago but there was somebody living here not all too long ago. The sofa is pretty new and so is the TV. That can't be older than 10 years. I shrug my shoulders and grab for the remote to switch on the TV. The time at the corner says it's 11:37pm. 

__I forgot time again… My grasp on time is_ _ __completely_ _ __gone but I don't know why… Well, at least the animals had a long time to play._ _

Rather bored I skip through the channels. This is just the basic TV program, no Disney Channel, no Animax, no RTL Crime or RTL Nitro. I watch a soap for a little while until the show gets interrupted and the screen shows 'Breaking News'. A sternly dressed woman holds a couple of papers in her head, she seems almost angry but there's fear in her eyes. At the top corner the picture of a very familiar, grinning face pops up,

 

 _ '' The  _ _ self-called  _ _ Clown Prince of Crime,  _ _ The Joker,  _ _ has blown up a  _ _ Restaurant in Hamburg only half an hour ago. The explosion came too quickly for any of the 25 victims to escape the fire. A family that wanted to enter the restaurant was driven to the hospital only a few minutes after the incident. The married couple Tessa and David K are fighting to survive, luckily their child was barely hurt. We wish them  _ _ a quick recovery  _ _ .  _ _ ''  _

I sit up slowly as a video starts to play. It's a recording from a police car that's following one of Joker's Vans. The door open quickly and I see Logan and Anthony shooting at the car with simple handguns. As a bullet seems to break through the windshield, the recording stops. I feel my heart beating faster in my chest as the woman comes back to the screen, 

_ ''  _ _ Ladies and Gentlemen, as you can see several Police forces are after the dangerous Psychopath. They're driving on the highway towards Berlin. Please, if you're on that road, leave the highway abruptly and drive into the other direction. Under all circumstances try to avoid getting into the chase.  _ _ ''  _

The woman stops talking as a man walks up to her, whispers in her ear a moment and hands her a new piece of paper. I feel my stomach twisting. She looks shocked but not in a bad way. .. 

_ '' We  _ _ just  _ _ received  _ _ the message that the Joker pushed a man out of the Van who was severely injured. In that process an officer managed to shoot him but it is not for sure how many times. He did, however, see how the Joker was hit and fell back into the car before 2 of his goons shut the door close. They then threw something like a smoke pellet and the police lost their traces. For now there's no  _ _ other hint that leads to the Van or the Joker. The Police is warning everyone close to that area to be very careful.  _

_ More news to the as soon as we have them.  _ _ ''  _

By now my hands cover my mouth and I feel my body trembling slightly, my eyes wide in shock. The sudden news that Joker was shot forces me to pull my knees tightly to my chest. I shut my eyes close and bite into my lip before fumbling for my phone. I try to call Joker but he's not answering which really isn't adding up a good mood. Before I can even think about anything else, the picture switches from the woman to another video but this one is shaky and shows a purple suit for a moment be fore moving up to Joker's face, 

_ '' Hellooooo Germany! _

_ Sooo what d'ya thi- _ __ ink _ _ _ ~ of ma little, uh, _ __ surprise?! _ _ _ Wasn't this a  _ __ beautiful _ _ _ , hehe,  _ __ fire _ _ _? I'm sure it got all of yer lives a little less boring. But oooh, shush shush, don't be sad. It's not over yet!  _ __ Not. At. All _ _ _.  _ __ Tomorrow _ _ __ night _ _ _ I will blow up a church and  _ __ you, _ _ _ my dear lil' people, can all  _ __ watch _ _ _ and  _ __ enjoy _ _ _! But that isn't the best of all!  _ **_ No  _ ** ** !  ** _ Ya all can  _ choose _ which one! The  _ _ C _ _ o _ _ p _ _ s will find 5 detonators and until tomorrow night, let's say... 11 _ _? Yeah 11 sounds good,, _ _ ya have time to choose! -Oh! If ya don't choose one, I will let ma, hehe, ma _ __ lil' darlin'  _ _ _ sweetheart _ _ choose one~ So think fast! Or d'ya all want to leave the whole  _ __ fun _ _ _ to her? Otherwise, if ya more like the surprise, be ma guest! ...S _ __ leep tig _ _ _ ht, peoples  _ _ and good prayers _ _! _

__ HAHAHAHAHAHA! MHMHMAHAHAHA  _ _ _ ! ''  _

 

That video was filmed not long after the restaurant exploded. He wasn't shot and I still hear the police cars following them in the background. This isn't helping, I need to know what's going on. What if they hit any organs and Joker's dying right now? Before I can force myself to calm down I jump to my feet and run outside. Wait for someone to come, wait for a car to pull up. I need the m to get here now, to bring a laughing Joker that's completely fine and only acted like he was shot. In my distress I grab into my pants and pull out the pack of smokes and a light. My hands are shaking as I lighten the cigarette and place it between my lips. I breathe in the toxic smoke quicker than usual, allowing it to fog my senses a little but the nervousness doesn't stop. The headlights of a car approaching makes me move a little closer to the forest while stomping out the cigarette . Only a few inches before me one of the Vans stops while the other 2 park around me. I see Mason giving me a nervous look through the windshield while Steve and Anthony rip open the door to carry out Joker. He's unconscious, he's bleeding. He was shot. The smallest tingle of raw anger runs through me but the worry for the injured man chokes it down before it has the chance to grow. My glance move s around, a couple of the others are hurt too but mostly it's just small scratches. My attention soon is back on Anthony and Steve who drag Joker close up to me, 

'' What do we do? '' Steve asks, his voice tensed but he seems to be waiting for… orders? My lips part in confusion as I realize everyone's giving me that look by now. Like they expect me to tell them what to do now.

_Why are they awaiting orders from me? I'm a goddamn Teenager, not a Doctor! How should I know what to do!_

'' Huh? Uh... uhm... I-I think it's best when you get him to his bed. '' I watch how they abruptly do what I say and carry him into his room. I need a few seconds to kick myself out of the shock and follow them inside and into Joker's room with unsteady steps. In the door I see them carefully placing him on the bed after someone ripped down the blanket so that he can lie flatly on his back.

'' Can you take care of the injuries? '' One of the guys whose name I don't know asks behind me so that I turn around shocked,

'' Are you serious? I don't even know how to properly stitch a pair of pants, I don't want to try it on a human. Where's the Doc? '' I ask and look around but can't find him anywhere.

'' Boss killed him. That son of a bitch was makin' problems again so Boss cut him open and tossed him outa the car. ''

'' He was the body that got tossed out of the car?! Couldn't he have waited until you guys were back here!? Why didn't anyone try to stop him?! ''

'' You kiddin'? We were glad he was the only one ending like that! J was fuckin' furious! '' Logan says now. My teeth grit in both anger and frustration but my voice becomes only a small whisper,

'' I can't stitch him up... I'm really _really_ bad at needlework. I barely manage to repair my cloths in case they rip open. ''

'' He'll bleed out! '' Mason barks, taking a step closer. I wince. It's not like I wouldn't know that but I don't want to make it worse than it already is.

'' Why can't anyone of you do that? Shouldn't you guys be capable to take care of stuff like that yourself? ''

'' Except small stitches none of us can really do anything. That's why we had the Doc. ''

'' But I'm not a Doctor! I'm not a medicine student or the daughter of surgeons! I could make this worse! ''

'' Look at him, he's dying anyway, there's not much you could make worse. We don't have the hands for that. My fingers were broken so many times I can barely hold a pencil properly. '' I look back to Joker. I feel the smallest tingle of fear in the back of my mind. I don't exactly love him but I don't want to kill him either and if I just wait it out he'll loose too much blood. I mean it's not like we can just get him to the hospital. I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face, taking a deep breathe,

''...I was always pretty good at that Operation game and I payed attention in Scrubs and the Walking Dead… That will have to do. '' I force my trembling frame to calm a little and turn to face the others, clapping into my hands,

'' I need the first aid kid, a bowl of warm water, a small soft towel and a needle with a threat. If you got any morphine, that would be great. '' Without questioning me any further they all start running around like the devil's on their heels. I didn't think that they would be this eager to keep Joker alive. I mean, sure, he pays them but it's not like he's the most friendly or safest person to be around. On the other hand, Steve did mention that he leaves them space if they don't annoy him. It doesn't take long until everything I asked for is in front of me. I look down at my hands and go into the bathroom to wash them, I don't want anything to get infected. As soon as I'm back at Joker's side, Anthony hands me an injection. I eye the drug a moment but take it anyway. He observes me closely a moment before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. The suspicious look in his eyes causes me to halt a moment… The silence that suddenly comes up is almost suffocating. There's too much Morphine in the syringe for just one person, that's enough for two. I want to close my eyes again, try to relax but I know I don't have time for that. Or for doubts or panic about the amount of Morphine. I bite my lip, I could easily take a shot myself but I usually don't inject this. With quick steps I approach the man on the bed, the needle clasped in my shaky hands. It's rather easy to get him out of his coat, vest and shirt. My eyes narrow a little as I see the scars on his body. Most of them seem old and fainted but there's one that goes square over his chest. It's deep and still healing but I don't think it's so new. It more seems like he was picking on it.

_Did he do some of those himself…?_

With my eyes shut I shake my head to get those thoughts away.

_This is not the time, I can think about that later._

He's got a bullet wound in his right shoulder closely beneath his collar bone, another one through his chest and his leg is bleeding at the side. His chest is worrying me the most. As I examine it closer though, something catches my attentiveness. My eyes narrow as I look closer at that one wound. For such a dangerous spot that's this close to his heart it's bleeding far to less. Not that I'm complaining, I just find it odd. Except, of course, it's not a typical bullet. But even a, let's call it weak bullet would kill him. I better take care of this one first. I take a quick look at the wound on his leg to make sure no artery was hit and he can't bleed out on me while I get back to the wound on his chest. I grab for the towel but abruptly toss is aside again. It's far too rough, I don't really want to use it for this. I scan the room for any other towel I can use but there's simply nothing here that's clean or soft enough. With a heavy heart I grab my jacket and cut the lower part of it off. After tossing the damaged jacket aside I dip the shred into the warm water and start cleaning off his wounds.

'' Really… would it kill you to shower? '' I murmur as I see the dirt coming off with the blood and the layer of sweat. As soon as the wound's clean, I see what's really stuck between his ribs. It's not a bullet, that's for sure. It more looks like a dart or something like that. Maybe drugs to knock him out. I grab a pair of tweezers out of the first aid kit and carefully grab a hold of the thing. I would feel a lot more comfortable if I could inject him the morphine but if it's really some drug, injecting even more of this could cause some serious damage on his brain.

'' Not for nothing, but you got enough problems up there...'' The moment the arms of the tweezers wrap around the thing, I pull it out of his chest in one quick movement. Joker gives a small grunt and in my shock I almost drop the tweezers. My eyes stay on his face for what feels like an eternity, waiting if he wakes up or not. I breathe out when I'm certain that he won't and observe the tiny object. It really kind of looks like a mix of a bullet and a dart. The sharp end that allowed it to subtly enter his body without causing the damage a bullet would holds what looks like a tiny container for the drug. The wound in his chest isn't half as bad as I feared. I don't even think it needs stitches. On the other hand, he's stubborn and not exactly the cleanest person. If I don't stitch it and it gets infected this could get really dangerous. I clean the wound on his shoulder too and move down to take a closer look at his leg. I would say that a bullet pierced through his flesh far enough at the side that his skin simply burst open. It almost looks like someone slashed it with a knife, just a lot messier. The smell is making me sick and I'm not even talking about the blood itself. I grit my teeth and cover my nose with my arm as I realize that my hands are drenched in blood. Joker's blood.

_I'm taking too much time for this. I got to work faster._

Before I really grab for the torn piece of my jacket again, I realize that I won't be able to reach the injury like I should with him having his pants on. I feel frozen all of the sudden, my cheeks feeling uncomfortably hot. I look at the button like it would bite me and swallow hard.

_This needs to be done. It's on his upper leg, I can't just pull up the pants and move around it._

Shaking my head I quickly fumble with the button and get him out of his pants. With slight release I notice the boxers. I already feared he wouldn't wear any because I really see him as the type of guy for that. I toss the pants to the pile where the other parts of his suit are and clean the wound on his leg before grabbing the tweezers again. I carefully pull the bullet out of his shoulder and clean the wound again, just to make sure. Next thing I reach out for is the disinfectant spray. Joker isn't even flinching as I put a good lot of it onto the injuries. He really is out like a candle. I wonder how much of whatever that stuff is was in this small dart. I don't think Joker's the person that's easily silenced with drugs. I put down the spray and look at the needle with the thread next to it. My heart beats faster in my chest and my hands start to tremble again. With a frustrated growl I ruffle through my hair but grab both utensils then to disinfect them carefully and attach the thread to the needle. Painfully slow I lower the needle on his skin, ready to make the first stitch... only to realize that I can't.

'' I don't wan t to do that! Why does this suicidal idiot even have to get himself shot in the first place ! I swear I'll get a heart-attack one day ! '' I turn back to face him, my shoulders lowering. 

__If I don't do it… no one else will._ _

I sit back down next to him and lower the needle to his skin. Before I can change my mind once more, I push the needle into his skin. I feel a shudder running down my back but I force myself to keep going. Step by step I sink the needle into his flesh and pull it out again at another spot to make sure the wound can heal nicely. Joker's not moving but I feel the muscles in his arm and shoulder twitching each time I sink the needle into his body. Without taking a break I go straight for the smaller hole on his chest and sew it shut and careful as I can. I once more stop though at the injury on his leg. His skin is torn apart, I don't even know how to start here. Hesitating I push his skin together a little and messily try to stitch it up as good as I can, which isn't really good. While stitching him up, new blood runs out of his wounds so that I find myself once more cleaning and disinfecting everything before sticking a compress over each scar. After that I wrap a bandage around his upper body and arm and another one around his leg. I inspect everything closely to look for any mistake I made but the bandages are not too tight and everything is nice and clean. Nodding to myself I get to my knees in front of the bed and pull out Joker's suitcase. There's really not much civil clothing, especially nothing that seems comfortable and loose-fit. I see an old police uniform, ripped suit jackets, a couple of pants and maybe 2 simple shirts. After tossing everything out of the suitcase and putting it back in I give up and leave the room. As soon as I open the door I find everyone looking at me. The ones that leaned at the wall or sat on the ground stand up,

'' How's he? '' Logan asks, glancing past me before I close the door. I swallow hard and nod, more to myself than to them,

'' I hope good… I did what I could but I've never done this before. '' I shudder as I allow the picture of the needle going through Joker's skin come up in my head again. It's not mentally scaring me or too disgusting or gory for me to take. I saw a lot of people getting stitches. It's just different when it's Joker that's hurt. He seems so powerful, like nothing can hurt him.

'' That's good enough I would say. Boss ' s tough. He's had worse. He just never was unconscious. Those stitches he usually did on his own. ''

'' The... thing in his chest was a dart or something like that... I… think it was some kind of drug. That's why he's out. I'm glad it wasn't a bullet. A bullet in this area... would have killed him. '' I say slowly, my head pounding as the adrenaline I was on disappears in the blink of an eye. I feel nauseous, the shaking in my hands is getting worse again so I cross my arms tightly over my chest. My whole body feels strange, almost as if I'm in pain but at the same time I'm not.

'' Does anyone have a pair of sweatpants for him? '' I finally ask and watch Daniel nodding before rushing to his room . Anthony gives a dry chuckle, his back tensed and his eyes tired. Were they waiting here the whole time? I must have been in there at least half an hour, if not even a full hour.

'' Ya stripped the Boss off his pants? Oh, if only ol ' Marcus could see that. '' I smirk for a moment and take the sweatpants out of Daniel's hands with a smile,

'' Thanks. Let me guess, there's no one going to help me put those on him? '' Steve gives me a look that tells me clearly that this won't be happening.

'' Yes yes, I'm the interest, you're the employees. I get it. '' I throw my hands up in frustration and get back to Joker, hearing a couple of them laugh behind me. As soon as the door's closed, I lean my back against it and breathe out. My eyes fall close and for a moment I allow my body to slack forwards. There's a buzzing on my ears and my limbs tingle. I don't know what this is but now that I'm not so pumped with adrenaline and concern for Joker, the strange feeling seems to push itself in front.

Whatever it is, I don't have time for it. Joker's injuries are taken care of but he's not back on his feet yet.

I push myself back into a straight position and walk up to the bed,

'' You better be really nice to me as soon as you wake up…'' I mutter as I look at him. He doesn't flinch. With only little trouble I get him into the pants and cover his body then tenderly with the blanket . Looks like the internship in the Hospital was worth something after all. Even though I have to say, watching people getting treated and having to take care of something like this myself is worlds apart.

I clean the bowl with the water and take the towel the guys brought me to place it on his head after drenching it in cold water. Mentally I thank every game and TV show that prepared me for this. Especially the Walking Dead was helpful. I sit down next to him again and place my head in my hands, faintly glancing over his scars again. At some point I reach out to touch the one that goes straight across his torso. I feel the soft, slightly elevated skin under my finger and can't help but wonder about how this particular one happened. Who caused it and why? It doesn't look like Joker did that himself but I can imagine that he picked on it because on some parts it looks a little ripped.

It takes around 4 hours, of which I spent a little over 2 hours sleeping and the rest playing Pokemon on my phone before Joker finally moves and seems to slowly wake up. I abruptly put my phone onto the table next to the bed and lean over him. Before he can open his eyes I back off a few inches. I don't think it would be good to just tower over a man like Joker just after he wakes up from being drugged. I don't want him to kill me because some strange instinct of his is kicking in all of the sudden. I do, however, softly cover one of his hands with mine and give it a light squeeze,

'' Joker? Can you hear me? '' My voice is a soft whisper. I try to avoid giving him any reason to be paranoid. I never had him unconscious before me, I don't know how he will react. He groans tiredly, his lips twitching and his tongue licking over dry lips. I feel his hand tremble under mine but I'm not sure if he wants to pull away because he doesn't recognize me or if it's just trembling for no big reason . I give it another squeeze but leave him then the chance to pull away by loosening my grip ,

'' Joker… it's me, Angeli-… Angel. '' His eyes barely open. They're blood-shot, hollow. He looks almost fragile right now, like it would be so easy to break him in two. He shouldn't be looking like this. He's The Joker, he's making others look like this. To have him in front of me in this state is almost painful. He lost a lot of blood, it's only normal that he looks like that now but that's not making this better.

'' Angel… why… here? '' My head titles to the side in confuse. I tighten my grip on his hand again and lean closer,

'' What are you talking about? ''

'' Ya should be… at the house…'' 

__He thinks he's still in the car. ...Is he worried? ...About me…?_ _

'' Joker, you're not in the car anymore. You're at home, safe. One of the shots that hit you was a drug. You were unconscious for almost 5 hours. I… did my best to stitch you up but you maybe should avoid abrupt movements…'' He doesn't answer me for some time but I think he understood me.

'' Do you need anything? ''

'' How bout a kiss to ease the pain? ''

'' I'm serious... I still got that injection with Morphine if you're in pain or I could get the towel wet again so that you can put it on your head. Water in general would probably be good. I'll get you something to drink so that your circulation can go back to normal and- ''

'' Ya keep talkin' like that, yer gonna swallow yer tongue, my lil' Rebel. '' My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I turn my head away. I hear him chuckle,

'' I'm fine darlin', nothing to worry yer pretty head about. See, no pain, no wail, '' As he tries to swing his legs over the edge to get out of the bed, I rush to my feet and push him back down with a stern expression,

'' Oh no, you will be a nice Joker and stay in bed. See yourself chained to it for the next couple of days. You were _shot_ , you need to _rest_. ''

'' _Haha_ ! Ya think _you_ can order _me_ around? '' He asks laughing, making me rise an eyebrow at him while crossing my arms,

'' I stitched you up. I'm pretty sure that offers me the right to tell you to rest. ''

'' Doesn't matter anyway, I got business tomorrow. ''

'' To blow up the churches? Postpone it somehow. ''

'' Postpone it? This ain't a dinner date Angel. ''

'' But only because The Batman won't be there. '' I remark coolly on what a smirk tugs at his lips. He makes no move to object, not that it would be necessary. He titles his head down a moment, probably thinking up something but stops as he notices the change of clothing. His smirk grows,

'' Enjoyed the view? ''

'' It was necessary to take care of your injuries. '' I weakly say in defense, my arms crossing over my chest but I feel the tingle of red on my cheeks.

'' If ya wanted a show, ya could've asked. Except, of course, yer more into the secret way. ''

'' Do you call me a potential pervert? _You_? '' He fakes a look of innocence, his lip curled in a pout,

'' What's that supposed to mean? ''

'' You were watching me. How many times did you look while I was changing? '' I ask with my eyebrow raised

'' Not often, ya always closed the curtains. ''

'' Obviously there's a good thing about my paranoia after all. ''

'' You forgot 'em after you smoked. '' He adds with a smirk. I'm pretty sure that I'm blushing now.

'' I could sue you for so many things…'' My fingers come up to my head to rub my temples in frustration. He laughs but leans back, his arm behind his head to allow him to look up at me,

'' A lot of people could sue me for a lot Angel, you gotta stand in line. Coming to important matters... Ya saw my video. Ya got any church in mind that's blocking your view? '' I narrow my eyes at him,

'' I will not help you blow up a church. ''

'' Why not? It's so _much fun_! The belltower, the organ. Having that explode is a masterpiece! '' There's a child-like excitement in his eyes and to be honest I like this expression so much more than the weakness from before. I sigh and sit down on the bed next to him,

'' I will think about it. But there will be a condition. '' He smirks almost proudly, his tongue flickering over his dry lips and his hand making an absent movement for me to go on,

'' You won't blow it up tomorrow. If you stay in bed for 2 days and rest, I pick a church. '' His glance becomes disappointed

'' Ah that's _not fair_ ya know? Ya can't put me on a , a h, _a leash_! ''

'' I sure as hell can! You lost a lot of blood and still have god knows what in your system! I have zero experience with stitches, okay? The closest I ever came to doing stitches was as I tried to repair that hole in my pants and I made it _worse_! ''

'' And eh… why exactly did ya stitch me up then? ''

'' Because you moron killed the only Doctor! The only reason I had any kind of idea what to do was because of my obsession with The Walking Dead! ''

'' Bastard made problems. It was my good right to do fire him. ''

'' You didn't fire him for being an asshole, you killed him because you were angry! You were waiting for the next best excuse to come up to kill that man because of what he said to me! Because he didn't listen to you like a mindless little chess figure! I'm not from some Hardcore-City like you but don't think for one moment that I'm stupid! '' My anger's blocking my mind. I know that if I leave him the time to give a retort to this I can't hold up right now so I turn on my heels and stomp out of the room to fetch something to drink from the kitchen. Growling I open the fridge and get a water bottle out of it,

'' Boss woke up eh? ''

'' How do you know? '' I ask with every ounce of sarcasm I posses. He chuckles and steps closer, fetching the bottle from my hand before I can put it away again,

'' Cause you guys are bickering like an old married couple. Impressive though. ''

'' What is? ''

'' You're really not getting what ya did there, d'ya? You just _grounded_ the _Joker_ , sweetheart. That's not exactly normal. ''

'' Steve's right. Last time one of us tried to order him around like you just did… Well, d'ya know what a hunting knife does to your organs? '' I wince at the picture, a cold shudder running over my back.

'' What did he even say that Joker got this mad? '' A sudden slightly awkward silence fills the room, no one meeting my eye anymore. It doesn't take a lot of thinking to realize that the reason for the fight was me, again. With a groan I raise my arms,

'' Oh come on, really? '' I put my hands on my hips and look at the men in front of me,

'' What did he say? ''

'' Full story or summary? ''

'' Quotes. ''

'' Uh let's see… 'Fuckin' bitch can't just order me around.'… ''s not like she's any special.' '' Anthony starts.

'' 'That whore's just a fucking problem. She's gonna get us all killed cause she's spooking around in yer head.' '' Liam continues and shrugs his shoulders,

'' Went all pretty quick from then on. Was really stupid of him to talk like that though. Boss was in a good mood till then. ''

'' 's not like that would be the first time though. He was going on about ya all the time. Bitching around like a fucking teenager- no offense. '' I shrug it off. No reason to be mad at something that's true.

'' He wouldn't stop even after Boss warned him. I guess the fella didn't think he would actually kill 'im. ''

'' J really got furious, you don't usually see him like that. '' I blink at him a moment, looking around a little in the small crowd of men. All of them don't look like they would want to object to what Steve said in any way. I feel my head buzzing strangely while my legs seem to move on their own, getting me slowly back to Joker's room. My thoughts become a collection of pure chaos, I never had someone that reacted this strongly about me. How would he react if I tell him about my ex-stalker then? What about that guy that tried to kill me, the ones that I fight with? He would probably rip them apart. I thought Joker was this mad the whole time because the Doc was giving him retort instead of blindly doing what he was ordered to. I never thought he could be like this because of me.

I swiftly slide into the room and close the door behind me, taking a small breathe before turning.After closing the door silently I turn only to find Joker gone without a trace and the window open. My eyes widen and I sprint to the window, leaning out to look around. There's no trace of him anywhere so I run into the bathroom but that one's empty too.

'' Are you fucking kidding me…''

_Where could he have gone? He didn't jump out of the window, did he? Is he so desperate to fucking-_

Suddenly someone tackles me from behind while screaming in my ear. Out of shock I scream too, our bodies falling onto the bed. Out of instinct I start trashing under the person, my nails scratching over skin, my knee making contact with a stomach until a pair of hands catch me on my wrist and two legs pin me to the bed. The sudden sound of a very familiar laugh above me causes me to instantly halt in my movements. My eyes widen as I stare into Joker's happy face, his mouth wide open as he laughs at me.

'' Wasn't that, haha, _fun?! I-haha_ , I didn't know you can scream that _loud_! '' I feel myself fighting with the sudden urge to use the position we're in to bite through his artery!

 

* * *

 

 

At a sudden loud scream from the Boss and the following sqreech of Angie we stop and look to the door before exchanging a glance.

'' What happened? ''

'' Sounded like Boss scared her. ''

'' I don't think that will end well for him…'' A few of us shudder on the thought of what could possible happen now. Truth be told, the girl can be fucking scary. After what she did with the Doc and how she grounded J, no one of us really wants to try to piss her off more than the playful picking. There's gotta be a reason that J likes her after all.

'' I hope he's well enough to run for his life…''

'' She wouldn't kill him … would she? ''

'' No idea man- ''

'' _I'LL KILL YOU!_ '' Angeline suddenly yells.

'' Anymore questions? ''

'' Man she sounds pissed. ''

'' Fuck…''

'' Maybe we need a new Boss… ''

'' I hope not. Y'know how the people in Gotham treat guys that worked for J once and survived being 'fired'. ''

'' I doubt that we live long enough to see that… 's soon as she's done with the Boss she's coming for us I tell ya. ''

'' How about asking the cops for help?

'' Yeah… I really don't wanna face the girl after she killed him. ''

'' Maybe he's good enough to run. '' Just in that moment we hear a door blasting open and crashing against the wall. In not even a second the Joker runs past us and out of the house, Angie following close behind him.

'' Oh good he can run, means he still has a chance…''

'' Not when she is faster. ''

'' Jesus the girl looks furious...''

'' How about we _now_ get to the cops and ask for sanctuary? '' We look at each other as we see both of them disappearing inside the forest...

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as she's out of the door, I lean back with a grin. I gotta admit that I'm impressed. This girl really found a way to get to me. Laughter rips through my lungs as I think about where this could go. So there is something interesting in this dull piece of land after all, wonderful! The worry in her eyes was quickly covered in anger but the tremble in her body remained. I bet my left arm that it's turkey by now. She's here for some time now without a new dose, her body's gonna fight her like a bitch. I could easily get her a new hit, it's not especially hard to get morphine or those pills. My eyes move to the injection on the desk. It's full, completely full. Far too much for the dose I would need so I guess Anthony gave her the injection. He was the one telling me about the possibility of an addiction. I send him after her the moment we settled in her after getting away from the cops. That's why I took it on myself to watch her, I needed to see that myself to consider my next move. She had the chance to take a hit and say she gave it to me but she didn't. I'd say she didn't consider this but she's not stupid and she's a junkie. So why didn't she use the chance? I tuck a finger under the bandage to take a look at her stitches. They'll do but they're not especially good. Impressive, I didn't think she'd have the guts to do this. Not that I'm complaining. None of the guys that would be capable to do this would have done it. They're too afraid to mess up. Doc was the only one that had the balls for that. Even though those balls where what brought him the end he got. Who is he to give me orders anyway? I really enjoyed stabbing his eyes out and slitting him open, to have him screaming and crying in front of me, begging me to forgive him. Forgive him, like he didn't just fuck up again.

My eyes move to the door. I faintly hear muffled voices outside but the walls here are thick what makes it impossible for me to really hear anything. Marcus isn't the only one that crossed a line with me though. And just the fact that turkey's gonna be a pain in her ass soon doesn't change the fact that I gotta repay Angel too somehow.

When she enters the room silently I'm hiding behind the waredrobe in the corner. If I'd be built like Bats she would spot me in a second but so I can fit perfectly in the smaller space. Angel's face twists into confuse as she looks at the empty bed. She holds a tray in her hand. From my position I can only see a glass of water and something to eat, I can't exactly say what it is though. What I can see, however, is the shaking of her hands and the slight paleness of her face. After placing the tray on the desk she makes her way to the bathroom.

'' Are you fucking kidding me…'' My lips spread into a wide grin as she looks out of the window that I opened before hiding. She's actually falling for that one. The slight annoyance switches surprisingly fast into worry as she runs her fingers through her hair. Angel soon goes back to the bed to probably get her phone. 

_My poor lil' Rebel, look how worried she is. I really should be ashamed of myself! I better show myself to 'er!_

Without making a sound I sneak up close to her. As I realize she could see me out of the corners of her eyes any moment I move faster and tackle her with a loud scream into her ear. She flinches furiously under me, her mouth opening to cry out in shock. We fall onto the bed. She loses no time to start trashing under me. I manage to pin her down at some point but not before her knee made contact with my stomach and her nails scratched over my arm. When I finally have her secured she seems to realize what is happening because she instantly freezes and glances up at me.

'' Wasn't that, _haha, fun?!_ I-haha, I didn't know you _can_ _scream_ that _loud_! '' A few seconds pass in silence, her eyes gaining more and more anger while that what gives them a dangerouse sparkle. My grin is teasing, pushing her even more over the edge.

'' _I_ _'ll kill you!_ '' With all her strength she starts kicking under me again to wiggle out of my grip. _I gotta admit she's stronger than I thought, it's almost impossible to hold her down. Not even this much because of her strength but because she worms out of my grip like a snake._

'' Oooo feisty! I love a girl who plays rough! '' That's the last string she needs to kick me off her so that I fall back, hitting the ground with my back what knocks some air out of my lungs. She's on me in a heartbeat. I watch her withdrawing her fist in the attempt to punch me but before her knuckles can make the faintest contact with my jaw, I catch her wrists and flip us over so that she's under me again. I can feel the stitches stretching from the moving.

'' Know what, I really like this view. I could get used to that one. '' She suddenly stops the trashing and glares up at me. My mouth opens to ask what's putting her panties in a twist but as I feel her leg moving to the side to make another go at my crotch I quickly get off her and dash out of the room. It doesn't take long before I hear her running after me. I don't know how deep we run into the forest but as I begin to feel the air leaving my lungs and my legs getting weaker I look behind me to see her still close up to me. The drug they gave me and the injuries might slow me down somewhat but I'm used to run a lot, Angel will be tired at some point. Not long after that thought crossed my mind I hear her tripping and falling to the ground behind me. I stop a few meters away from her but she makes no move to get back up. Did she hit her head? Slowly I kneel down beside her and stretch my hand out to tap her shoulder. Angel abruptly uses her chance. She turns, grabs my hand and pulls me over her so that I soon lie on the ground with her on top of me. Angel straightens her back as she grins down at me. I chuckle,

'' Well I didn't see that one coming. Seems like you got me. _What_ _now_? '' Her eyes lock with mine, almost keeping me from looking away, a new expression on her face I haven't seen yet. She suddenly leans down to me slowly, her face only inches from mine. _I smirk at her,_

'' Now… we go back and you will be a nice Joker and lie down…'' Her voice has a lower tone, her breathe ghosting over my lips almost seducitively. Her eyes sparkle with playfulness but my smirk drops at her words. _I'm not sure if she's oblivious or simply not interested in the possibilities we have right now but she suddenly_ _stands up_ _._ _She holds her hand out to me, a silent offer to help me to my feet but I rise before her hand really stopped moving. She gives me a look but shrugs then her shoulders and turns her back to me. There's something itching in my mind._ _I quickly catch her_ _on her_ _wrist to_ _stop_ _her_ _from walking away_ _._ Her eyes narrow a little as she titles her head in confuse what allows some of her hair to falls into her face,

'' What's wrong? ''

 

* * *

 

 

'' Joker? '' He gives no reaction, no hint that he heard me. He's comepletely spaced out. It's not that I have a problem with waiting for him to snap out of whatever he's in right now but my body begins to feel all fuzzy again. Warm, cold, pain, no pain. All at the same time on the same level. I feel my hands shaking again. All I want right now is to get back into Joker's room where the syringe is. I just need a little bit, he won't even notice that something's missing. I could have taken some as he was out, I was alone and could easily have claimed that I gave him some and I didn't take it. And now my body's showing the results. I feel nauseaus and the running didn't exactly help. Joker's grip on my wrist tightens and the fact that he had a vice-grip on that one before doesn't exactly make this more comfortable. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's sprained by now. Something suddenly seems strange about him. He wasn't that silent for that long since he woke up and I really doubt that it's something because of the meds. I try to carefully pull my arm free but as his grip suddenly tightens my teeth grit, pain shooting through my whole arm. Out of instinct my other hand moves to peel his fingers away but he soon catches that wrist too. I yelp as he suddenly sits up, his face only inches from mine and his eyes roaming over every inch of my body he can see from his angle. There's a lump forming in my throat that I can't seem to swallow. I wouldn't call this situation exactly frightening yet but it has something very uncomfortable.

'' Joker- '' Suddenly his hands move from my wrists to my upper arm and he pushes me back until my back crashes against a tree. I wince at the contact, a small gasp leaving my lips but it's quickly swallowed as his lips press themselves demandingly on my own. I need a moment to work out what is happening. My eyes widen, staring right into his. He's looking at me, maybe to watch my reaction. The weak noise of protest I give is completely muffled. I put my hands against his chest, giving them the faintest push. Only now I realize how bad my hands are actually shaking, I'm sure he can feel it. I'm sure he knows why they're shaking. His grip on my shoulders tightens what abruptly calls me back to the fact that the Joker's still kissing me. One hand moves from my arm to cup my cheek and title my head to the side what allows him to deepen the kiss. I give another muffled noise but the thought to push him away is fading from my mind. I lean back into the tree, my eyes slowly falling close as my fingers curl into his shirt. I feel him smirking slightly into the kiss. I don't know why he kisses me but right now I can't exactly say that I find it very unpleasant. I can feel the scars on his mouth brushing over my skin when he moves his lips against mine. The ripped skin is softer than his lips which feel a little rough. With one hand still in his shirt, the other moves up to his neck, my palm pressing on his skin. He breaks the kiss after a while. The moment I feel his lips leaving mine I open my mouth to allow new oxygene to fill my lungs. Except the natural noises the forest makes and our breathing there's no noise around us. When I open my eyes I find him looking at me. There's no real emotion in his eyes. While I can feel the heat in my cheeks and the heat running through my body he seems completely unaffected by the kiss. Joker then steps back and begins to walk away. As he notices that I don't follow immediantly he stops and turns towards me,

'' You coming? ''

'' What was that. '' My voice is dry but not as demanding as I wanted it to be. Suddenly the corners of his mouth turn upwards into a smile. Not a grin or a smirk, a smile. The tense in my body lessens somewhat.

'' Either you come along or I leave ya behind. '' As much as I would love to just demand an answer, the memory of the last time I got lost quickly makes me follow him. I walk behind him, always a step or two away from him and with that out of his reach. He makes no attempt to walk beside me or talk to me. For his usual loud personallity he's oddly quiet. Right now I can't say that I enjoy the silence. It gives me more time to find more and more questions I want to ask but know already that he won't answer them. I force down the grunt as I trip over something. Even though it was just a branch it feels like my whole foot broke. This isn't good. I need 2 minutes alone in Joker's room and I'm fine. Joker only faintly glances back at me as he hears me halfway falling over the branch. The smile made him look less threatening and somewhat more human. More normal. Not like that coldblooded homicidal maniac he usually protrays. He wears that dark shirt I saw in his bag before, I guess he put it on before he hid. Why did he kiss me? Is he trying to wrap me around his finger? Maybe he's right and I'm considering too much but I feel that, if I don't consider, I might lose to him. That's what it is, a game. And Joker likes to play dirty, to use every opportunity he has to win. But I'm not some brainless kid that blindly falls in love with whoever shows affection to me. I might be a teenager but the time where hormones got the better of me are over.

'' Alexander! '' I suddenly call out as I spot the familiar eagle sitting on a tree.

'' Alex- what now? '' I ignore him and step closer to the branch on which the by now grown eagle-buzzard sits. I smile as he comes down to land on my shoulder. He pulls at a streak of my hair playfully. My hand instinctively moves to my pocket until I realize I have nothing with me I could feed him.

'' Hey sweetie how are you doing? Has anyone tried to shoot you again? ''

'' Angel... you're talking to a bird. '' He almost sounds like he tries to reason with me. As he takes a step closer Alexander flaps his wings and makes a loud, warning noise. I laugh at the face Joker makes. Like he can't believe that Alexander just 'told' him to stay away from me. I smooth my finger over his feathers,

'' An Eagle-buzzard, his name is Alexander. I found him almost a year ago, he was hurt and too young to take care of himself so I took him home and took care of him. As soon as I was sure he'll be fine on his own I brought him back. Since then I come and visit him here and now. He's beautiful isn't he...'' I look at the young eagle fondly as he cuddles against me.

'' Charming. '' Joker sounds everything but dazzled so I give him a look,

'' Don't take it personal. He attacked my dogs and the laptop too as I gave them more attention than him. '' I wince as Alexander suddenly flies back onto the branch but smile then. Joker and I set moving again. We reach the hideout without another interruption this time. I see the others glancing out of the window when we return. They seem almost surprised.

_Did they actually think I would kill him?_

I give them a look but follow Joker into his room again. My legs are pudding. I'm not exactly up for a small visit to the living room. Right now I need Joker to use the bathroom or something like that. Something that gives me two minutes alone with that syringe. I never injected myself the morphine but I don't think it'll have much of a different effect on me that taking it as a pill or snorting it. I close the door to his room behind me when I'm in. I want to scream when Joker suddenly takes the syringe with a look at me. I swallow but give him a passive look. He smirks knowing. Knowing. Because he knows . He fucking knows . It almost physically hurts as he empties the syringe into the sink in the bathroom. My throat becomes dry, I want to cry. What's the point in keeping the tough face up anyway? He knows I'm a fucking addict. I could just as well break down in tears now. 

'' Go look into the top drawer. '' His voice suddenly breaks the silence. My face twists into a look of confuse but I do what he says and walk around the desk to open the drawer. I freeze. There's a handful of injections in it but I can't say what's in them. The liquid has the color of honey. I feel my fingers twitching nervously. What are those for?

'' You're going through turky soon. That'll help ya. '' I look up at him slowly. Before I can stop myself I feel my self-defense-mode kicking in,

'' Turkey? I have no idea what you're talking about. ''

'' Not a good mix ya got there. Mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics and morphine. That's gonna be a real pain in the ass. Lucky you, I got some experience with that. ''

'' You were addicted to something? '' I can't keep the surprise out of my voice. He shrugs carelessly,

'' I was on heroin some time ago. '' The tense leaves my body at once. Heroin is far worse than my silly problem. I didn't think Joker would be the kind of person to ever be addicted to something. He just seems like… above that.

'' Who helped you stop? '' He chuckles, as if it's the most silly question I could have thought up.

'' Nobody. I can handle myself. ''

'' _Liar. ''_

'' We're not the same Angel. Opposite to you I can do this myself. ''

'' You're human. Just like me. While you are more in control of yourself at certain things… I think there's things we're all reacting the same to. '' 

'' We'll see. ''

* * *


	6. Chapter 6 - I'll Be Good

Angel woke up a few hours after she fell asleep. The drugs that were still flooting through my system and her strict 'oder' to rest made me comply for once and lie down with her. She fell asleep first though and woke up before me. H er ' silent ' attempt to get out of the bed is the thing that really w oke me up. The room's dark but I still spot the small pearls of sweat on her face as she turns away from me to stumble into the bathroom. The moment she silently closed the door I see the light switching on. The 4 animals in the room lift their heads as they notice the light but they soon lie back down. With a sigh I sit up and grab her phone to look at the time. Barely past 4 in the morning. A wonder she even slept that long. Considering when she probably had her last hit and how long the pills should work she really held out a while. From what it sounds like she's not throwing up so I guess she only washes her face. The last turkey I had here was Steve and that's over 2 years ago. While I didn't exactly took care of him, I made sure he has what he needs to get over the shit soon. The less time he needs, the less of a pain in the ass he will be. I don't take junkies. They're too much of a risk. While Angel's not working for me I still have her around for a while so for her goes the same. She'll be clean by the end of the week. I hear something shattering in the bathroom and a muffled curse. The water stops running and the bathroom grows quiet. She's probably trying to find out if I woke up. I make no move until I hear how she starts picking up whatever she knocked over. With another long sigh I rub over my neck and get the first syringe out of the desk drawer. The bathroom door then opens and Angels comes out. She jumps as she sees me standing next to the desk. She washed her face but her eyes have a dull shadow.

'' Did I wake you? '' Her voice is rougher than usual, strained. So the pain's kicking in. Another reason to give her the first half . I nod to the bed,

'' _Sit down_. ''

'' Why? ''

'' To bake a cake, Angel. What does it look like? ''

'' I don't need whatever's in there, okay? I'm fine. ''

'' _For now_ , yeah. I'm just _makin' sure_ it stays that way for a few more hours. ''

'' Just leave me alone. I'm going home as soon as the first bus- ''

'' You're staying here. '' Her body abruptly freezes, her eyes narrowing but there's no anger in them. She seems almost afraid. I crack a grin as she takes a step away from me,

'' What? ''

'' _If you think_ you can _go back_ to take the next hit you're _badly_ mistaken sweetheart. By the end of the weak I want to have you _as clean as a baby_ and to make sure that happens you'll _stay_ here. ''

'' What you… you want to chain me to the bed and watch how I go through turkey? Is that your plan? I'm sure there's something else you can entertain yourself with. ''

'' I don't need to chain you to the bed to keep you from running. '' More furstration fills her eyes, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip. She's picking at her fingers. I motion her again to sit down on the bed but she only takes another step away from me. I cock my head to the side, a smirk tugging at my lips. Is she gonna make me chase her? I wouldn't mind. It's always more fun when they run. When the panic grows and grows until they trip and fall. I wanna see tears in her pretty eyes. And at the same time I don't. The whole proccess will be annoying for both of us. She'll want to die, I will want to shoot her and both of us won't get what we want. But she doesn't run. Instead she just shakes her head,

'' What if I don't want to be clean? ''

'' That's _not_ your choice anymore Angel. The _only_ say you get in this from now on will be _how_ you get through that. ''

'' Plea - '' She breaks off before she can voice the silent plead. But I know what this was going to be.

'' Sit. Down. '' She swallows hard but nods then. Her hands are shaking, there's already new pearls of sweat forming on her forehead. The moment she drops down on the bed she pulls her legs against her chest before wrapping her arms around her knees. I sit down with one knee on the bed and take her arm. I wrap a tie around her upper arm and inject her half of the container. She barely flinches as I pull the needle out of her arm.

'' I give you one piece of advice here… Sleep now, you won't be able to anymore soon. ''

'' Why are you even giving me something if it 's no good . ''

'' Trust me, it's doing the job you want it to do. ''

'' Which is? '' I raise an eyebrow at her. S he s oon realizes what I'm hinting at. Without making another fuss she lies down, it doesn't take long before she's fast asleep. I sit back down next to her after I put everything away again. I place my hand on her bare upper arm, her skin's getting hotter already. The stuff I injected her won't help for long but the more sleep she gets the better. Now it's only a matter of time until it really begins.

 

* * *

 

The next time I wake up it's because Angel's shaking furiously against my chest, gasping in quick breathes now and then. She's still asleep for now but that doesn't stop her body from starting to show symptomes. I slide out of the bed and grab the injection again. She doesn't even wake up when I inject her the other half. It might not work wonders but the THC will loosen her cramping muscles and help her sleep some more. When she reaches the highest point of the road it won't really do anything but for now it's still helping somewhat. The shaking becomes less within a few minutes and her sleep calms. I use the calm before the storm to get out of the room and wake Steve. Before I can barge into his room to tell sleeping beauty to swing her ass out of the bed, I hear that she already got her waking kiss. The coffee machine's working and I hear voices in the kitchen.

'' -long until he sets her off 'em. '' Anthony's voice is the first one I can make out clearly.

'' Man… I didn't think she's the kinda girl to be a junkie. '' Mason mutters, obviously still tired. I lean against the doorframe and wait for them to continue. There's not one thing secret at this house, I feel like I'm babysitting teenagers. 

_Well, more than one that means._

'' You kidding? Did ya see what kinda crap she's dealing with? I saw Boss dinging up her past. She's fucked. Arrested, parents are shit, mental -and money problems on top of it…'' Steve scoffs and I swear I can hear him crossing his arms. Liam is the next to speak up, his voice hinting on surprise,

'' Really now? She seemed pretty happy the other day as we did the house. ''

'' Cause she had a kick. '' Anthony growls. Mason grumbles his agree,

'' Sounds logical. What's she on? '' 

'' I think it's some pills and morphine. J pulled me off her before I could dig deeper. ''

'' Morphine? Well better than H or Meth. Still gonna hurt like hell. '' Liam grunts, obviously taking a gulp of whatever he's drinking. I smirk as I hear Steve's rather uncomfortable voice,

'' Boss got me THC injections and Methadone. That stuff's a miracle against th e shit, really. '' 

'' Isn't Methadone for H? '' Mason asks,

'' Works with Benzos too. '' Anthony objects.

'' I remember pushing the shit into your bloody arm cause you didn't wanna move. '' Mason growls but it's more than obvious that his anger is mostly faked. Those two stick together like siamese twins.

'' That shit hurt okay? Benzos are just as bad in turkey as H is. ''

'' Really now? '' Anthony asks, surprised.

'' Benzo's more like _alcohol_ than _Skag_ . '' They wince as I finally walk into the room. I look at the coffee machine but don't make a move to grab a cup. Coffee in the morning has nothing relaxing for me, it's not waking me up either. What reason would there be to get some then? Instead I go for the cherry juice in the fridge. Angel got it, I discovered it. It's quite tasty.

'' _Morning Boss_. '' They mutter almost in union. Anthony crosses his arms over his chest, his voice rough,

'' How's she? '' There's a hint worry in his eyes, the same hint that's in the eyes of the other 3 men around me.

'' Asleep. For now. ''

'' Should we get her something? '' I raise an eyebrow at Mason. He shrugs.

_She's got them tighter around her finger than I thought. In-te-res-ting..._

'' Methadone, liquid THC, Juice, passion-flower-tea, babyfood and mulungu tea. '' I go through the mental note. I have quite some THC and Methadone injections but there can't be enough. She's not even 18 , that's different than the turkey Steve or me got through. While I didn't take it in my time, I sure would have needed less than she does. She's a woman, she's weaker. Her body is built weaker and her mind's a mess with and without those pills.

'' I get the THC and the Methadone. '' Anthony exclaims, gulps down the rest of his coffee and leaves the kitchen. Liam follows him, announcing he's tagging along. Steve and Mason exchange a glance,

'' We go get the rest then. '' I stay with my back against the counter for a while, starring at the ground. The others are still asleep I would say and Angel will be writhing on the bed here and now but even she should have one more hour or two thanks to the other half. I don't know how much time passes until I push myself off the counter but when I come back into the room Angel is sitting, her eyes dull, her chest rising and falling quickly. She's pale.

'' Looks like the _fun-part_ starts. '' I say casually as I close the door behind me. She abruptly straightens her back and rubs over her face, a groan coming from her,

'' Fun… That's… one way to call it. '' There's a sway in her body as she stands up too quickly but she manages to keep herself on her feet. I smirk. She's actually stubborn enough to try to hide the turkey.

Give that girl a cookie, that's a new one.

She stumbles into the bathroom again. Similar to the situation a few hours ago she washes her face but this time she allows her face to remain in the cold water for quite a time. So the fever's kicking in too. I lean against the door and wait for her to come out. Depends on how desperate she's growing she will probably soon try to escape. She knows there's more Morphine in the house, maybe she'll go look for that. It's gonna be like Easter. My eyes move from the bed to the bathroom-door as she leans against the frame. Her face is almost white now, her body is shaking again but it's only a tremor every few seconds. She looks like something chewed on her and spit her out again. I approach her slowly as she looks up at me with bloodshot eyes,

'' Joker I… I think- '' She breaks off as her body collapses. I catch her before she can hit the ground, her whole body is flushed and hot. Angel's eyes are closed but twitching as if she's dreaming but I know she's awake. She screams as I pick her up and put her back onto the bed. The moment she makes contact with the mattress another screams rips from her lungs, her frame curling up into a ball. I could hold her hand, tell her it's gonna be alright. But that's not gonna help either one of us right now. So instead I get up and sit down at my desk. There's other things I gotta take care of and right now she can handle herself. Well, not that she's got much of a choice really. Until the furiouse-four come back there's nothing to change about the current situation anyway…

 

* * *

 

The second day passes pretty much like the first one. Angel stays in bed, writhing in a mix of pain and delusions. The few minutes here and now she could sleep where soon interrupted with nightmares and hallucinations. Two times she didn't remember where she was, one time she was sure I was going to kill her. I played with the thought several times. After complaining about the tea and questioning everything I told her would help, she finally seemed to realize that her best course would be to shut up and do what I say. Maybe she's just too worn to argue right now, I don't care what it is to be honest as long as the outcome stays the same. What surprises me a little is that she seems to go though what should be a week of turky in not even 3 days. She had her high and she's getting better. Morphine's known for it's turkeys to take up to months in worst cases. Even in quick recovieries it takes at least 4 days. The second day isn't even over yet but the pain already seems to fade somewhat. I use the break to once more kneel down in front of the bed. Over the last two days this spot became something like my trunk space. I sat here when she muttered silent curses or handed her new juice. I sat here when Steve or Anthony got her the tea. I sat here as she wouldn't let go of my hand during her high and begged me to stay next to her. As if it would help. I complained but didn't move, it made her feel better.

'' C'mon, a bath's gonna help. '' I put my hand on her upper arm. If she's really getting out of the cirlce now the bath will wash off some of the remaining tense. The most fucked up thing s after turkey's probably the fact that you don't dare to believe it could actually be over. That you survived it. Angel had one suicide attempt, one. That earned her a bruised eye with a split cheek as an extra present. Wasn't what she expected I'd say. I watch how she burries her nose deeper into the pillow, her voice muffled,

'' Leave me alone. Please just don't… don't make me move- '' I groan, 

'' Angel, was I right before? ''

'' Yeah…''

'' Did it help? ''

'' Yes…''

'' Then I'm right now too. Get going. '' She makes no move to complain. Instead she turns her back to me. She's turning on her own again. She's definitively getting better. I snort and pick her up rather roughly. Getting better or not, the sudden movement sends another wave of pain through her system. With a rough scream she clings to my shirt, her face in my neck. My eyes roll on their own as she gives a sob but I bite back the comment to it. Instead I glance down at her and keep my voice low,

'' C'mon, 's fine. The hot water's gonna relax y ou . '' I put her down on edge of the tub and roll up my sleeves. If I wanted to be a babysitter, I'd have signed up for that. Thinking about all of this, I'm glad this is over sooner than I thought it would be. I glance back at her to find her watching me carefully. There's more life in her brown eyes but they're not spraying with that fire I want to see yet.

'' Okay let's see…' ' I add some of the bath oil into the hot water when the tub fills and watch the water then. It's hot, maybe even uncomfortable but I doubt she'll come out soon after she's in.

'' That smells good…'' I pee k over my shoulder at her silent voice. I think that's the first normal sentence I heard of her yet. I shrug,

'' 's fennel. Works _antispasmodic_ and _relaxes_.You're coming down, this will bring you back a little. '' Angel titles her head in curiousity,

'' How do you know all of that stuff? ''

'' Told ya, I did that already . ''

'' No… You said you got experience with turkey. Not with all of this . You know your way through herbs and through chemicals. You know biology and psychology. You didn't try to tell me everything's alright or gave me pity. At first I thought you were just being a jerk but…'' She makes a small break, her eyes moving from the water to meet mine,

''…you didn't let go of my hand. You could easily have gotten out of my grasp but you sat on the ground next to me and held my hand because I asked you to. ''

'' _Begged_ would be more like it. '' She gives me a look as I motion for her to get into the tub.

'' Doesn't matter. You didn't really leave me to myself, at no point. ''

'' People always seem to mistaken my behavior with stupidity. There's a difference there though sweetheart. '' She shakes her head softly and slowly rises to her feet. To my surprise she tries to slip out of her cloths. I expected more of a fight. Turky tamed her, interesting. I hope she didn't lose her claws permanently. But I doubt it. As she almost falls over again, too weak to keep herself on her feet and get out of her cloths the same time, I urge her back into a sitting position and quickly work her out of her cloths. My eyes move over her body faintly as she's stripped down to her underwear but her voice causes me to look back at her face. Her eyes are closed, there's the faintest embarassed shadow of red on her cheeks,

'' I never said I think you're stupid… I saw you on TV… the traps, the words… the things you do… Every villain in Gotham seems to be specialized on something. Scarecrow has his chemicals… Poison Ivy is a brilliant botanist, the Riddler's a former Detective… B ut you have this… this huge knowelege about everything . That's why people are afraid of you…' ' My brows furrow for a second. 

'' Seems like I'm not the only one who was watching. '' She groans, her eyes falling close as she rubs her temples. She seems almost drunk. The fact that the pain is getting less allows her to feel the exhausted state her body is in. Suddenly her head drops down on my shoulder,

'' There's a difference between the watching I did and the stalking you did. '' I smirk and use the position she's in to attempt to open the clip of her bra on her back. As she notices that I fumble with it a little she huffs a weak laugh ,

'' Problems? ''

'' I didn't open one of those things in a while. '' I mutter annoyed.

'' What, no active sex-life? That's why you're always such a pervert around me, you're desperate. '' Now she's scratching at my ego. The bitch's getting better.

'' At least I have a sex-life. ''

'' Obviously you don't or you would know how to open a bra, it's really not that hard . '' Her hands suddenly move behind her back to easily open the clasp but her head stays on my shoulder. Maybe to keep me from seeing her boobs, maybe because she's too tired to lift her head. My kneeling position in front of her and her head where it is makes it impossible for me to see her front.

'' I hope you payed attention because this is the closest you ever get to open my bra. '' I feel the urge to push her hard into the wall and that face first. This is good. Suddenly she puts one hand over my eyes. An amused chuckle rumbles through my chest at her attempt to keep me from looking. I hold my arm out to offer something she can hold on to. After I hear her slipping out of the last piece of clothing on her body, her hand grabs my arm tightly so that she can lower her body into the water. When her hand lifts from my face she has her knees pressed against her chest again. Her knees are hiding her nipples but her breasts are deliciously squeezed.

_Fucking cocky…_

'' If I were you I ' d be a little nicer to me . I might drown you otherwise . '' She splashes some water at me playfully but the quick movement her arm made for that seems to hurt her,

'' Liar. You wouldn't have gone through the trouble if you wanted to kill me. ''

'' Well if I don't have you clean I'd need to find something else that I can play with. ''

'' As if you would find someone who's stupid enough to spend time with you without being high . '' She winces as I grab the showerhead and hold it over her head to soak her hair. My hand blindly grabs for the shampoo I found in her bag. This time she doesn't react as I pour the shampoo on her head. I luckily didn't need to take care of her dogs or the Hyenas. All I had to do was open the door for them, they came back on their own. I chuckle at her words,

'' That was a self-burn. Those are rare. '' Her eyes close as I rub everything into her hair. I smirk as her voice changes into a purr,

'' I 'm pretty sure I suffer under Stockholm Syndrom. ''

'' Don't try to push your wrecked mind onto some silly wannabe illness . '' She smirks,

'' Says the psychopath who's washing my hair. ''

'' What d'ya think about being bald? '' I ask and grab her hair tightly. As she flinches more furiouse than I thought she would I release my grip on her and just continue to work the sweat out of her hair. Her shampoo smells like the synthetic stuff a hair dresser had . It's one of the smells I noticed on her. The shampoo for her body smells like strawberry i n it but there's something else. Something richer. The strawberry is the quirky part but the other smell is more mature.

'' I'm going to have to kill you later, you know. '' She mutters as my hands smooth the shampoo over her back. Her skin's soft under my hands. I didn't realize how soft her skin really is.

'' Spare me the virgin-embarassment. I couldn't even see yer nipples. '' She faintly glances up at me,

'' What makes you think I'm a virgin? '' I stop in my movements to come face-to-face with her,

'' No way. With a living guy? Or was it a cucumber. '' Her mouth drops open, her eyes clearly screaming 'fuck you',

'' What?! Why would I- shut up! '' I lean back laughing at her sudden embarassed stuttering.

'' A guy, okay. Like fingering or- ''

'' Get your porn somewhere else. ''

'' I'm not interested in watching strangers _fuck_. '' She puts her cheek onto her knee to be able to keep looking at me without having to keep her head up on her own,

'' I'd say we're strangers too… but your hand was between my legs. '' I crack a smirk,

'' Don't get me excited. ''

'' You're so…'' She trails off, looking for words. I use the chance to fake interest,

'' Charming? Handsome? Uhm… Funny? '' She gives me a look,

'' Tactless . ''

'' I take that too. I'm honest darlin' . ''

'' You're rude. And a killer. And a mean ass…''

'' For setting you off the drugs? I wouldn't call that mean. In fact, people would be surprised to hear that. ''

'' The reason you do it for is n't half as sweet and respectable as you think . '' I lean over her to have better access to her neck and use the chance to move my mouth closer to her ear,

'' Oh it's purely selfish but ya see… that makes it human, no? ''

'' Maybe…'' Her eyes close again as she drops her head on my shoulder. I didn't expect this level of comfort around me. Not at this point where she's slowly getting clear again. I realized she was observing me from the moment on she stood up to me in the bus but I didn't realize she was analyzing me like that.

It doesn't take long until I'm done at my task of cleaning her up. Even though she made no fuss about me scrubbing her back, I had to turn around as she washed her 'intimate parts' . We didn't talk much anymore and I can't say I minded the silence. After I had her cleaned up I thought about offering her to get out of the tub but her eyes were closed in what looked like pure comfort so I just let out some of the dirty, cold water and refilled the tub, adding more oil. She didn't question me, she barely opened her eyes to see what I was doing. I then got comfortable next to the tub, my side leaning against the cool porceilan and my arm on the edge, my fingers splashing through the water . I only faintly glanced at her as she soon put her head on my shoulder. I didn't mind the fact that her wet hair was soaking my shirt within seconds. The weight of her head is somewhat comfortable.

After what feels like a while to me I speak up again,

'' Wanna get out of there? '' At first I think she fell asleep but then she sighs ,

'' No…''

'' _Fine_. I'm gonna get something to eat. Want anything? '' She glances up at me,

'' Jack Daniels? ''

'' Juice then. ''

'' Orange. ''

'' Cherry, alright. '' Angel's giving me the perfect bitch-face,

'' O.R.A.N.G.E. '' I crackle up as I leave the room. I have no idea where the guys are. The TV's on but I doubt they're all in the living room. To be honest I don't really care where they went off to. I grab two packs of orange juice, stuff them into my pockets and grab two cherry-flavored. The guys picked up baby food for her as soon as she can stomach normal food again. At first she laughed at me for giving her this but it turned out she liked it more than she likes to admit. I grab two jars of the stuff and some chocolate cookies Steve bought and carry everything back into the bathroom. Angel looks up when she hears me coming into the room. As soon as she spots the cherry-juice she gives me a wounded look,

'' You're mean…'' I chuckle and hold the orange juice into her sight then after putting everything onto the floor,

'' _Am I_? '' Her eyes abruptly lighten a little with childish-excitement as she snatches the box from my hands.

'' You got something nice too. '' She mumbles as I take the pack away from her again to open it. The last time she tried to do that herself it ended up in the tub and on my shirt because the pack slipped out of her hand the moment she had it open . Angel smiles gratefully as she accepts the pack of juice.

'' Did your girlfriend help you with the Heroin? '' I stop sucking on the straw and give her a scolding glare but she makes no move to back away or take back her question. 

'' My brother. ''

'' Is he still alive? ''

'' No. '' She grows quiet again.

'' I'm sorry …''

'' Why? You didn't know him. '' Suddenly she smiles. Not the way she usually smiled at me, this one's softer,

'' You're not half as horrible as you make people believe. I think… your brother must have been nice too then. ''

'' Must he? ''

'' He was probably nicer one. I'd say you're the black sheep in the family. ''

'' Something we have in common then. '' She shrugs faintly, chewing a little on her straw,

'' Maybe. '' As soon as she emptied the pack she puts it onto the tub 's edge.

'' How long will this last? '' Angel's voice is still raw, tired. But it's getting 'healthy'. I still wonder how her body managed to get this over with so soon. This was her first cold turkey but her body reacted like it was used to something like this. I'm pretty sure that nobody can get used to that. The body can heal faster if one's hurt more often but something like that is a state you can't get used to. I shrug my shoulders,

'' Yer talking, almost standing on your own, gettin' sarcastic again. I'd say you're over the worst. '' She nods but suddenly her eyes get a concerned shadow as she looks into my eyes,

'' What about you? ''

'' What about me? ''

'' You were shot. I… didn't even think about that… Sorry…'' My lips curl into a smirk,

'' Your stitching needs some practice. Other than that it'll do just fine. '' She seems almost released. She's not seriously having a conscience-biting because she forgot about the wounds right? It's not like those were exactly threatening to my life. The only thing on those things that could kill me is the horrible way she stitched my leg. Even first-graders can do that better. It could be worse, at least the stitches do what they're supposed to. I can pull the threads out soon enough. My attention moves back to her as she bites her lip,

'' Why did you kiss me? '' As I laugh loudly at that, Angel looks away.

'' Is that still spooking around in your head? I must be an even better kisser than I thought. ''

'' It's the last question. '' She assures. My eyebrow rises in mocking doubt. She smirks slyly, her eyes almost sparkling again,

''…Until I think up something else…'' To my surprise she doesn't even flinch as I grab a hold of her chin to title her head up and examine her mouth, my thump caressing her bottom lip. I lean in, my lips only faintly touching hers. But while she doesn't flinch, she also isn't as affected by it as I thought she would be. Her eyes are almost closed but she more seems to wait for what happens next. When I lean back without really kissing her, her head cocks to the side slightly,

'' I shouldn't kind of like this, should I? '' Her lips move against my thump. The constant chewing on them left marks on them but that is not affecting the softness of them. Not that much.

'' Sitting naked and vulnerable in a tub right in front of me? Probably not. My kiss? Well, given the situation I'd say it would help. '' Her eyes narrow as she avoids meeting my glance. Her voice lowers again but this time she sounds less tired than deep in thoughts,

'' I mean being here… Considering what you did… Who you are… I shouldn't like being here. ''

'' Why? ''

'' You're hurting people. Not people that deserve it but innocent people that didn't do anything. You torture for fun. You're…''

'' Angel if you expect me to give you the perfect speech about what you should do or what you should enjoy and what not you came to the wrong place. ''

'' 'Came'? You kidnapped me. ''

'' True. I can keep you here all I want. I could easily do with you whatever the hell I want and there's nothin' you can do against it. But if you like all of this or not is up to you. Not to me or your people. ''

 

* * *

 

I look up at him faintly, my vision is still blurry and my body's still trembling ever so often. The water's getting cold again but I don't want to move. I don't want to get out of this tub because I feel that as soon as I do I'm forced to be part of this world again. The turkey hurt but it took responsibility from me. I didn't have to think about what happens if I stay or if I should like any of this. I could just focus on myself. I could focus on what felt right at the moment without having to beat myself up for those feelings. Joker makes it sound so easy. It probably is for him. There's no one he owes anything. I shuddered barely as he told me that he can do what he want with me. Not because of the fact that I fear he would really do anything to me but because of how right he is. I'm in the middle of a nature reserve that barely anyone ever enters surrounded from killers and possible rapists. They might treat me nice but that doesn't change the fact that they're all dangerous. Whatever reason Joker has for his civil way of handling me, he's one of the most dangerous men I've ever heard of and it probabl only needs one wrong word of me for him to snap and kill me. Or worse. Even though… it's kind of hard to imagine that the man in front of me is capable to the stuff I know he did. Not because he seems suddenly very sane. Every time he opens his mouth to talk his voice has that strange sound. His ticks control his body sometimes and the words he choses sometimes send shudders down my back. There's nothing calm about him. The time we sat in silence he changed his position several times in between or muttered things under his breathe. He was playing with whatever was in his reach and if there was nothing that could interest him he picked at his fingers. As I put my head on his shoulder I felt his muscles constantly twitching under my cheek. I don't think there was even one minute he spent completely calm. That time he held my hand as I thought I had to die from the immense pain that ran through my whole body… He seemed annoyed but after I asked… begged him to just hold my hand he did. And his fingers were twitching around my hand in no real rhythm. But it calmed me. It gave me something I could focus on. The smallest flinches of the muscles in his hand, his fingers tapping on my skin and the way he moved when he couldn't sit still anymore. He didn't answer my question about why he kissed me and he didn't really kiss me a second time. I could have moved into the kiss but I wanted to know what happens if I don't. Still, the closeness did kind of affect me a little more than I thought it would. It didn't leave me craving for him but it left an itch. And more questions.

After what feels like an eternity of just starring at him I sigh,

'' So is this what you're doing in your free-time? Kidnapping minors and getting them off drugs? ''

'' You wanna hear you're the first and only? '' I narrow my eyes in confuse,

'' No. I'm asking because I'm ge nuine ly interest ed . On the other hand… Y ou got Batman in Gotham, right? That probably gives you an occupation. '' He smirks again, the small hint of seriousness from before replaced by clear amusement and maybe even a tad of what looks like puppy love,

'' Oh he certainly does . '' I give a dry laugh, my throat still too raw to really give any lighthearted laugh. The juice helped more than I thought. I know that it can keep down the craving to alcohol at least a tad but I didn't think it would help me with the morphine. I have to admit… I didn't think turkey would be like this. Not this strong. I expected pain and a horrible dreadful feeling but this was far beyond what I could think up. If whatever Joker gave me really helped or not I can't tell but I don't even want to imagine that it actually could have been worse. I don't think I really can imagine that. I don't know how often I wanted to search the whole goddamn house for the morphine that must be here somewhere. I just can tell that trying to actually leave the room ended horrible. The moment Joker realized I wanted to dash out of the room he pinned me to the bed. His weight on my body had me crying and screaming but he wouldn't move down until he was convinced I won't try again. Then there was the moment he used the bathroom. He locked the door and the window but I didn't try to get out. I just wanted to find something that can kill me. I found a knife in Joker's coat. The thought to end my life didn't scare me to that time, not one bit. What scared me was the thought of having to spend just one more minute like this. As if he could sense it, Joker suddenly stood behind me before I could make the first cut. After brutally tearing the knife out of my hand he hit me hard enough to send me flying through the room. He left me on the floor after he told me clearly that the next time I try this he will make sure that I know there's worse than this. I believed him. I don't know how long I stayed curled up in the middle of the room. I just know that I fell asleep after Joker gave me another injection and woke up in the bed then.

'' What are you doing in your free-time? '' He groans but there's still a chuckle in his voice,

'' Angel _aren't you tired_ of _asking_ at some point? Or uh… tired in general? ''

'' It's taking the pain from my mind. To that comes… compared to the other guys I've met, you're definitively different. '' His tongue flickers over his lips,

'' _Good_ different _or bad_ different? ''

'' Just… different. ''

'' What kinda hobbies d'ya expect? '' I shrug, a small smile playing on my lips,

'' I dunno… Mario Kart, Singstar, some movie or a book. Maybe… music. You could play an instrument. Or… or some kind of favorite local with that one special dish. A bar around some corner where you order the same drink? A club? Maybe you're really good at dancing. Funny animal videos on YouTube… Something… something normal. Something everyone does. '' As he gives me a look that almost seems threatening I break eye-contact, my voice merely a murmur,

'' I'm not asking for anything real personal. If… your hobby is a secret family somewhere or something really private I don't expect an answer… I just mean something… basic. A guilty-pleasure. '' He studies me very closely suddenly. I feel a shudder running over my back as he seems to be chewing on his scars inside of his mouth. Did I go too far?

'' I never played Mario Kart. '' He makes a poping noise with his lips as he finally answers me and breaks the silence. The pop almost causes me to wince so that I need a moment to work out what he said.

'' Seriously ? ''

'' Singstar though, that one I played. 's pretty funny. '' I beam at him,

'' I knew it! ''

'' I think I like John Green. '' He suddenly mentions, obviously working off the list I gave him. My brows furrow,

'' You're kidding. ''

'' The Fault in Our Stars? Oh I cried. ''

'' Okay now you're just messing with me. '' I splash some water at him. To my surprise he chuckles and raises his arms over his head,

'' Alright. I read Harry Potter though. And sue me, I liked the Twilight books. '' My expression abruptly drops.

'' No way. ''

'' Yes way. ''

'' Wow. See, that is the reason you go to Arkham everytime. ''

'' You wanted a guilty pleasure, now you have one. ''

'' That's blasphemic. Vampires don't sparkle in the sun, they burn and die. I feel like Tinkerbell and Dracula had a secret affair on crack at some point. Werewolves don't transform whenever the hell they please. They change under full-moon in pain and tear apart their loved ones . They're not pets. -I'm never letting you live that down, I hope you know that. … W hat about the rest? '' He laughs at first, his hand lightly pushing me. The touch isn't hard enough to actually hurt but it sends an uncomfortable stinging through my shoulder. He seems genuinely amused at my words. I smile again. The fact that the only way my mouth moved those past days was to scream or cry, the smiling now almost hurts.

'' I'm not really into any genre. I hear music, I like it or I don't. End of the story. ''

'' Do you play an instrument? ''

'' Lil' bit guitar. ''

'' That's really cool. ''

'' Yeah you can say I've got quite the talented fingers. '' As he smirks at me and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively I catch up on what he wanted to hint at. Even though I groan I can't help but laugh a little, 

'' That took me a moment. ''

'' I was so sure you're a virgin. ''

'' Okay we're not going back there… Moving on! I wanna get out of the tub now. I feel like my skin's dessolving. ''

'' Then the bath did what it was supposed to do. ''

'' When was the last time you took a bath or a shower? ''

'' _Are you implying_ _that_ _I_ _stink_ _?_ '' 

'' Well you don't exactly smell like roses. ''

'' I'm pretty sure I smell like that horrible chick I had to set on turkey that sweat through my new sheets. '' My mout h forms into a scandalized 'O',

'' Rude. ''

Suddenly he seems so much more normal to me.. it's even making him sympathic. Those small things he told me aren't really personal and they could easily all be a lie t o rock me into this feeling I have right now but it makes being around him somehow more comfortable. 

 

* * *

 

I wake up to the sound of a phone going off. Through I'm pretty sure that the _Breaking Bad_ intro is not my ringtone, I guess it has to be Angel's. My arm shoots out to grab the source of noise and quickly eliminate it. I don't know what time it is but after getting Angel out of the tub she somehow managed to talk me into a Breaking Bad marathon from where we stopped watching. We started at Season 1 Episode 7 and ended Season 2 Episode 9. Angel also insisted on changing the bandages and checking the stitches in the middle of the wannabe 'Netflix and Chill'. She paled a little as she was confronted with the bad needlework she did on my leg. In my move to grab the phone and cover the loudspeaker with my thump, my arm brushes Angel's shoulder. She turned in her sleep so that her face is burried in my shoulder now, I feel her breathing through her mouth what causes her to make the smallest noises while that. Thinking about how I moved my arm she snuck her way into my embrace. While one arm is captured between our bodies so that her fingers curl into my shirt, her other arm is loosely draped over my waist. What does she think I am, some kinda teddy? Even one knee is brushing my legs. I focus back on the phone. Somebody's calling her.

 _Bonny?_ _If I get this right that's the one that was bawling her eyes out._

For a moment I consider if I should just block the call or if I should wake the girl in my arms. In the end I just answer the call myself,

'' Hey ich bin etwas eher Heim gekommen. Wie stehts mit Kino oder nem Kaffee? Ich halt meinen Vater grade echt nicht aus...'' ( Hey I got home a little earlier. Are you up for the movies or a coffee? I really can't stand my dad right now...) She sounds stressed. I smirk,

'' Angel schläft noch, soll ich ihr sagen das du angerufen hast? '' (Angel is still asleep, you want me to tell her you called?) I keep my voice even. I want to get her into trouble with her friend, not the fucking cops. At least not now. Maybe later.

'' Wo genau schläft sie...? '' (Where exactly is she sleeping…?) Her voice grows a little more careful. I'm not sure if she's already used to others answering Angel's phone or if this situation is new to her.

'' In meinem Bett, warum? '' (In my bed, why?) There's a pause.

'' Bist du… ein Freund? '' (Are you… a friend of hers?)

'' Ich glaube das kann man so nennen. '' (I think you could call it that.) She reacts calmer than I expected her to. So she's used to this kind of situation. I didn't expect that. Angel didn't excatly talk to many people in those days I watched her and in her school she was more than keen about keeping to herself or sticking with her friends. Suddenly she groans,

'' Sag mir bitte nicht das sie wieder verhaftet wird. '' (Please don't tell me she is about to get arrested again.) I glance down at the little rebel in my arms who obviously is more of an rebel than I thought as her body shows first signs of waking up. My eyebrow rises, I wasn't aware of the fact that she was arrested more than once. I only know of one time as she set the broke into that big fancy house, stole a couple of things and the animals in there and attacked the cop that wanted to arrest her then. How did she manage to make the other times disappear from her record?

'' Sollte sie? '' (Should she?)

'' Die letzten Male wo jemand anders an ihr Handy gegangen ist, hat sie was angestellt. '' (The last times somebody else answered her phone she did something and got arrested.) My eyes stay on Angel as the arm that was wrapped around my waist now moves to rub the sleep out of her eyes. A small shudder runs over her back, probably the lasting remains of the turkey. If her friend would know what happened in those past two days she would probably have a heart attack. Angel would completely snap. That mental image is almost enough to make me tell her.

'' Morning…'' Angel mutters and glances up at me. As she notices that I'm talking to someone she almost winces.

'' Nein, nichts dergleichen. '' (No, nothing like that.)

'' Is that my phone- ''

'' Ich bin nicht sicher ob mich das beruhigt. Wer bist du und warum ist sie in deinem- Oh… _OH_! '' (I'm not sure if that's really calming me. Who are you and why's she in-) Her voice grows loud enough for Angel to realize who I'm talking to. Her eyes widen in a heartbeat,

'' Bonny _?!_ Fuck! Give me my phone...! '' Angel hisses at me, trying to keep her voice low so that her firend can't hear her talking English. As she reaches out for the object in my hand I hold it up. She soon straddles my lap, trying to reach the phone. We struggle with each other for a moment until I manage to flip us over. As soon as she's beneathe me I pin her to the bed, both her hands in one of my own while holding onto the phone with the other.

'' Bonny- '' (Bonny-) She breaks off as I lean down to kiss her. She winces as my lips crush onto hers, everything she was about to say now muffled. Weak grunts of protest, struggling against me, but nothing that really lets on that she's uncomfortable right now. Just angry. As she gets the chance to I feel her biting my lip. Not really hard enough to break the skin, she's giving a warning right now.

'' Angeline? Alles ok? Was ist los? '' (Are you alright? What's going on?) Her friend sounds worried. I break the kiss but lean down to whisper into her ear,

'' D'ya really want your friend to call the cops? '' She bites her lip as she watches through narrowed eyes how I set her friend on speaker.

'' Bonny hör nicht auf ihn, der Arsch ist ein neurotischer Lügner. '' (Bonny don't listen to him, that ass is a neurotic liar.) She says loudly, making me look down at her rather confused. I'm psychotic, not neurotic, that's a difference. She glares at me, everything in her eyes telling me to shut up so I start grinning down at her, my voice low but the phone close enough for her friend to hear,

'' Na na Angel, unser Bad und die Nacht im Wald schienen ziemlich real. '' (Well Angel our bath or the night in the forest seemed pretty real to me.) If looks could kill I'd probably be blown into so many pieces now that you could find some of me in China. The anger is not the thing that makes her become this red though. 'Bonny' seems scandalized, her voice almost thick with discipline,

'' Ist das dein Ernst, ich pass 1 mal nicht auf und du springst direkt mit dem nächst besten Typen ins Bett?! _Schon wieder!?_ '' (Are you serious, I leave you out of my sight one time and you abruptly jump into the bed of the next best stranger?! _Again_?!) If Angel were a system, she'd be down now. My grin falters for a moment, my eyes halting on the phone,

'' Was heißt hier 'nächst bester'? '' (What's that supposed to mean, 'next best'?)

'' Als ob ich mit dem da was anfangen würde, ich bitte dich. '' (Please, as if I'd do anything with that guy.)

'' 'Dem da'. Na das wird ja immer netter. '' ('That guy'. Getting nicer every second.)

'' Tu mir bitte einfach den Gefallen und stell dich in die Ecke da um über die Bedeutung von 'Privatsphäre' nach zu denken! '' (Do me a favor, go stand in that corner and think about the meaning of the word 'Privacy'!) She snarls at me. Before I have the chance to answer, her friend mutters something under her breathe,

'' Na der letzte war ja auch kein Prinz Charming. '' (Yeah well the last guy wasn't exactly a Prince Charming either.)

'' Bonny! Fuck, okay weißt du was- '' (you know what-) Suddenly she uses all her strength to flip us over. She snatches the phone from my hand before I can stop her and ends the call with a quick 'call you later' to her friend. She puts the phone out of my reach before pushing her palms down onto my chest,

'' Why! Why did you do that! ''

'' Cause it's fun, _duh_. '' I slip out from under her and make my way to the bathroom. Before I closed the door behind me, I peek outside again,

'' _Again_? '' As soon as she realizes that I refer with that to her last boyfriend-affair-whatever, she takes the glass of baby-food and throws it at me. I quickly close the bathroom door so that I hear the glass crashing into it. I slide down at the door, no longer able to hold back the laughter.

 

* * *

 

I watch how the glass only barely misses him and shatters against the closed door. There's still a small sway in my body but compared to the past days I feel like I was reborn. Right now though I'm angry. Bonny could have realized who he was, she could have called the cops. She's gonna call again soon now that she's convinced I'm with someone. She wasn't that fond of Chris but I'm sure that she'd be glad for him should she find out that I'm with the Joker right now. With a groan I lie back. The clock on my phone tells me it's 3:47 pm. I had around 4 hours sleep. I'm still tired. The lack of sleep while turkey and the stress my body went through left me so exhausted. I can't remember a time ever feeling like this. Now that the adrenaline from the shock from having Joker talk to Bonny fades my body suddenly feels heavy. On one side all I really want to do right now is sleep. But I didn't leave this room for almost 3 days. I want to walk even if it's just to the kitchen. I can finally walk on my own again, my body is not fighting me anymore. I need to do something so I'll get food. At the same time Joker comes out of the bathroom, I stand up.

'' I thought about getting coffee or juice… I want to eat something else than baby-food. Do you want anything? '' He gives me a strange look but shrugs then,

'' Coffee. ''

'' Do you want to eat anything? ''

'' Surprise me. '' I nod. We walk past each other as he makes his way to the desk and I go to the door but my hand halts on the handle. There's a thought nagging on my mind. I release the handle and slowly take a step closer to the desk. Joker doesn't even look at me, he probably didn't notice that I'm still in the room.

'' Joker? '' He looks up at me. My mouth opens, my fingers playing nervously with each other in front of my stomach. Slowly I shake my head,

'' Doesn't matter…'' I leave the room before he has the chance to stop me. The door falls close behind me and I breathe out. The dogs and the Hyenas aren't in the room so I guess Joker let them out. Or one of the guys opened the door for them. I know Joker took care of them.

'' I see you two are back to the bickering. '' Before I reach the kitchen, Steve's voice causes me to stop. There's a faint smirk on his lips. When I look around I see a couple of the others approaching too. There's no hint on their faces that they know about what happened but I know they do. If they heard me and Joker fighting they heard me screaming those past days. My eyes meet with Anthony's for a moment. Next to the clear amusement in his eyes about Steve's comment there's something serious in them. He has his arms crossed. I quickly avoid his glance again and focus back on Steve,

'' Could you hear us? '' He shrugs but Mason is the next to answer.

'' Just a little. What we heard though, was you tossing something at the Boss. ''

'' How do you know I was the one tossing? ''

'' Cause J's not the one to toss and miss. '' Anthony's rough voice replays. I give a dry chuckle.

'' What were you fighting about? '' Another guy asks. I don't remember his name. Except Mason, Steve and Anthony I don't remember any name right now to be honest.

'' He answered my call and talked to one of my friend. Joker uh… well… he made her believe we're sleeping with each other. ''

'' You're not? '' I look up surprised, my cheeks heating up a tad. The others seem almost genuinely shocked about my answer.

'' No. ''

'' What seriously now? Nothing? '' I narrow my eyes, my arms crossing in a self-defensive way,

'' Turkey doesn't exactly make you very horny. '' They grow quiet at that. An awkward silence fills the corridor but I'm willing to sit this one out. I know I was screaming, I know I was crying and I know that I was doing both loudly. The thought to fuck didn't exactly cross my mind. Of course, next to the suicidal tendencies I was up for an affair with a man that's known to break people. Suddenly my tensed muscles loosen a little. It's not like we were acting like strangers around each other. He helped me to take a bath after all.

'' Well. I guess that means you owe me 50 bucks. '' Mason suddenly says, his focus on Steve. The other man groans and a couple other behind him do the same. I watch how they begins to dig through the pockets of their pants.

_Are they betting… about Joker and me? No way. I'm getting that wrong._

'' What's going on? ''

'' I was so sure you two would hit it off. Damn…'' Steve mutters after handing over the 50 bucks.

'' Yeah, what can I say, I bet a hundred bucks that they at least make out. '' Another guy mutters, also handing Mason money. My mind's still a little slow so I need a moment to sort this whole thing out. When I finally seem to grasp everything my mouth drops open. They're betting about Joker and me.

'' What did you bet on? '' I lastly ask Mason who shrugs,

'' Not for nothin' honey but I was pretty sure you'd turn the Boss down. You're pretty open but you're domestic. No way you get steady with J with your mom at home. '' Anthony nods,

'' Yeah, I went for the same. '' They're fucking betting about us. I breathe in deeply and cross my arms over my chest, my voice even,

'' I didn't turn him down. ''

'' Come again. '' Mason and Anthonly still hold onto the freshly received money but their self-assured grins freeze on their faces. I raise an eyebrow at them. The others slowly begin to smirk dirty as they each take their money back or stuff it back into their pockets. The moment Steve has his money back he suddenly wraps an arm around my waist to pull me against him. I stumble into him, giving a small yelp. The thing I instantly notice is that I don't feel any pain. Nothing. It's like this all never happened. Steve kisses the top of my head,

'' D'ya know that you just made me 200 bucks richer? '' I look up at him coolly,

'' You know that I get 50% of that cause I did the work, right? '' He shrugs and hands me 100 Euros suddenly,

'' Fair's fair. ''

'' Wow I was being sarcastic but thanks anyway. '' I pat his arm and stuff the money into the pocket of my pants before finally entering the kitchen. Behind me I hear the others laughing as Mason teases his friend,

'' Ha, man she got you. ''

'' I thought she was seriouse. '' I brush the unwell feeling off as I get the coffee done and fish for some bread in one of the cabinets. The tray I used the first night I spent here still is where I left it. I put two plates and two knifes on it already. Out of the fridge I grab cheese. There's Nutella in another cabinet. After putting everything on the tray I watch the coffee dripping into the can and lean against the counter, my arms crossed and my eyes closed somewhat relaxed. The others took their conversation to the living room I guess because their voices only faintly reach my ears so that the noises of the coffee machine seem to drown the whole room. My mind suddenly wanders back to the kiss, the one in the forest. Joker only kissed me in the bed because it was the easiest way to shut me up but I'm still pondering about his motivation in the forest. It's not that he pushed me up that tree right away. He was completely zoned out for a few minutes. I groan. My brain's still nothing more but puree. Why is it so hard for me to grasp this?

'' Something wrong? '' I don't wince at the deep voice coming from the door. Instead I take another deep breathe. When I open my eyes they almost instantly meet Steve's. I shake my head softly and rub over my temples , I think I'm getting a headache.

'' No . Just thinking. ''

'' Hey the thing with the bets- ''

'' I won't tell him, don't worry. Not that he would care much for it anyway. '' He shakes his head and takes a step closer,

'' No, look. That wasn't meant insulting in any way it was just...'' He breaks off towards the end, obviously not knowing how to put it. I give a dry laugh and push myself away from the counter to step closer to him, searching for any answer in his eyes,

'' Just what ? '' Suddenly he's staring right into my eyes with a certain seriousness I didn't see in them yet. It's giving him something dangerous. I feel a shudder running over my back as his voice lowers,

'' Look, Angeline, with the Boss there's certain things everybody of us knows. One: He's civil when he's busy so give him an occupation or run the risk to be the occupation. Two: Go against his rules and he's gonna make an example of you. That's nothing you want, trust me. Three: He's cold. There's just no humanity in him, not like there's in you and me. He may seem like a normal guy at times but he's not. There's always a reason behind everything. '' I push myself off the counter,

'' Are you giving me some kind of suvival-rules? ''

'' I'm trying to explain how fucked up this situation is. The last time we had a woman in our team the only order we got was to make sure that she can still fulfil her purpose. We were literally allowed to do anything we wanted as long as she was capable to work. With you… Now that's a different story. As Boss send me and Marcus to pick you up we were strictly told to not lay a finger on you. And honestly, you don't look exactly beaten up. '' As I give him a confused look he shrugs, suddenly uncomfortable,

'' J's not the type of person to stick with you when you go through turkey. In my time he tossed a bag into my room with 15 syringes and a few packs of juice. Told me to keep it down or he's gonna end me before turkey can. That's it. He didn't even check if I'm still alive or if I used the fucking needle to dig my eye out. But you? Man I never saw J getting anyone food. I told you before, you're the first interest there is. This is better than any TV show. '' There's a tugging in my stomach, that same uncomfortable tugging I felt before the turkey took my mind off everything. Right now I wish I would still be in that tub. It seemed all very easy at that moment. So why does everything feel so hard now? Nothing changed. I still have a few days here until my mom comes home, until I need to go back home. My stomach cramps more.

'' Okay. '' He looks at me suspiciously,

'' So we're cool? '' I shrug and smile then at him,

'' From my perspective we were never not cool. ''

'' Good to have you back on your feet. '' He nudges my shoulder softly and holds his thump up before leaving the kitchen again. I look after him for a moment but turn then back to the counter. I fill the coffee into two mugs and carry the tray then back to Joker's room. The dogs and hyenas hush past me into the room before I'm inside. Joker looks up from his laptop when I close the door with a light kick. I nod my head to the bed and place then the tray on it. While that some of my hair falls into my face. My eyes almost instantly close at the scent of shampoo that lingers on them. The bath really was the best thing that happened to me those past days. Nevertheless I tame my hair back into a messy ponytail. Maybe I should cut it at some point. When I'm done I notice that Joker's by now on the bed and watching me with titled head like he's deep in thoughts. I bite my lip,

'' I didn't know what you want so I just took everything with me. '' He makes no move to answer me as he pours enough sugar into the coffee to give me diabetes just by looking at it. I purse my lips in slight disgust. I like my coffee with milk and sugar too but this is sugar with coffee, not the other way around.

_To each their own I guess._

'' Interesting. '' He finally mutters as he bites into the messy sandwich he made himself. Well, if you can call that a sandwich. There's barely nutella on it, just a few dots. He just dug the knife into the glass and put it on his bread without spreading it. I really do my best to not comment on his eating habits but a grin comes to my face as I see the parts where large nutella dots are on the bread standing up a little.

'' What is? ''

'' Breakfast with someone else. '' I halt the bread on my lips, giving him a surprised look. I wasn't expecting something like that. His voice is so calm, his ticks reduced to a minumum. There's barely any makeup left on his face, just a tad red on his lips and some black around his eyes. There's still white on his neck just below his ear but other than that his face is pretty clean. I thought he would re-do it the moment he notices it comes off. His face is younger without it. Handsome. The scars that give him this cheshire-grin are a little grotesque. They seem raw without the red paint covering them. Like he re-news everything should they look too much like they're healing. The thought makes me shudder.

'' We still gotta settle on a church. '' It takes me a moment to pick up on what he means. The expression that let on he was lost in his thoughts disappears as he stares into my eyes. I raise an eyebrow at him, my voice dry,

'' How about you propose first. '' He laughs loudly. His body is twitching furiously what causes the bed to shake a little. I crack a grin at him. He really is completely mad but I can't deny that there's something charming on him anyway. I felt so completely comfortable around him in that tub. I was sitting naked in front of a homicidal psychopath and I didn't mind. I didn't even want to get out because of the high level of calm I felt there. He faintly moves off the bed to fetch his laptop off the desk. When he reaches the bed again, he hands me the laptop. He called up a map. I soon spot the churches he announced.

'' Pick one that doesn't inculde the 5. ''

'' You said you'll only blow up one church. '' He smirks,

'' I said I blow up _a_ church and give the cops detonators to 5 of them. Never put myself down to _one_ of these 5. ''

'' You would make an excellent lawyer. Or politician. ''

'' Nobody told ya I'm in the next Presidental election? '' I raise an eyebrow at him,

'' And suddenly I'm really glad I don't live in America. ''

'' After America I'll come back for Germany. Then I want the North Pole. ''

'' Do you want to enslave Santa Clause? ''

'' He never got me the pony as I was 5. ''

'' Santa only gives presents to nice kids. ''

'' Santa's got the same letters as Satan, that can't be a coincidence. ''

'' I thought conspiracy theories are only for the people on Facebook. '' He smirks and clicks with his tongue loud enough to cause me to jump,

'' C'mon kitten, we don't have an eternity. Pick a church. '' I think about refusing. But I'm here for a few more days and for those days I'm not part of whatever is going on in the world. For as long as I'm here, everything around me doesn't matter. I'm not part of the normal population, I'm not part of this world. I'm part of Joker's world. I soon type in the name of the only Church I know by name.

'' _St. Andreas_. 's not far from here and in the middle of your beloved hometwon. Sweet. Why that one? ''

'' None of your business. ''

'' Don't be a fun-kill Angel, c'mon _tell me_. '' I lean my back against the wall and cross my arms over my chest, trying to hide the sudden tense in my body,

'' Quid pro Quo. '' He chuckles on that and leans forwards to close the gap I created between us, his eyes boring through mine almost threatening. I feel a shudder running over my back as his voice drops into a low growl,

'' What'cha wanna know Clarice? ''

'' Your name. '' He stares at me. That's the first time I ask for any real personal information. The basic stuff from before was to make him more normal. To make him more relatable to. But now I want something personal and he doesn't seem so amused about that. The next chuckle is cold, his eyes are shimmering with danger,

'' Where does the sudden interest come from kitten? '' I swallow hard. Maybe asking was a bad idea after all. But this question burns on my tongue for a while now. Everytime I called him Joker I wanted to know what his real name is. Suddenly he leans back too,

'' _Jack_ _Napier_. ''

'' My grandmother died as I was 10. Lung cancer. She was part of the community of that church so she was burried in their cemetery. At her funeral the Pastor came to me and told me it was God's will. That the cancer that had her suffering like that was a punishment for the smoking and the alcohol. That she deserved it. '' My voice becomes grimmer towards the end. There's that familiar tightening in my chest. I don't remember much of my childhood but I remember that day. I remember the man and his words. I remember that this was the moment I lost my faith, not that I really had one before. It may be bitter and childish to hold on to something like that but I don't want to let this go. I want to keep that hatred alive until he's dead. I wince as Joker suddenly laughs. His mock feels like a hit across the face. My hands are clenching to fists without me really noticing.

'' My my, you and your family problems. So your granny dies and you want revenge? That's cute. If all it takes to have you snap is a death in the family, maybe I pay a visit to your mommy then. '' It just takes one look at his grinning face for me to pounce at him. The tray with what was left of the food crashes to the ground, the plates and cups abruptly shattering. I have a tight grip on his shirt as I bring our faces close, my voice a hiss,

'' You fucking evil, sadistic son of a bitch- '' Suddenly he flips us over. Similar to the way before he has a tight grip on my wrists while pinning my body to the bed with his. The weight on my hip is uncomfortable but I'm more focused on freeing myself. He easily takes both of my hands into his so that his free hand can wrap itself tightly around my neck.

'' What, did I hit a nerve there? _Poor. Lil'. Kitten_ _._ '' My nails now dig into his hand but he doesn't flinch. My eyes move to the desk, the knife I tried to use on myself just yesterday is still laying there. I just need to reach it. But the lack of oxygene causes my already weak body to almost shut off, his grip on my throat is painful, as if he's trying to break my neck. When I finally manage to free my leg I ram my knee into his groin. The moment his grip becomes weaker as he crings in pain, a rippled laughter coming from his lungs, I push him off me and roll to the side. I wince as I step into a shard but quickly make my way to the desk. The moment the knife is in my hand I turn. Joker stops 2 meters away from me.

'' Stay away from my family...! '' He raises his eyebrow and looks at me mocking, pointing at the knife like it's some toy that couldn't even tickle him,

'' You _really_ think _that_ would stop me? ''

No but it gives me time to think...

'' I'm maybe not strong enough to win against you in a fist fight but I know how to use a knife. One move and I swear Joker, I won't hesitate to cut you. ''

'' Why don't you _try_ it then? _Hm_? You don't have the _guts_ to kill _anyone_! '' His voice is daring, he's pushing me on prurpose. He wants me to attack him. He wants me to give him a challenge. Joker takes a step closer to me but keeps out of my reach. His eyes are challenging but I'm not that stupid. I won't attack him, he could easily surpass me if I did.

'' You shouldn't underestimate me. ''

'' Don't tempt me Angel. ''

'' I'm not tempting, I'm warning you. '' Suddenly he makes a go at me. The quick movement instantly causes me to lash out at him, my aim going at his throat. He dodges the attack so that instead of his throat, I slice through the fabric of his shirt and leave a deep cut in his upper arm. For a moment he actually seems surprised but then he reaches out for me again. As I attempt to cut him again he grabs the blade and rips it out of my hand to toss it over his shoulder. I grit my teeth as I look after the knife. He cut open his palm in the proccess but I don't think he really cares for that right now. Before I can move away from him he captures both of my wrists. I feel his blood on my skin, I can smell it. I struggle against him but a as he rams his knee into my stomach I feel ready to break down. The pain sets every nerve in my body on fire and forces a rough scream from my lungs. I can taste blood in my mouth but I can't swallow it. I close my eyes, trying to make the black dots disappear but when I open them again they only seem to grow bigger. My arm shoots out by itself, my knuckles soon making contact with his throat. He automatically gags but this time his grip on me is not weakening. Instead his hands quickly move to my throat before he crashes my back into the nearest wall. My eyes close at the new add of pain. Everything in me is telling me to run at the first opportunity I get.

'' Thinking about running? '' New anger overpowers the pain and I spit into his face with a snarl. His eye twitches as my saliva sticks to his cheek. Suddenly he releases me. I gasp in new air, the bruising my throat took forgotten at the sweet feeling of oxygene. Joker turns away from me, his hand coming to his cheek to wipe my saliva off. Before I can slide down the wall and release my legs from the torture of having to carry my body right now, Joker turns back to me and punches me in the face. My whole body seems to bend in pain as I fall to the ground with a broken scream. I want to get up and hurt him. I want to just stay down and cry. I want to run. Joker seems to loose his interest in me now because he goes back to his desk. I force myself back onto my feet as he faces the other way. He only notices me as I stand right behind him. The same moment he turns I swing my foot up. I didn't have those lessons in self-defense for nothing. My kick is hard enough almost crack out his jar, he stumbles. Before he can recover I use the position I'm in to push him hard against the edge of his desk. I was hoping I could get him to fall but he quickly catches himself. Not giving me the chance to charge at him again he suddenly grabs a fistful of my hair to throw me on his desk. He's on me in two seconds and this time he has a vice-grip on me. One of his hands moves under my shirt, quickly finding the scar. I whimper as he digs his fingers into it,

'' See, this is what happens when you tempt me Angel! I told you before… _I can do what_ _ever the fuck_ _I want_ , no one's gonna stop me! You'd do well to remember who's in charge here because if you don't I will make sure your friends are the ones paying for you bullshit! '' I turn my face away from him but his hand quickly moves from the scar to my face. Joker's fingers are digging into my skin. I'm sure that my body will be full with bruises in no time. My teeth are grit so hard that it feels as if my jaw would break. And I actually believed there's something normal on him. Something nice. I was so convinced that this thing in the bath was solely a trick. I was stupid for believing he could have something nice on him. The thought hurts a little, more than I like to admit.

'' Are we clear? '' As I don't answer right away, his hand moves to my throat, giving me a warning squeeze. My eyes open at him. Suddenly he seems to be caught off his guard as he spots the tears of anger in my eyes, my voice quivering so faintly I doubt he even notices,

'' Yes. '' But he always notices everything. That's what Steve said. Are the guys in on this too? Is everything they said part of Joker's plan? Or am I taking things too far now, is my paranoia getting the better of me? I want to run. I want to stay. After everything that happened I want to stay. Is this what an abusive relationship feels like? No. I'm not letting him beat me up and hide then away from his anger. I'm fighting with him. He's better than me, yes, but I am fighting back. I'm not a victim.

… _Right?_

* * *

 

The tears in her eyes caught me off guard a little. I expected pain, but not tears. Not those tears. Tears of anger maybe, pain, sure. But fear? That's not what I got her clean for. To have her afraid. That's what made her so interesting in the first place, the fact that she _wasn't_ afraid of me. Don't tell me I went through the trouble for nothing. The thought to put a bullet through her head crosses my mind. But I don't want her dead. I didn't even want to hurt her like that. That's why I moved away as she was at the ground. There's a nagging at the back of my mind. I was ready to toss her around a little but I didn't plan to loose myself in this like that. She's not one of the idiots out there. Her already weakened body could easily have collapsed. Kudos to her for fighting back that long. Maybe this mess was worth it after all. But that doesn't change the current situation. As quickly as the fear came up in her eyes, it disappears and suddenly I'm wondering if that fear was even directed at me. I watch how her teeth quickly start chewing on her lip, old marks opening up again so that the faintest trail of blood pours out of them. She's still staring back at me, there's something stubborn in her eyes. How am I supposed to control myself with that delicious big mouth of hers? When she's looking at me like that? She knew she's pushing my buttons and she didn't stop. Not because she could't. She just didn't want to. She wanted to fight me. The moment I threatened the lives of her family she hated me. I underestimated her, I didn't think she would actually try to attack me. Not with the knife. And then she even went for my throat! If I wouldn't have dodged that attack I'd probably run the risk to bleed out right in front of her feet. She wouldn't let me bleed out. She would regret it almost instantly. But that doesn't stop her from reacting at first. I feel my own lips twitching slightly, my tongue wetting them in the same moment. Slowly my hand moves grab into my back-pocket and fetch a blade out of it. My eyes don't leave her face as I move the blade up to her throat, pressing the steel against her flesh. Her eyes don't close but the fear's not returning to them either. So I was right. She was afraid of something else, not me. A past memory maybe? Somebody in her past she can't forget? The same person that pushed her into the table?

I slide off the desk. Angel isn't making any attempt to do the same or at least sit up. She's starring at the ceiling. The first aid kit's in the bathroom. When I come back she's sitting up, her eyes closely taking in what I'm doing. Her lip and cheekbone are bruised, her skin split open. There's a dry trail of blood visible. Her throat shows a series of purple and blue marks. As wrong as they are, they look perfect on her. I put down the kit next to her in the intention to get her patched up but she stops me before I can open the kit. Her eyes are focused on the cut on my arm, her lip between her teeth. Her hand suddenly takes mine. Angel leads me to the bed and urges me to sit. Somehow I find myself unable to really break the silence that built up around us. Her soft hands work quick but I barely feel her touch. She rolls up my sleeve, cleans the injury and wraps a bandage around it. I almost flinch as her finger brushes the part of my jaw where her foot kicked me. Angel walks wordlessly into the bathroom. The sound of water running is the only noise in the room. The animals aren't in the room. The next thing I notice is that it started to rain out of buckets outside. The sky's dark, covered in gray clouds. That picture has something strangely calming right now. Almost. I look up as Angel steps out of the bathroom, the lack of blood on her face shows how wide her skin really split, how large the bruises really are. I don't stop her as she walks past me to stare out of the window. I don't want to face her only to see what I did to her mirrored in her face. I can't remember the last time I regret hurting someone like that.

'' There's no going back. '' I barely hear her soft voice. Was that her fear? Not being able to go back to how things where before? Is she afraid of the impact this whole thing has on her life? With a long sigh I get to my feet. She's not even flinching when I stop right behind her, her back almost touching my chest.

'' No. '' A bitter smile comes to her lips as she turns around to face me. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest, her hip resting against the windowsill. Her eyes lower, a darker look crossing them. She winces as she accidentally brushes the gap in her lip as her teeth chew on it. I cup one of her cheeks, hesistating only a heartbeat long before touching her. My thump moves to her mouth to gently pull her lip from her teeth. Angel doesn't even blink. After this fight her body should have evolved some kind of instinct to flinch at the sight of my hands coming close to her face. Instead her eyes meet mine again,

'' I'm not afraid of you...'' I can feel her jaw moving under my hands. Her own hand slowly rises to cover mine. I step in closer to her, she's not moving away. Her eyes flutter close the moment I lean my face down to her. Her other hand soon finds mine. She entwines our fingers and titles her head to the side to allow me to deepen the kiss. She faintly winces as I brush my tongue along her bottom lip and touch the gap in it. Her lips part, granting me easy access to her mouth. The same moment my tongue finds hers, a thunderbolt hits a tree close to the hideout, splitting it with a loud crack into two. Angel breaks the kiss to release a shocked screech as she jumps, almost knocking me over. I laugh loudly as she quickly turns to find out where the noise came from. Like a scared kitten her wide eyes dance along the area until she realizes what caused the noise. Slowly her cheeks flush with embarassement and I can't help but laugh,

'' Did the big bad thunderbolt scare ya Angel? '' The red on her cheeks becomes darker,

'' I hate you. ''

* * *

 

I leave the room a few minutes later to get away the tray and the broken shards. The cheese survived, so did the nutella. Joker didn't stop me as I moved away from him but he stayed at the window, watched how the fire of the burning tree slowly was put out by the rain. I sigh as I put the shards into the trash. The tray ends up in the same cabin where it was before, the cheese comes back into the fridge.

'' Whoa! What happened to your face? You look like shit! '' I look up to find Steve and Mason gaping at me.

'' Charming, really...''

'' Did the Boss do that to you? '' Mason asks again. I give him a look,

'' No I ran against a wall. Several times. ''

'' Just askin'. '' I brush it off quickly. I'm not in the mood to talk about the way my face looks right now. He almost seemed to regret it. At least he looked like it. I'm glad he dodged. I don't know how I would have reacted had I really managed to cut through his throat. I would probably have a break-down. It's not like I want him dead, I was just angry. I shake my head,

'' What are you even doing the whole day? I mean, I spend most of my time alone but it's not like you ever have the TV or anything to yourself. ''

'' Oh we got our ways to entertain ourselves. ''

'' Ways like...? '' Steve shrugs,

'' Most of the time we just take a look at the location. There's a lot of stuff here you can spend the day in. ''

'' I hang out in the Hard Rock Cafe sometimes. It's pretty nice there. '' Mason nods,

'' Yeah we wanted to go tomorrow. You don't even have to speak German to get through. ''

'' Köln's one of the places tourists like to go. Every big city is used to English costumers. ''

'' When we stay in we mostly end up playing cards, watching TV… Stuff like that. '' Steve mentions but then he grins,

'' And of course we have the bets…''

'' Funny. ''

'' Nah, cheer up. Wanna play a round of Poker? ''

'' I don't know how to play Poker. Actually… the only card games I know are for children...'' They both look at me a moment before they begin to laugh.

'' Oh man... We teach you, c'mon. '' Mason wraps an arm around my shoulder to urge me to follow them into the living room,

'' Jesus, what's with your face?! '' As soon as we enter the room, most eyes are on me and those who weren't looking before are now. I think his name is Logan but I wouldn't bet on it. I give him a dirty glare.

'' She doesn't know how to Poker. '' Steve mentions while falling into a chair. The man next to Logan glances at me surprised,

'' What? ''

'' Seriously? ''

'' You don't know how to Poker? ''

'' Who doesn't know how to Poker? '' I turn as I hear two more guys coming into the room. Matthew and Daniel, if I get it right. They stop as they see my face,

'' Damn, what happened to- '' He breaks off as he looks past me. When I turn I faintly see Logan making wild movements with his arms, gesticulating him to shut up.

'' Poker. '' I empathize, a little annoyed.

'' Take a seat and let the master teach you honey. '' Daniel is the next to put an arm around me. He leads me to the table, even pulls out a chair for me. I laugh while he takes his seat next to me. Just as he grabs for the cards, Anthony speaks up, causing Daniel to instantly freeze,

'' You ain't a master, you lost 5 rounds in a row. '' He glares over his shoulder, a small shadow of red on his cheeks.

'' Can't you just shut up for one fucking minute you fuckin' whore. ''

'' I'm just sayin', if you wanna impress a lady, find something you're actually good at. '' Anthony easily takes the cards out of his hands and sits then at my other side. Suddenly another pair of hands takes the cards and Logan sits down across me,

'' Back off losers, the real master's teaching now so listen up. Here look sweetheart, we start with the basics...''

About 2 hours later I won a couple of rounds and learned the guys' names. I laughed so much with them that my cheeks are hurting. Next to small attempts to impress me they all have a certain humor that got to me. As revenge for the betting about Joker's and my 'affair', I made another deal with them. They lost so it's neon-colored cloths for their next trip. Their muscular bodies will look hilarious in the stuff I have in mind. Leggins, net-shirts, stickers on their guns. I will gladly take any anger Joker will feel, this is worth it. If I would have lost, I'd have to walk around in my underwear for a day. I'm not quite sure how Joker would have reacted to that. As I was in the tub he didn't really try to look at my boobs or my vagina. He looked here and now but most of the time his focus was on my eyes. He can be a gentleman after all.

As I open the door to Joker's room, the dogs and the hyenas run past me and inside. They spend most of the time in the forest now that they have the chance to. I don't mind, they won't run off so they're free to go out.

'' The others taught me how to Poker. '' I say smiling as I see Joker giving me a glance.

'' Ya won? ''

'' Couple of times. ''

'' That's my girl. '' He grins at me with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes but turns then again back to his laptop. I walk around his desk with a small frown. He seems busy, I have to admit that makes me a little curiouse. All of this is new to me. Joker's world, even here in Germany, has something dark. It's strangely attractive. The moment I stand beside him he takes his arm away, silently offering me to sit in his lap. I feel my fingertips tingling slightly, my cheeks getting a faint shimmer of red. Joker doesn't take his arm down until I finally settled somewhat in his lap. The arm then comes back to the desk what abruplty captures me in my position.

'' We're leaving soon. '' I look at him surprised,

'' _We_? ''

'' You don't want to come along? ''

'' No that's not it. I just… I didn't think you would take me with you. '' I admit slowly. Suddenly he leans back in his char, a self-assured grin on his lips. His hand cups my cheek, his thump caressing the scar,

'' You _are…_ _my_ girl, Angel. You get to be _wherever you want_. '' His voice has a lower sound in it, something almost scary. I'm clean and obviously the way he wanted me to be. I almost feel like he created me. If he sees me as his… does that mean I won't be able to leave again? I don't want to leave, but there's a difference between wanting to stay and being forced to. My eyes fall close as I try to control the sudden beating of my heart,

'' A-are you sure you should go? I mean… you _were_ shot at. '' He chuckles. I bite my tongue as his mouth is suddenly at my neck,

'' I'm more than fine- '' A knock on the door interrupts him. I feel him growling against my skin before he leans back again. I try to get off him but one arm wraps firmly around my waist and keeps me in place.

'' What! '' The door opens and Steve comes in but he freezes as he sees me sprawled out on Joker's lap. I don't know if I've ever blushed this furiously in my life before. I feel the need to bury my face in Joker's shoulder but that probably wouldn't help the situation so I stare at the desk, my teeth chewing on my bottom lip and my hands tightly calsped in front of me. He'll never let me live that down.

'' W-we got everything ready. Matthew, Liam and Daniel are on their way to Berlin now. '' Joker laughs, I can feel his chest vibrating,

'' _Per-fec_ t! We're leaving earlier. Get everyone together. '' He clicks with his tongue at the 't' in the perfect.

'' Yes Boss. ''

'' Why didn't you let me up! '' I snarl as soon as the door's closed. My hands covering my cheeks in a bad attempt to hide the blush. He chuckles, his arm around my waist pulls me closer against him. His free hand grabs a hold of my chin again as he pulls my face so close to his that I feel his breathe on my lips,

'' What, and not show off a little? '' My eyes widen. I push my hands against his chest, try to get some distance between us but his grip on me is firm,

'' Do I look like a trophy to you? '' He eyes me up and down briefly before nodding firmly,

'' Yeah. '' I can't help myself but laugh at that. Of course Joker abruptly joins in on my giggling.

'' You're really childish sometimes. ''

'' _And_ … you're _really_ uptight. See, there's a lot we can learn from each other…'' I give him a playful glare,

'' I'm not uptight! ''

'' 'Stay in bed Joker! Do this Joker, do that Joker! You were shot at, you need to rest!' '' I look at him with my mouth wide open as his voice suddenly becomes two octaves higher to ape me,

'' I don't sound like that! ''

'' _You_ _do_. ''

'' Well you aren't any better! 'I'm bored here Angel, come and do this there Angel. Oh our bath and the night in the forest seemed pretty real to me!' '' He smirks,

'' Guilty, I do that. '' I swat his shoulder. He chuckles in return. There's this feeling of comfort in me again that I had in the tub. I like this Joker, the one that makes me laugh despite the fact that I'm not on my pills anymore. It's so easy for me to just let go when I'm here with him like that. I sigh in defeat,

'' I'm just worried okay? Being shot at is _not_ nothing, it's frikkin' dangerous. ''

'' Angel I've seen far worse. '' He suddenly pulls his shirt up, his finger pointing at the scar I noticed before. The one that goes square over his torso.

'' See that here? That wasn't some ridiculous gun, that's what ya get when you anger dearest Slade. ''

'' Who? ''

'' Oh I'm sure you heard about him. Better known as Death Stroke. '' There's a sudden excited flutter in my heart, my mouth opens in a wide grin,

'' You mean _Slade Wilson_?! The Hitman? ''

'' I knew you heard of him. ''

'' Heard from him... ... _adoredhim_...''

'' Come again? '' He gives me a look. I shrug my shoulders, smiling slyly,

'' I... well... I kinda used to had a _tiny_ little crush on him. He's, like, awesome. '' Joker seems scandalized.

'' A crush?! On that old grease?! You realize he's _a lot_ older than me? ''

'' It was just a crush. Like the thing you have with Batman- Oh that was a bad comparison…'' I mutter the last part. I should have thought that through first. Before Joker has the time to really lose his temper I quickly hold my hand up,

'' It's just something like a celebrity-crush. Not that I really would have to justify any crush to you. ''

'' _Have_? '' I shrug again.

'' He's still hot. That didn't change just because you showed up. '' Joker's eyes narrow, he nods to the bathroom,

'' Get dressed Angel before I'm losin' it. '' I nod and quickly get off his lap.

'' I don't have anything I really could wear…''

'' We'll get ya a mask on the way. There's a carnival-shop basicially around the corner. '' I mentally skip through the area for a moment, trying to find out what shop he means. I give him a look,

'' If we're talking about the same shop then it's not 'around the corner', it's an hour away. ''

'' 's almost the same. Grab what you wanna keep and the rest we get there. '' I nod. I have my black leather jacket with me. It's thin and not really leather so I can easily wear it when it's warm out too. Even though Joker saw me naked before I change in the bathroom. I put on my slightly sliced pair of black jeans and a gray shirt that has the word 'Meow' printed on it in black letters. The shirt sits rather tight but it's comfortable and it looks pretty good with the jacket. Joker comes into the bathroom just as I'm done with my makeup. It's nothing big, just mascara, black eyeshadow, brown-ish blusher and blush-red lip gloss. Joker whistles impressed as he looks me over, a grin soon coming to his lips. He's back in his suit. I liked the casual look on him but I have to say that this full attire makes him strangely attractive. But maybe that's just the current situation. My brain is bonding to the man from the bathroom, not the man that tortures innocents. My common sense can separate this but my mind can't. Not that easy. But as long as I know the difference logically everything's alright.

I sit down on the edge of the tub and watch him as he smeares the greasepaint messily over his face. As he really notices me starring, only one eye is missing the black color. I laugh when he looks at me,

'' What? ''

'' Nothing. You just look really funny when one eye's black and the other isn't. '' He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I crackle up again. Joker rubs his hands together after finishing his 'makeup' what partly gets rid of the paint but at the same time it's just getting it all over his hands. I noticed this before. There's always traces of paint on his knuckles. I stand up when he puts the paintings back to where I sorted them into the cabin. He gives me a smirk, the same one he gave me the past days but the makeup makes it different. He's different now.

'' C'mon darlin', we need to get you a mask or something like that. The hood alone won't do. '' As he passes me he slaps my butt but before I can lash out at him, his arm drapes around my shoulders and he pulls me against him. Is this his way to show off?

Steve, Mason, Joker and I get into one car. Most of the others are gone already. I only see Daniel, Logan and Jacob loading another car. The guys each give me a look that clearly tells me that Steve already told everyone that he came in with me on Joker's lap. I throw Steve a small glare but he chuckles it off.

We need a little under an hour to get to the carnival-shop. Steve and Mason wait in the car while Joker quickly gets into the shop through the door on the back. I have the hood as far over my head as possible and never turn my face towards the camera. Joker told me where they are. He's not even going to shut them off or destroy them. Like he doesn't care. I wonder if this is part of his way of showing off.

I don't need long to find a mask. It's black and shaped in form of the head of a cat. The mask covers my nose but only little of my cheekbones what gives them a sharper look. At the upper ends are two simple ears and the eyes are a little egyptian formed. I look over my shoulder at Joker to find him smirking at me. The material feels light on my skin and the eyeslots are wide enough for me to see everything properly. My hood stops right at the ears.

'' Do you have _claws_ , kitty kat? '' Suddenly Joker's right behind me, his chest touching my back. I turn to face him, no longer nervous about the cameras. I don't think anyone would recognize me. Such a mask can make you a whole different person. That's what I need. To be a different person, someone non-existing that doesn't has to follow any rules.

'' I think you know the answer. '' His smirk changes into something darker as he stares me down. I stand my ground, I don't back off as he steps even closer. He leans down to me then, his face inches from mine. But he never says anything, he doesn't kiss me either. Instead he straightens his back after a few seconds and nods towards the door on the back,

'' Let's go. '' My steps suddenly feel lighter.

 

* * *

 

As we get to the church we soon spot a police-car standing at each side. Joker laughs next to me and leans more into the seat, obviously not bothered at all by the situation,

'' Someone's getting paranoid now. That's _interesting_. '' Mason parks the car on a parking lot 5 minutes away from the church.

'' Does the plan change in any way Boss? '' Steve asks after getting out of the car. He makes a dismissive gesture with his hand,

'' Just _don't_ get caught. Oh and if you _do_ get caught, do me the favor and _shoot_ _y_ _ou_ _rself_ will ya? '' I cross my arms over my chest firmly and give him a disbelieving glare before huffing,

'' ...Jerk...'' He looks at me with an odd look and holds his hand behind his ear,

'' What was that? ''

'' Nothing. '' I look away and scrunch my nose almost in arrogance on what he snorts,

'' Bitch. ''

'' Prick. ''

'' Do you need anything?! '' Joker suddenly barks, causing Steve and Mason to wince,

'' N-no Boss! Sorry! '' I giggle at their shocked faces and Joker's glare. As soon as they begin to take everything they need out of the car and make their way to the church, Joker grabs me on my hand and pulls me along until we're standing on the roof of the shop across the street. I can't deny that the lack of distance to the church makes me a little uncomfortable right now. If the chruch will exlplode, the small space we have between us now won't be enough to keep us from being hit by anything.

'' Are you sure that this is safe? I mean 1st class seats are nice and all but the thought of being hit by something really takes some of the glamor. '' Joker only faintly glances at me, his eyes more focused on the church and the police around it.

'' Scared? ''

'' Well the fact that something big and burning could easily crash into me is not very alluring. ''

'' Stay where you are and you're gonna survive. '' There's still a small pulling in my stomach. Call it feminine instinct but I don't have a good feeling right now.

'' Hands up! '' I wince at the shout behind us and the sound of a gun unlocking. Out of instinct I want to turn but Joker's eyes clearly tell me to stand still. Suddenly I remember the mask on my face. Joker slowly walks past me to put himself between me and the officer. While I'm not sure if the cop would really kill me, having Joker right there behind me gives me a feeling of safety.

'' _Ooooo_ _h_ hello, _O_ __fficer_ _! '' I shudder at the sound of his voice. This is the voice he had in the bus and as he first stood in my room. That voice that's so full with arrogance and madness that it's almost taking my breathe away. That voice has it's own aura, it's own life.

'' Stay where you are! '' I hear a quiver in the young man's voice and Joker's chuckle lets on he heard it too.

'' Ich hab den Joker. Er ist auf dem Dach des Supermarktes gegenüber. Da ist ein Mädchen bei ihm, was soll ich tun? '' (I have the Joker. He's on the roof of the Supermarket across the street. There's a girl with him, what am I supposed to do?) I close my eyes in the attempt to hear what the person he's contacting answers. Why isn't Joker doing anything? Another voice on the radio soon answers the man, tells him to keep Joker at bay, that they're sending in reinforcement. I can hear another voice in the background asking for what's happening. With a glance downwards I see reporters. How the hell did they get here so soon?

'' Yer interrupting _a date_ ya know that? That's really _rude_. '' Joker grumbles almost innocently. I yelp in surprise as he suddenly grabs me and pulls me against him, my face in his chest, his arm around my neck. I want to ask what the hell he's doing but then I feel him slipping something into my pocket.

'' Let the girl go! ''

'' If you insist… but I can't say she'll like you. '' I almost follow Joker as he takes a step away from me, his arms rising above his head. I turn around to look at the officer, he really is quite young. He has a friendly, handsome face. I fear the light in his brown eyes will soon vanish. I doubt that Joker will allow the guy to just ruin this thing here.

'' Schnell, kommen Sie zu mir. '' (Quick, come to me) He keeps his gun pointed at Joker but his eyes move to me. I bite my lip hard and set moving. As soon as I'm in reach of the cop one of his hands grabs me on my arm to pull me behind him,

'' Alles wird wieder gut. '' (Everything's gonna be alright)

'' Nicht für dich. '' (Not for you) He turns to look at me surprised. The moment he faces me, I swing my foot into his head. The self-defense lessons might not work with Joker, but they do for situations like that. The officer falls to the ground but the gun is still in his hand. I quickly rip it out of his hand. Just as I'm standing, a shot runs through the air and I have blood all over me. I freeze, my eyes wide and focused on the hole in the man's head. His eyes are wide, starring at me, I can see my reflection in them.

'' Angel? ''

'' I-I'm fine…'' I mutter, peeling my eyes off the man at my feet. I wipe the blood off my cheek with the back of my hand and look up at Joker. He's right in front of me, looking at my hands. I know they're trembling. There's not enough time for us to really say anything because we both hear people running up the stairs to reach the roof. Joker nods for me to hide behind the house around the staircase. I climb onto the house so that I see 4 men crashing through the door. They abruptly stop as they see their colleague lying on the ground.

'' Verdammt…'' (Damn it) Joker laughs at their shock what causes them to instantly point their guns at them. Joker didn't even try to shoot them while they were starring at the dead body. Is he planning to play with them?

'' Where's the girl?! '' The oldest officer of the group screams at Joker who only raises an eyebrow at them,

'' Now, there's no need to yell. I can hear you perfectly fine- ''

'' The girl! '' He rolls his eyes dramatically and raises his hands above his head,

'' And _I_ thought Germans are the _polite_ _folks_. You _really_ need to work on your behavior, live up to your reputation. On the other hand... you also have quite a bad humor cause, y'know, you don't have _any_. ''

'' Sieh dich mal um. '' (Go take a look around) The officer tells the man next to him. The man nods and I quickly duck as he turns towards me. I hear him walking around the house before abruptly stopping. Carefully I lift my head again but when I spot him I feel my heart sinking to my knees. He's holding my phone in his hands. When did I lose that?! He presses the button that unlocks the display. Of course, out of all the pictures I could have chosen, I have a picture of Bonny, Lily and myelf as my lockscreen. My teeth grit. I learned how to choke someone silently as I burned down that laboratory but they always make some noise and he could just as well turn before I reach him. I have to take that risk. If he reaches the others and one of them recognizes me I'm in trouble. Quitely but quickly I get off the roof and sneak up behind him. I wrap my arm around his throat so that his neck is in the crook of my elbow. With my biceps and forearm I cut off the blood supply to his carotid arteries what quickly puts him to sleep. With a lot of effort I manage to put his body silently to the ground. I take a moment to get back my breathe. He didn't have much of a chance to break free from my graps but he was taller and heavier than me what made his struggling really troublesome. As soon as I can control my breathing and the beating of my heart I pick my phone off the ground and peek then around the corner. The other guys are still facing me with their backs, none of them seems to notice that their colleague is still missing. The roof is not that big, they should grow suspicious but having The Joker in front of them probably is a distraction.

'' Answer the question you freak! '' I see Joker popping his neck suddenly, his tongue licking his lips. The playfull expression grows more dangerous and those idiots don't even see it.

'' _Frrreak?!_ '' A cold shudder runs down my back. I will defintively not use that word anywhere in the future.

'' Tell me where the girl is! '' I make my mind up quickly and sneak up behind them. Joker soon spots me, the grin on his face getting more amused again. Is he really waiting for me to make my move? If he wanted to he could easily have taken them out minutes ago. Is this a test? As I see the officer's finger moving to the trigger of his gun, I jump on his back from behind. My legs wrap around his chest, my nails digging deep into his skin as I scratch them over his face. He screams in pain, I feel blood pouring out of the lashes. Another shot and the officer right next to me falls to the ground lifeless. The man I'm sitting on drops backwards and we both falls to the ground hard. I whimper at the pain in my back but move my legs to his throat to choke him. The last officer aims his gun at me, ready to shoot. My eyes widen. Suddenly Joker's behind him. One hand grabs the officer's face, one of his fingers digging into his eyes, the others pulling on his skin as he cuts through his throat with a knife in his other hand. He carelessly allows the body to drop to the ground. My legs let go of the unconscious man but before I can move away from him, Joker pushes his knife into the man's stomach to gut him. Right now I think I'm growing sick. Joker easily pushes the man away from me and instantly kneels down in front of me,

'' I'm feeling a little sick right now…'' I mutter as I can't stop myself from looking.

'' Well there's a perfectly good stomach you can- ''

'' Oh please don't finish that! '' I close my eyes, try to force down that image in my head. I can deal with what happened but that doesn't mean I really like it. What he did was brutal. But I knew that from the beginning. I knew who I'm dealing with here and that didn't stop me from coming closer to him. Just because he has his nice, somewhat sane, moments with me doesn't mean he changed. And I didn't think that. But being confronted with this so abruptly is somewhat… overwhelming.

As Joker suddenly pushes the jacket off my shoulder I flinch at a stabbing pain running through my shoulder. The injury opened up again and there's blood visible through my shirt. I take his hand from the wound,

'' There's someone else. Behind there… He saw my lockscreen. '' Joker's fingers stop twitching for a second, his eyes boring into my skull. Wordlessly he goes around the corner to where the man should be. I hear him clicking with his tongue, humming. It's taking some of the humanity in him I discovered. I slowly rise to my feet as I hear the humming dying down.

'' You… _have_ claws, kitten…'' He mutters as he comes back to me, his hand running along my hip and up my side as he walks around me. The blood of his glove rubbing into my clothing. He suddenly turns me, my back to his chest and one of his hands grabbing mine.

'' _Now_ pull 'em _in_ an- _d_ don't waste your _pretty_ _blood_ to anyone but _me_. '' He presses my hand onto the wound tighly while pushing me forwards to where we stood before. Soon more police cars arrive and I wonder if Mason and Steve are doing alright. Joker isn't concerned, he's amused. The reporters are waiting at the front door of the supermarket for the cops to come out. At 11pm Joker has the detonator ready and pushes the button. Even though I was expecting the explosion, the loud noise still has me jumping a little. The main building blows up first, windows are bashing and glass is tossed everywhere as the fire breaks free. The bells make loud noises as they break from their bars and crash to the ground. The people that were rather close to the church scream, some fall to the ground. At first it seems like panic would break loose but the reporters are too busy doing their job to be scared. It's like watching a movie. Cops are barking orders, trying to get the civilians away from the danger-zone. Reporters are ignoring that, trying to get the best possible shot of everything and the gaping crowd stands around. Joker's laughter doesn't make me flinch this time. It only seems to push my adrenaline up even more. I'm not doing anything, I'm still standing with Joker right behind me, his hand still pressing mine to the wound and his other grabbing my shoulder as if to make sure I look. I've never felt this alive. This is better than any rush a drug could give me. Nothing compares to this. It's addictive.

'' It's exciting isn't it? Breaking the rules. ''

'' The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. '' And the Joker isn't following any rules but his own. If he even has some that means. I wonder if there was a time in his life where he did listen to rules. Was he ever a normal kid? Did he grow up on the street? Has he had a family? I know he has none now but maybe there was one before. Maybe they are the reason that he turned out the way he did. Maybe he was like this before. Fact is that, right now, Joker is freedom. No, that's not right. He is the way to freedom. Joker has the key to my cage but if he wants to open it and let me out is entirely his choice. It's scary but at the same time it's… strangely alluring. I lean back into him, my voice an almost dreamy whisper,

'' It's beautiful…'' I turn my head as I hear him chuckle. He's winning this thing and I don't even mind. I don't mind him turning me around and kissing me like we're lovers. I don't try to resist the urge to wrap my arms around his neck as he deepens the kiss, as he pulls me closer to him. The fire and the shouting of the firefighters drowns as I part my lips and his tongue slides into my mouth. I feel his scars on the edges of my mouth and I'm not sure that I ever felt this attracted to someone.

The phone in his pocket going off causes us to break apart then. I'm pretty sure that Joker considers to haul the phone across the roof for a moment.

'' _The air's getting real tight 'round here Boss._ '' I hear Mason saying, he seems out of breathe. Joker ends the call without speaking up once.

'' You heard it Kitten, off we go. '' I nod and follow him back to the car. The doors are closed, the car is silent and there's no light on but when we open the door, Steve and Mason are already waiting. They took the clown masks off by now and I do the same with mine. As they each recieve a nasty glare from Joker they're clearly confused. I quickly shake my head as Mason opens his mouth, probably to ask what they did wrong. His mouth snaps close and we drive off.

We're the first group arriving in the hideout and Joker abruptly drags me into his room to once more take care of the injury on my shoulder. I can't deny the released breathe as he once more says that it won't need stitching. That only the upper layer of skin ripped open again as the officer crashed both of us to the ground.

 

* * *

 

'' Angel, why don't you make us somethin' nice to eat? '' I look at him with a lifted eyebrow and cross my arms,

'' Do I look like a cook to you? ''

'' _Yes_. '' I glare at him only for a second before smiling,

'' Fine. I'll go make dinner. ''

'' Hey Angel! Don't even _think_ about spitting into my food. ''

'' I wasn't thinking of it. '' I say breifly over my shoulder before closing the door and walking into the kitchen,

'' I'll poison it...''

 

* * *

 

Joker and the others all leave on the next day somewhat around 7. I didn't try to stop him but I didn't want to come along either. Despite the euphoric feeling that was rushing all through my body yesterday, I really can't deny that the lack of pills is bringing back depressive phases where I just need to lie in bed and listen to music. It's not as bad as before, maybe for the new occupations, but it's still tiring. Joker and I were watching a movie before he left. I took a long shower a little while after the guys were gone and got dressed in my sweatpants and a tank top. The Hyenas and dogs stayed with me so I grab some bread and take them for a walk in the forest with the intention to find Alexander. He soon finds me and lands abruptly on my shoulder. I smile as I see how healthy he looks. His feathers are shining in the sunlight that comes through the trees.

'' Hey sweetie, how are you doing? Did you find a friend by now? '' He screeches at me and starts nibbling at my ear, letting me know he's hungry. I sigh overly dramatic but grab then into my pocket with a grin to fetch the bread out of it,

'' You know, I'll not be here all the time. You need to find food on your own- '' We both wince as there are suddenly voice close by. Alexander abruptly takes off. I call the hyenas and dogs to my side as quietly as possible and hide with them in some bushes. Hannibal growls as the voices grow louder. I shush him. Of course, out of all the times I could have left it behind, I forgot my phone now. Maybe the voices just belong to some hikers, but I really doubt it. As soon as I spot the owners of the voices that idea completely vanishes from my mind. There are 6 men and all of them are armed. They aren't just checking out the location, they're walking right towards the hideout. They know exactly where to go. Did they wait for Joker and the others to go or was that just luck? I follow them with some distance, the 4 animals right behind me. As soon as I see the hideout I stop. They opened both doors, one of them stands in front of them. Probably to look out for Joker and the others. After making sure my babies stay where they are I walk around the hideout. I breathe out in release as I see that I left the window to Joker's room open and that the room is empty. I don't need long to quickly come out of the forest and climb through the window. The door's not closed but it's only open a small gap. I can hear them roaming around but I can't make out what they're saying. From what it sounds like they're looking through the other rooms.

_That means I don't have much time._

Without making any noise I creep up to the small commode next to the bed where I put my phone. As soon as I grabbed it, I hurry back to the desk to hide behind it. The passing seconds where Joker isn't picking up right away and I'm only met with the beeping sound tense me up more and more. I almost breathe out as Joker finally answers,

 _''_ __Angel, already missing me?_ _ _''_

 _'_ '' There's someone in the house… '' I wince as I hear something breaking outside and instinctively hide a little more behind the desk. 

_''_ __What_ _ _? ''_

'' I saw 6 men . They're in the house and armed. '' I hear Joker barking at whoever is driving to turn around. My pulse is racing by now. Having Joker on the phone doesn't change that. They left over an hour ago, he could be god knows where. 

_''_ __Where are you?_ _ _''_

'' Climbed in through the window because I left my phone here. ''

 _''_ __There's_ _ __a gun in the left upper drawer. Grab it and get outa there._ _ _''_

'' I don't know how to shoot. ''

 _''_ __Unlock it, aim, shoot. Simple._ _ _''_

'' I don't even know how to unlock it…! '' I whisper harshly. I know I should just be getting out but something's keeping me where I am. I hear more stuff breaking outside, they're yelling at each other. I need a moment to realize that they're not talking english. Why would there be German guys after something in the Joker's hideout?

 _''_ __Angel we'll need some time to get back so move yer ass outa the damn house and hide in the fuckin' forest! Now!_ _ _''_

'' I think they're looking for something. They're going through the rooms- '' Suddenly someone runs around the desk. The man's tall, around Anthony's muscles and with a nasty scar going over his left eye. He looks like he 's straight out of some horror movie. I scream in the same moment he pounces at me and roll to the side. The man crashes to the ground right next to me, I can feel his skin brushing mine. I instantly jump to my feet and run to the window, the phone still clasped in my hand. The guy's faster than he looks like. Before I could jump out of the window, his arms wrap around me from behind. If he presses me any closer to his body I'm sure my ribs will break. 

'' Who are you! '' His voice is rough, slurry from the accent. I grit my teeth and try to struggle free from him but as his arms close tighter around my body I give another husky scream.

'' Get your fucking hands off me! '' I throw my head into my neck to crash my skull into his nose. At the same time I kick my heels hard into his knees. With a pained groan he lets go of me. As soon as my arms are free I wrap them around his neck and toss his body over mine to send him to the ground. Those self-defense tricks might not work with Joker but maybe they work here. I don't even get the chance to try the window again because I suddenly hear more people behind me. When I turn I see two more men aiming their guns at me. Out of the corners of my eyes I see the other man getting back to his feet and picking up my phone….

 

* * *

 

The moment Angel told me there are some guys in the house I reached behind the seat for my laptop. I always take it with me. The stuff on that thing is too important to just leave it behind. While Angel quickly explains the situation to me I let my latop build up a connection to the footage. Turns out installing cameras was a good idea after all. Angel was right, 6 guys with guns and they're trashing the whole hideout. I switch to the camera in my room to find Angel crouching behind the desk, her body shaking slightly and the phone tightly grasped in her hand . Before I can warn her about the fucker running into the room, he's already around the desk and pouncing at her. She manages to duck and runs to the window but the guy grabs her from behind before she can jump out. There's a small smirk tugging on my lips as she rams her head into his nose, probably cracking it and kicks her foot against his knee. The moment his grip on her weakins somewhat she frees herself and throws him swiftly over her shoulder. She gets no chance to run out, the noises already alarmed more of the intruders. Two more stand in the door and point their guns at Angel who grew deadly still. I watch how another man comes into the room and catches the phone that the guy behind Angel tosses at him. He looks at the display a moment. The moment he holds the phone to his ear I growl,

'' If you touch that girl you'll regret it…! '' He seems surprised for a moment before smirking somewhat,

'' Touch her you say ? Like that-? '' He swiftly turns to her and punches her in the face. My teeth grit as Angel abruptly crashes to the ground with a rough scream. Her body's not yet really recovered from the withdrawal, it's breakable. The fight with me was more than enough for her, she won't survive a nother beating. There's something clenching inside me as two guys pull her back to her feet, an tight grip on each of her arm s . One of them has his hand in her hair to pull her head back, forcing her to look at the man with the phone. Her eyes have a somewhat duller look, probably from the pain and the state her body's in. My teeth grit in anger,

'' Big big _big_ mistake…''

'' We want something you have. Tell us where to find it and we let your little whore go. ''

'' D'ya really think that blackmailing _me_ … is, heh, such a smart idea? ''

'' She called you instead of running away. That means she must be somewhat important to you. -Aren't you, sweetheart? '' He allows his dirty hand to run over her cheek, his eyes staring into hers. Now I know what the trembling is. I'm furiouse . I'm ready to tear that fucker apart with my bare hands the moment he's in my reach. Angel's eyes suddenly narrow dangerously and without giving the guy a chance to pull his hand back, she bites into it. There's abruptly blood covering her mouth and dripping to the ground. The guy howls in pain and drops the phone to the ground to use his free hand to smack her across the face while the guys that hold her, pull her off but her jaw stays put. As he finally manages to pull his hand free, the bones of his index, pointing and ring finger are almost completely bitten through. Angel uses the distance he takes from her to examine his badly bleeding hand to ram her foot down on one of the guy's so that he too, releases her. She quickly turns to the last in the room and lashes out at him. Her nails leave deep bleeding marks right across his face and the agonized scream lets on that she hit one of his eyes. Angel then stomps her foot down on the phone hard and I abruptly hear the connection breaking.

'' Fucking stupid bitch! '' I hurl my own phone across the van where it crashes against a wall. Angel runs to the door, a gun tightly grasped in her hand but the guy on whose foot she stomped is close behind her, the leader of the group calling after him,

'' Fang sie! '' (Snatch her!) The door's blocked by another guy so that she storm into the kitchen, her back against the counter and the gun risen in front of her face. Her finger are fumbling with the weapon, she's trembling.

'' Unlock, aim, shoot- '' A bullet hits the cabin right next to her head and out of instinct he drops to the floor with a small scream of shock. The gun is ripped out of her hand and a kick to her stomach has her coughing up blood. The guy rips her off the ground again and pulls her out of the kitchen where he throws her against the wall. Angel's not even trying to get back to her feet. She just looks up at the 4 men in front of her. The leader is still in my room, wrapping up his hand to make sure his fingers stay where they are. T he one with the scratches covers his left eye as if it would pop out should he drop his hand. The other 3 have their guns pointed at her, 

'' Du kleines Mitstück! '' (You little bitch!) Angel just looks up at them for a moment before slowly rising one arm. My brows furrow as she points at herself questioning,

'' Yes you! Who else! ''

'' Ich weiß nicht, vielleicht meine Haustiere. '' (I dunno, maybe my pets.) They almost lower their weapons as they look at her smirk in surprise,

'' Du…- '' (You)

'' _Fass_ _!_ '' (Attack) The moment she yells, the 4 animals dash into the house and attack each one of the men. The animals bite into their wrists as they pounce at them so that the men are forced to drop their guns in order to defend themselves. The dogs then go directly for their throats, as if Angel trained them. Maybe she did. The 2 men are pushed to the ground by the animals, deperately struggling to get them off and protect themselves from their teeth and claws. But the dogs are on them as if they're bloodthirsty beasts. The 2 Hyenas tackle another one of the guys and bite whatever place they find, too small to take one guy alone but still dangerous. Angel pushes herself off the ground and jumps onto the last guy from behind. She wraps her legs around his upper torso tightly to keep her balance while her nails once more pull over his face so that the slightly damaged eye is now defintively scratched out of his skull. I feel a wide smirk forming on my face, so that little vixen knows how to defend herself after all. She was not that coldblooded as she went on against me. I don't know if I should feel insulted or honored.

From the camera in my room I see the leader quickly finishing the work on his hand before running out of the room. Steve shouts a warning next to me which is, of course, completely useless as the guy shoots at her. The bullet only brushes her arm through the extreme shaking the guy she's sitting on does. The sudden injury still causes Angel to fall off the guy, screaming. The man she was attacking drops down unconscious right on top of her. She struggles under him, tries to push him off but his body's probably too heavy. The guy's bigger than Anthony and she's hurt. Not even the adrenaline pumping through her veins makes this any easier. As soon as she finally struggled free the guy's right next to her and sends a kick to her stomach as she tries to crawl aside. She gasps for air, her eyes wide and her arm holding her stomach as she coughs up more blood. I bite the inside of my scar hard as he grabs her on her throat and pulls her up to slam her against the wall. As one of the dogs notices that, he releases the throat of the man who's right now bleeding out. Before the dog can attack the leader, he shoots at it. The dog falls to the ground, its leg bleeding heavily. Angel screams, her eyes wide open in horror. I clench my hands to fists, the prostest my knuckles give goes completely past me.

'' Lass los- '' (Let go) She tries to struggle free but another hit to the head has her still,

'' Du sprichst meine Sprache! Du bist nicht von _da_ ! Also was für eine Wert hast du?! '' (You speak my language! You're not from _there_! So what kind of value do you have!?) She looks up at him with narrowed eyes but there's far less danger in them right now than there is pain and defeat. I can barely see the tears in her eyes through the camera but they're there. Every time her dog whimpers, she flinches. As the other dog is convinced that the man beneathe him won't get up again he too tries to attack but Angel abruptly snaps at him,

'' Stop! '' Her voice breaks but the dog abruptly listens. It's still growling but it makes no move to attack. The guy smirks,

'' Guter Zug. '' (Good move). Angel grits her teeth,

'' Was willst du. '' (What do you want)

'' Die Liste vom Joker. '' (The list of the Joker) Her eyes narrow in confuse, her hand coming up to the wrist of the other man,

'' Was für ne Liste- '' (What list-) As his grip on her tightens she breaks off, a gag forcing itself from her throat. There's saliva flowing down her chin. I look out of the window, we're still some time away from the house.

'' Der Clown ist hier weil er Menschen töten will und ich will wissen _wen_! Also wo ist sie! '' (The Clown's here because he wants to kill people and I want to know who! So where is it!) I feel like shooting something. That's what he's making a fuss about? That fucking piece of paper? This could all have been prevented if Angel wouldn't have tried to play the fucking hero and smash the phone. I don't care about them knowing who I'm here for, I will kill them one way or the other. The only thing they maybe could do is postpone it. But no, our little miss genius had to stick her nose into something beyond her! Angel looks confused for a long time before slowly realizing what he's talking about. Of course she knows, she cleaned the desk. She must have seen it then.

'' Verpiss dich. '' (Piss off) He hits her hard with the grip of his gun and the skin of her cheek, where I hit her, brusts open again. She would fall to the ground if his hand wouldn't still be on her throat. A pained whimper forces itself through her grit teeth,

'' Warum tust du dir das an? Es ist nur ein verdammtes Stück Papier. '' (Why are you doing this to yourself? It' just a stupid piece of paper)

'' Ich tue… den Leuten die auf mich schießen nicht gerne Gefallen… Siehs als Angewohnheit. '' (I don't like doing guys that shoot at me a favor. See it as a habit.) The guy looks her over and smirks. I want to cut those lips off his face and shove him down his throat. He likes to smile? I can give him a permanent one. His hand on Angel's throat is like a slap to the face to me. He has no idea that I can see him but that doesn't change anything. I warned him. I told him to keep his slimy hands off that girl. And here he is, touching what's rightfully mine!

''… Boss she won't stand that for long…'' Steve mutters next to me, his eyes not moving off the screen. He's worried. He knows she'll be dead if we don't get there soon.

'' Then tell your fucking boyfriend to _stop_ _driving_ like the Devil itself _wouldn't_ _sit_ _in his bloody back_! '' Steve jumps at my outburst and abruptly moves to the front but Mason heard him. The car's driving faster. Not fast enough.

'' War er das? '' (Was that him)

'' Willst du mich verarschen? Du hast mir doch geschlagen du dummes Arschloch! '' (Are you kidding me? You were the one that hit me you fucking asshole)

'' Warum verteidigst du jemanden der dich verprügelt? '' (Why are you defending someone who's beating you up?) There's a flash of hurt in her eyes, for a moment she almost looks like she's asking herself the same thing. Slowly a cheeky smirk turns up the corners of her lips,

'' Ich hab meinen Fetisch. '' (I've got my fetish.) A dry laugh comes from my throat. He hits her again and slams her head another time into the wall. The dogs try to attack again but they stay down as Angel once more rises her hand. The guy notices that with a smirk. He knows hurting those beasts will hurt her. That girl's too predictable for her own good.

'' Sag mir wo sie ist. Oder…'' (Tell me where it is. Or…) He slowly moves gun to point it at her already hurt dog. Angel's eyes widen. She tries to sturggle free,

'' Lass sie in Ruhe! '' (Leave her alone!) He unlocks it and aims but Angel screams,

'' Ein Safe! Sie ist in einem Safe. Ich kenne die Kombination nicht…'' (A safe! It's inside a safe. I don't know the combination) She breaks off, obviously not finished yet. The man's smirk becomes wider, victory clearly written all over his face. That fucking disgusting face that's so close to the one of my woman…!

'' Rede weiter. '' (Go on.)

'' Aber ich kann sie dir beschaffen. '' (But I can get it for you.) She's stalling them. She knows we're on out way back.

'' Wie? '' (How)

'' Ich hab _Methoden_ um das zu kriegen was ich will. '' (I got _methodes_ to get what I want) His grin becomes dirty, his eyes roaming her body. I will break him. I will make him suffer like no one else suffered before. He removes his hand from her throat enough for her to breathe in properly but not enough for her to slide down the wall,

'' Was willst du dafür? Außer Leben meine ich. '' (What do you want for this? Next to staying alive I mean.)

'' Die Hälfte von dem was du kriegst. '' (Half of what you get.)

'' Wie kommst du darauf das wir bezahlt werden? '' (Why do you think we're getting paid?) She nods to the other 4 men on the ground,

'' Deine Freunde haben sich von ein paar Tieren und ner Frau zusammenschlagen lassen. Ihr könnt nicht mehr sein als Handlanger. Du bist clever… aber kein Chef. '' (Your friends let themselves get beaten up by a bunch of animals and a woman. You can't be anything more than goons. You are clever… but not a Boss) He seems almost satisfied with her answer. He looks her over again before taking a step back, allowing her weak body to slide to the ground. The guy observes her and laughs after glancing at his hand,

'' Du bist… echt gut. '' (You're… really good) Angel glances up at him from her position on the ground. Slowly she pushes herself back to her feet, her back resting against the wall. She's not capable to walk on her own. It's impressive she can even still stand. The lack of answer Angel provides doesn't seem to bother him, he steps closer again,

'' Vielleicht stell ich dich vor. '' (Maybe I introduce you)

'' Danke, ich lehne ab. '' (Thanks but I rather decline) He humms and waves his gun then at the animals. The male is next to the hurt female, licking her wounds. The Hyneas are growling at the man in front of Angel.

'' Schick sie raus. Ist nichts persönliches aber ich trau weder dir, noch den Biestern. '' (Send them out. Nothing personal but I neither trust you nor your beasts.) I feel the sudden urge to punch her as Angel complies with some hesiation. She scrambles to her feet and runs to the hurt female on the ground. The bullet barely pierced the dog's leg what seems to calm her a little bit. But that doesn't stop the single tear from running down her cheek. She helps the dog up slowly and sends them out. To her it might seem like the best possible course but it's clearly not.

_Fucking stupid wannabe-hero-bitch_

The moment the door's closed and the dogs are locked out, they guy's on her. He grabs both her wrists in one of his hands and puts her arms over her head so that they're crossed. Angel opens her mouth to scream but as he crashes her head against the wall there's nothing more escaping her mouth but a small, frightened whimper. His free hand grabs her on her chin, his lips hovering inches over her cheek as he humms,

'' Ich fange an zu verstehen was der Freak in dir sieht…'' (I'm starting to realize what that freak sees in you) He steps in even closer to her, his knee between her legs. I can't remember ever feeling this burning rage in me. Not like that. Until now I could act out on this but right now I'm forced to watch how he's _grabbing my woman_ like she wouldn't be mine. Like she would be free for him. He's gonna regret it. My teeth are clenched so hard that my teeth seem ready to break, my knuckles are white. Steve came back soon after telling Mason to hit it but he jumps to his feet again now. I don't hear them talking. I don't hear the car. I hear _her_ frightened breathing. I hear his chuckle. There's a buzzing in my head.

'' Nimm deine Hände weg- '' (Get your hands off me-)

'' Na na, wer wird denn unhöflich werden. Du… solltest doch an sowas gewöhnt sein. So wie du schon hier rumläufst… du bist doch bestimmt die kleine Hure die hier jedem den Schwanz lutscht. '' (Ah ah, let's not be impolite. You… should be used to this. The way you look… I'm sure you're the little whore sucking everyone's dick) My eyes narrow. As Steve comes back I aim my gun at him, not looking up from the screen,

'' _You_. Shotgun. If we're not there within _the_ _next_ _two_ _seconds_ you two are fired. _Permanently_. '' He almost stumbles over his feet as he quickly turns to sit back down next to Mason. My hand clenches around the gun. Angel growls but it lost its threatening edge,

'' Lass mich los! '' (Let me go) Angel grits her teeth as his tongue darts out of his mouth to lick over her throat. She shuts her eyes close tightly and presses herself as close to the wall as she can. Even through the camera I can see her trembling in fear. She turns her head from him but he doesn't seem to care. I will cut his tongue off piece by piece but not before I bruned it, cut into it. He likes to play? Oh he will have tons of fun with me. And as soon as I'm done with him I'll put him somewhere everyone can see him. Make an example of him. The next bastard that tries to lay one fucking finger on her will end the same. They will know not to touch what's mine.

'' Oder bist du villeicht doch eher ein privates Spielzeug vom Joker? Der Freak kriegt doch bestimmt gar nicht genug von dir. Fickt er dich gegen die Wand? Beugt er dich über den Schreibtisch? Oder doch wie ein wahrer Gentleman im Bett? '' (Or maybe you're the private playtoy of the Joker after all? That freak's probably not getting enough of you. Does he fuck you against the wall? Is he bending you over the desk? Or is he taking you like a true gentleman in the bed?) She tries to struggle again but his grip is firm. She has no chance. His hand slides under her shirt to cup one of her breasts and squeeze it. Angel gives a raspy scream but breaks off in the middle and forces herself to keep her mouth closed. As if screaming or not screaming would matter right now. Maybe she's trying to save whatever dignity she feels she has left right now with her silence. I'll make him regret the tears he put in her eyes. My eyes hush to the windows for a seconds, we're close. We're almost in the forest. The car jumps as Mason makes a sharp turn and the tires drive over a tree.

'' Ich fänds viel besser wenn du schreist. Ruf doch nach deinem Freak. Bete das er kommt und dich rettet. '' (I would much more like to hear you scream. Why don't you call for your freak. Beg that he's coming to save you.)

_She doesn't need to beg you fucking piece of dirt!_

Before the car really stopped, I'm already jumping out. I kick the door in, the Hyenas and Dogs storming in with me but I'm at the guy first. He just has the time to take his mouth away from her jaw and look at me for a heartbeat before I grab him, toss him across the corridor and right into a wall. I slam my fist into his face several times, my fingers pulling at the flesh of his shoulder and ripping some of it while holding him there. Keep him from running.

'' You want 'er to _beg_?! You try to make _my_ _woman_ beg!? '' I toss his body to the ground but he doesn't get the time to try and make a run for it. Maybe if he wouldn't have tried to fucking rape her I would have made this a game of chasing him through the forest and hunt him down like a fucking boar. But he will never get to leave this house again. I grab his skull and dig my thumps into his eyes, watch them burst. He squirms and screams under me. My laughter dies down as I catch the faintest glance of a curled up body to my right.

'' You fuckin' disgustin' piece o' shit _dare_ to touch _m_ _y_ _woman_!? '' The laughter returns as he screams again, cries. Begs me to leave him alone. To forgive him. As if it would be that easy. He tried to fuck my woman, I'm going to make him feel what he wanted her to feel. And it takes all of my fucking control to not snap his neck right here and now. Instead I crash his head into the floor so that he's out like a candle. With a look over my shoulder I see Mason and Steve, waiting for orders.

'' Get 'im _down_ into the basement and check the area for _more of those rats_. '' They nod and quickly drag the body out of the house. You have to walk around it to reach the basement. The moment they're out of sight I turn my head. Angel has her knees tightly pressed against her chest, her side leaning heavy against the wall as if she's trying to disappear in it. Her nails are digging into the wallpaper, her head hidden behind her upper arm and in her knees. Her back's almost forming a circle in her attempt to curl to a ball. She's furiously tembling. I drop down on one knee in front of her. She winces at the noise. I reach out to touch her but stop millimeters over her skin…

 

_'' I'm not afraid of you...''_

 

After shrugging out of the blood-drenched gloves I put one hand on her back, she flinches again,

'' Angel…'' If that's even possible she's curling up even more. Carefully I push my hand between her head and her arm to be able to carefully get her head out of its hiding place. She's in a shock-state, if I want her out of there I need her to realize that I'm the one kneeling next to her. But as I turn her head to face me, her eyes are tightly closed. I caress the cheek with the scar gently. She's not reacting. I breathe out slowly, maybe I should get Steve here and let him try his luck. He's a fucking girl, he can try to get her out of that. But something in me keeps me right here in front of her. I don't want Steve to touch her right now. I don't want anyone to touch her.

'' Angel look at me. '' I keep my voice low but I hear the hint of order slipping into it. Suddenly she pushes herself off the wall with a loud sob and throws herself into my arms. My eyes widen slightly as I look down at her. Her arms are tightly wrapped around my neck as she's crying into my shoulder. I can feel the wet tears against my skin. The shaking of her body only becomes worse as the sobbing becomes louder and her grip on me tighter. No I don't want anyone else to comfort her. I don't want her to hug anybody else and cry into someone else's shoulder. With a sigh I pull her against me and press my lips to the crown of her head,

'' I've got ya... Yer fine... I've got ya...'' She's not flinching this time. I only remain a moment or two longer in that position before putting one of my arms under her the bending of her knees,

'' Angel, I'll lift you up now. '' I speak silently into her hair. As she gives no sign of protest I lift her up and carry her into our room. I let her down on the bed but as I want to let go of her she holds on to me tightly. My eyes widen a little in surprise before narrowing in anger. I shouldn't have left her behind on her own. She could have been asleep as they came. She could have been in the shower. In some place or position even more defenseless than this. Without her call I wouldn't have found out about them. And I would have come back to her raped and probably dead. They would have each taken their turns on her and there's nothing I could have done. I know this. And she knows it too which is not making this better. I take her hands from my shirt, holding them softly in my own while kneeling down in front of her,

'' Angel I need to take care of your injuries. You gotta let me go- ''

'' Don't go…'' Her voice is rough, nothing more but a silent whisper. After everything she's seen the past days, after everything I've put her through and made her see and feel she's never been like this. I will make that guy suffer. But first I need her to sleep. The best would be morphine against the pain and to make her sleep but another turkey would kill her. So wrapping her up and some painkillers and maybe a Valium will have to do.

'' I'll just be in the bathroom, I won't need long. '' I release her hands and rise from the ground, taking a last look at her before walking to the bathroom. I return a moment later but stop in the door. She didn't move from her poistion, she's still curled up in a ball. But now she's looking out of the window. It's raining again. Just now I notice that my coat's wet too. I shake out of the jacket and toss it over the desk. Her eyes move to me as I kneel down in front of her again. I want to tell her to get out of the shirt so that I can have a look at everything but I can't bring myself to open my mouth and speak those words. Not now. As if she's sensing what I'm thinking she slowly allows her legs to lower so that she sits with them crossed. With another glance at me she slowly shrugs out of the shirt, flinching here and now if a certain movement hurts. I look at her surprised, she gives a grim expression,

'' I trust you. '' There's something stoping in me. I can't remember the last time somebody ever told me those 3 words. And that for a reason. I'm not someone especially trustworthy. And yet here we have a woman that was beaten half to death and almost raped just a second ago willingly getting out of her shirt in front of me. My eyes briefly fly over her body. There are several bruises forming, the spot where the guy kicked her is already showing a deep shade of blue and purple. Something in my chest clenches. I'm not used to guilt anymore. The feeling's disgusting me but that doesn't stop it from being there. I could have left one of the guys here. Or two. I could have taken her with me and make her wait in the car. There are dozens of things I could have done to avoid this. I was the one telling her I'm in control of everything going on here. She's got every right to hate me.

'' …Don't do this...'' Her voice makes me look up again, I didn't even realize I was staring at the floor. She's looking at me, her eyes hollow,

'' What? ''

'' … It wasn't your fault… Don't blame yourself for this…'' I laugh dryly, trying to avoid the fact that she's right. I am blaming myself. And I hate myself for it. And I hate her for it.

'' I'm not blaming myself. ''

'' Yes you are. Since you hit me you look at me like I would be afraid of you… But I'm not… Nothing you do could make me be afraid of you. '' She inhales a deep breathe, her voice trembling but I can't say if it's because of the pain or if it's something else. Angel's lips turn into a bitter smile,

'' I trust you… And I'm so… _so_ _glad_ that you saved me… I was hoping you would. He wanted me to scream but I didn't. I was just hoping you would come...'' My eyes narrow, there's that buzzing in the back of my mind again. I cup both of her cheeks and lean in close to her, my voice a low growl,

'' I _won't_ let anyone do it, Angel _._ I _won't_ let _anyone_ touch you _ever_ again. You're _mine…_ and I'll make sure people understand that. ''


End file.
